Do you think you’re a positive person? A positive mental attitude can improve your health, enhance your relationships, increase your chances of success, and add years to your life.
The fact is, most people are bombarded by negativity each day. Sure, it’s easy to cast blame by saying you’re surrounded by negative people. The reality: A lot of the negativity is self-inflicted…influenced by the company you keep and your personal perspective on life’s realities.
Take a minute…
Think how often in the day you’re besieged by people who argue over money, worry about the possibility of failure, complain about someone’s actions, criticize mistakes, mistrust someone’s intentions, blame others to avoid condemnation, envy someone for personal achievements, and gossip about trivial garbage. (No wonder we’re exhausted at the end of the day.)
Let’s take a closer look at the negativity that we face every day…
Arguments. Many arguments are the result of poor communication, the lack of open mindedness, or the clash of opposing values and principles. People also argue to force their viewpoint on others or just to let off steam.
Worry. Others worry about losing control. They desire certainty in an uncertain world. These people feel that worrying is productive, even though they’ll be the first to tell you that they’re driving themselves crazy because they can’t get these thoughts out of their head.
Fear. Some people fear the unknown. Just as pollution damages the environment, fear is toxic to individuals and companies. Fear encourages people to withdraw, keep information close to their vest, hide mistakes, and refuse to take risks. Whether their fear is caused by something real or imagined, perception is reality.
Blame. Criticizing and insulting people in front of their peers, challenging their competence, demanding impossible deadlines, and cutting them out of the information loop are tactics that create negativity. Furthermore, when something goes wrong, people often look to others to cast blame. The result is that everyone watches out for #1 — themselves.
Complaints. The reason many people complain all the time is not necessarily because they’re unhappy with their lives or circumstances. The fact is, compulsive complainers don’t even realize that they’re complaining. Perpetual complainers grumble out of boredom or a desire to turn an awkward moment of silence into a conversation starter. Or sometimes, people complain just because it makes them feel better to vent.
Criticism. There’s a difference between constructive feedback and biting criticism. While constructive feedback is offered with good intent, constant and biting criticism can lead to stress, anxiety, and reduced self-esteem.
Mistrust. How much time is wasted and how much ill will created as a result of mistrust? People spend endless hours second-guessing intent, peering over shoulders, and creating elaborate approval processes to check and recheck.
Jealousy. When is enough, enough? We live in a society where many people aren’t satisfied with their own accomplishments. If our neighbor buys a new toy, if our colleague receives a promotion, or if the TV celebrity flaunts a new design, we want it too. The problem is, after the excitement wears off, the finish line moves as well. Whether it’s affordable, deserved, or needed never comes into question.
Gossip (our national pastime). People gossip to fit into a group, fill a void in conversation, prove that they’re in the know, take revenge on a person, put someone in their place, or merely to gain attention. Gossip is a disease spread mouth to mouth. It’s one of those distractions that keep us from focusing on our own lives.
It Pays to Be Positive
There’s a direct correlation between a positive attitude and better relationships, superior health, and greater success.
A positive attitude can boost your energy, heighten your inner strength, inspire others, and garner the fortitude to meet difficult challenges. According to research from the Mayo Clinic, positive thinking can increase your life span, decrease depression, reduce levels of distress, provide greater resistance to the common cold, offer better psychological and physical well-being, reduce the risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and enable you to cope better during hardships and times of stress.
Here are several ways to adopt a positive mental attitude:
Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with people who are positive, supportive, and who energize you. Remember, if you get too close to a drowning victim, he may take you down with him. Pick a positive person instead.
Be positive yourself. If you don’t want to be surrounded by negative people, what makes you think others do? Learn to master your own thoughts. For example:
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When you visualize a goal, it makes you more likely to take the actions necessary to reach it. Visualize yourself winning the race, getting the promotion, accepting the award, or landing the new account.
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Control your negative thinking. This can be accomplished in the following ways:
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Be positive. See the glass as half full rather than half empty.
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Anticipate the best outcome.
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Stay the middle ground. Don’t view everything in extremes — as either fantastic or a catastrophe. This will help you reduce your highs and lows.
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Mistakes happen. Negative people blame themselves for every bad occurrence whether it was their fault or not. Don’t let this be you.
