It’s one thing to have a bad day yet quite another to fall on tough times. These are the days when it’s hard to get out of bed, not knowing how you’re going to make it through the day. These are the days when it feels like the world is crumbling around you and you’ve been hit by a two-by-four by the time you go to bed at night. Yet, these are the times that shape character and show what you’re made of. So what do tough times say about you?
Unfortunately, for most of us, there comes a time when we will experience a major setback. Whether we’re confronted by a personal tragedy, faced with a serious financial crisis, or struck by an uncontrollable event, these are the times that test our will and our spirit.
Everyone reacts to these situations differently. Some people get angry, feel sorry for themselves, and cast blame; other people remain calm, create an action plan to move forward, and look for a trace of blue in the dark skies ahead. The fact is, the way you respond to these situations in the short term can impact your long-term success and happiness. As George S. Patton said, “The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.”
Character Matters During Tough Times
Be Positive. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Remain calm and levelheaded. Count to ten. Try to make decisions based on fact rather than emotion.
Accept support. There are wonderful people who care about you. Don’t shut them out, or worse, take your problem out on them. They’re trying to help.
Learn from the past. Have you faced a similar situation in the past? Apply lessons learned. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel.
Seek professional counsel. Identify someone to serve as a sounding board. Gain from their knowledge, experience, and objective viewpoint.
Face reality. Don’t run away from the problem; run toward it. Accept reality as it is, not as you want it to be.
Own the problem. Don’t waste precious time and energy making excuses or casting blame. Move forward rather than dwelling in the past.
Make tough choices. Don’t procrastinate or hold out for the perfect answer; there may not be one. Identify your options and create a plan of action. You’ll gain more from moving forward in a deliberate fashion than from running around like a chicken without a head.
Set priorities. Don’t treat every option or activity equally. It’s smarter to do the important things rather than to complete every item on your list.
Build momentum. Big problems are best solved in small pieces. Tackle short-term items to achieve wins while you address the root cause.
Remain true to your values. This is