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Consciously resist negative thinking. Be cognizant of and mentally avoid negative thinking. This will help you modify your behavior.
Be nice to yourself. Unfortunately, some people say the meanest things to themselves. If you criticize yourself long enough, you’ll start to believe it. This negativity can drag you down over time. It may be time to fire the critic and hire the advocate.
Set realistic, achievable goals. There’s nothing wrong with setting a high bar — unless you beat yourself up for not achieving your goals. The key is to build confidence by setting realistic goals and by hitting a lot of singles rather than swinging for the fences.
Keep it in perspective. Life is all about prioritizing the things that matter most in your life and focusing your efforts in these areas. This means that trivial things that go wrong every day shouldn’t get you down. Learn to address or ignore small issues and move on. It’s time to sweat the big stuff.
Turn challenges into opportunities. Instead of letting challenges overwhelm you, turn them into opportunities. (Rather than hitting the wall, climb over it or go around.)
Count your blessings. Be grateful and give thanks for the special things in your life rather than taking them for granted. Some people do this by giving thanks around the dinner table, keeping a written journal, or posting one special item each day on Facebook. Remember, some of the greatest possessions in life aren’t material. Take every opportunity to make a wonderful new memory.
If you want to achieve happiness, better health, stronger relationships, and continued success, you may not have to look any further than the mirror. “The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.”* Do you see the glass half full or half empty? True happiness may depend on how you view the world and who you look to for inspiration. It pays to be positive.
*Author unknown. See http://anse.rs/iatZYn
Do You Have a Can-Do Attitude?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Do You Have a Healthy Mindset?
If You Believe You Can’t, You Won’t
Great Things Start with Great Expectations
Mental Barriers: What’s Holding You Back?
Do You Have a Victim Mentality?
How An Expectation Drives Performance
Are You Too Tough On Yourself?
Are You Down in the Dumps? Take This Challenge
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Absolutely, positively true! As I dive into a new job search with both feet, I’ve gained lot a positive momentum just from having a great outlook, confidence and an open mind. Id like to think I have always been a half-fuller but now its extremely beneficial as every day something new has given me insight, inspiration and something new to consider. Although its not swing for the fences time yet, I am hitting a lot of doubles and singles each day and it feels great. It’s going to take a lot more than three outs to get me to sit down in this life.
I’m also beginning an active job search. My struggle, however, is… I’m surrounded by negativity and feel I need to leave to escape it. But should I be able to remain positive and deal with it and stay? Sounds good in theory. Very difficult in practice. Always still wondering if it’s me… good luck on your search.
Good Morning! Yes it’s a sunny morning and I am starting the day with
the reading of another insightful and uplifting blog from Frank. I have always been the type to believe things will turn out for the best and that every
morning is a fresh start. Those negative thoughts do take over at times
and it’s good to remember the power is within us to be positive and change
things for ourselves. I’ll enjoy the challenge to remove the unwanted in
my life. Thanks for the tips!
Thank you, Frank, for the very concrete “to do” list supported by experience and research. Definitely will be shared.
Another quotable gem: “Gossip is a disease that’s spread mouth to mouth”. Love it!
I’m one of those worriers, especially now as we wait for letters from college admissions offices. But I’ve decided to be “nice to myself” and let the worry/frustration out in yoga. People have to remember that they live with themselves 24/7. Be sure that person is happy!
Frank, this is superb.
Marc / Kathy / Susan / Rossana / Ed
Thanks so much for your comments. Much appreciated!
Marc, it’s so much easier looking for a job when you’re UP. I have no doubt that this story will have a very happy ending. You’re a real winner!
Kathy, it’s funny that we each have the choice to see the glass half full or half empty, and some people choose half empty. What’s with that?
Rossana, I remember the college admissions process like it was yesterday. Looking back I can tell you that it works out for the best. It really does.
Frank, this article is excellent. I recommend people print it out and read it every day as a reminder. People tend to be drawn to positive people. Worrying has no positive upside for a person, and can’t change the situation. In fact, it achieves nothing but negative results. Gossip is another destructive behavior. Avoid situations where you know there will be gossip. If it starts, tactfully change the subject. If that doesn’t work you can excuse yourself politely. It’s easier than you think.
I love how you ended with “count your blessings”. This is so important. It is amazing how this can help shape a positive attitude rather quickly!
Thanks so much for these wonderful reminders.
I have always liked the idea of surrounding yourself with a positive environment. Hanging around people that will challenge you but keep you up when you’re falling down is incredibly important. These positive environments are truly “greater than the sum of their parts” and by investing in your environment you are indirectly investing in yourself.
Thanks Frank!
www.whoisdanfonseca.com
www.twitter.com/whoisdanfonseca
This is such an important post that I could read it every morning as I start my day. Each of the steps you outline for becoming more positive need to be reviewed on a regular basis so they become a natural part of our thinking.
It’s so important to become aware of that inner critic and the negative messages we bombard ourselves with…and to replace them with uplifting, affirming words so we build our confidence from the inside out.
Thank you, Frank, for once again addressing an important topic so clearly, and for providing specific steps people can take to develop a positive attitude.
Lauriana / Dan / Meredith
Thanks soooo much for your comments.
Lauriana/Meredith — While you say that you could read this post every day, I could read your comments every hour. Thanks
It’s funny that we can control our happiness just by changing our perspective. (Isn’t it worth a try?)
Positivity opens doors and minds to well-being wonders. Love this article that reminds me Positive Psychology currency buys me joy and elevation. Kudos!
hi it is very good .
Judy/ Pramod
Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated.
If you have a moment, take a look at my post called, “Seeing the World Through Rose-Colored Glasses.” It’s a different twist on living with a positive attitude.
Have a great day!
This is excellent Frank and so very true. If one thinks in terms of a thought and analysis it as coming from love or fear (which you mention), one can start to change ones thinking one thought at a time. If the thought is from fear, then discard it. The ego is the great con master of the mind and many fall pray to it. I thoroughly love the way you are able to articulate yourself and present a brilliant concise article that anyone can understand and appreciate.
With admiration
Lau
Laureen
Thanks for your comment. Your point is well taken. The best way to become a positive person is one thought at a time. It’s a game of inches. Have a great weekend! Frank
Hi Frank – another great post.
There are not many things more important than a positive perspective. Great leaders are positive people that exude hope and a belief that just about anything is possible.
I think there still needs to be a better way articulated to help people learn how to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. How does one actually change their tendency to see the glass as half full? Somehow just telling them they need to do it doesn’t seem enough. I use a “gong” in my office. Whenever a client falls back into their negativity by a comment, I ring the gong. I’m hoping that they will eventually have an “inner gong” that will go off to change their negativity habit.
I’d love to hear other ways to get at this!
Thanks, Frank, for raising an ever-important issue.
Terry
Thanks for your comments Terry. You’re absolutely right. It’s very tough to break a bad habit. The gong is a GREAT idea. Many years ago I took a positive thinking seminar. Our homework assignment for the week was to say “cancel, cancel” every time we had a negative thought. It was really eye-opening.
There is no secrete for a good doing but for bad conduct
Great post!
It is ultimately your mindset that dictates your actions. And having a positive mindset will result in your actions and speech being more positive. And people often underestimate the power of positive words and actions.
On a relevant note, I read a post by Dan Rockwell called ‘The 4 to 1 Rule Will Change Your Life’ (http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2011/07/03/the-4-to-1-rule-will-change-your-life/). It also talks about incorporating positiveness in the way you think and express.
– Sindoora (http://www.beyondhorizons.in)
Granch / Sindoora
Thanks for your comments and for the reading suggestion.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
Sir, Thank you so much for the wonderful article. I really really love to read and absorb it to my mind and it can really help me to boast my thoughts into a great one… thanks again! Hope that you can create more…More blogs to come… God Bless! Be happy and nice always…
Hi Frank, thanks for this excellent article! One always underestimates the power of positive thinking! Jenny
Thanks Frank… for your article, can change a lot…
Thank YOU Sunil.
Somehow, many people find it easier to think negative rather than thinking positive. When stock prices falls, people always think it is end of the financial world. This world really need more positive thinking people to make it a better place. Great reminder to all. Cheers. 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts.
It’s like the saying goes, “Is the glass half empty or half full?” It’s your choice how you want to view the world.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
So true! Our mindset and overall worldview play such a huge role in our overall happiness. Thank you for the insightful post!
Kris
www.krishammons.com
Thanks Frank for this great blog. Seeing things positively & being optimistic are important for your health & to achieve your goals. I always advise my staff to deal with challenges as great apportunities for learning and having additional experiences.
A very nice article. I enjoyed reading every bit of it, including all the comments!
Hi Najiba
I’m so glad you like it. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
This article was great, I really enjoyed it.
Thanks Barbara. I’m so glad you like it.
Best,
Frank
Frank,
It is Diana from DAARSTOC! I truly admire this article – so much so, that I have it printed out and posted next to my desk at work. I expect to put up more articles from you as I find them enlightening and inspirational.
Thank you so much for all that you do!
-Diana
Hi Diana
It’s great hearing from you. It’s SO important to have a positive attitude. I’m glad you find the post useful.
I hope to see you back at DAARSTOC this fall.
Have an awesome weekend!
Frank
Good Afternoon Frank,
I just wanted to Thank You for this timely article that came across my LinkedIn account today.
I struggle with alot of what you wrote sometimes on a daily basis and no matter what I have tried, this article speaks volumes to me and perhaps can be the change I need!
Please continue with your awesome work!
Hi Tammy
I’m glad that this article resonated with you. I can assure you that many people struggle with the ups and downs of life. I find it helpful to read or listen to motivational material that add a new perspective. My goal in writing this piece was to take it one step further by adding action steps.
Thanks for taking the time to write. I appreciate it.
Have an awesome day.
Best,
Frank
Another great article!!! Thanks to modern technology, neuroscientist are now able to study the brain in real time and can see what happens when a patient is asked to recall happy, positive memories. The research overwhelmingly indicate that thinking positive activates chemicals that make us feel good and de-activates stress hormones. On the other hand when we are stressed, worry, angry or disappointed we activate the release stress hormones, while reducing the feel good chemicals such as: Serotonin, dopamine, GABA and even melatonin. This imbalance in chemicals and hormones if left unchecked can cause blood sugar imbalance that can lead to illnesses such as, diabetes and heart disease. It is no longer just theory, it is a scientific fact. A positive attitude improves our mental and physical health. Thanks Frank
Johnny Oye
Hi Johnny.
As you can tell I’m a big advocate of positive thinking. I can’t wait to get your book, “ MonkeyBrain“ and learn more about how a positive attitude can improve well-being. As I’ve heard you say, “The health and wellness industry is so focused on the physical body that they tend to overlook the work that has to be done for the brain and for the spirit in order to achieve optimum performance as well as emotional balance.”
Thanks for your thoughts.
Best,
Frank
sometime i think negative but after this blog i know the actual value of positive attitude. it helps me in solving difficult problems. power of positive attitude is very necessary. it is good for our health as well.
Hi Shiwanijaswal
We all have our ups and downs. I hope this post helps you have a few more positive days this year. Have a great day!
Best,
Frank
Thank you for informative & really needed a post about Positive Thinking.
I’m glad you like it, Tim. As I said, “There’s a direct correlation between a positive attitude and better relationships, superior health, and greater success.”
Stay positive 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
This article is really motivational. I became so positive after reading this that the half filled glass is looking fully filled, half with water and other half with air. So thank you sir
Thank you Neel. I’m so glad you like it. Attitude is everything!
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I’ve read through something like
this before. So great to discover another person with a few original thoughts on this issue.
Really.. thanks for starting this up. This site is something that’s needed on the internet, someone
with a bit of originality! This article would be more helpful.
Thank you Usmar. You made my day 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
When you are having a bad time, due to some people who are actually mean and then you read this it really uplifts the mood. Thanks a lot. it feels much lighter as if I have shed some of the burden that is not mine.
Thanks,
Jenny
Thanks Jenny. I’m glad that this post lifted your spirits.
For some folks, being kind is second nature, while for others it’s a chore. You have to wonder why some people go out of their way to be mean. After all, being kind doesn’t require any more effort than being cold and callous does. But some people seem to prefer it that way. They’re either too darn busy, too self-absorbed, or can’t be bothered to make the effort.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank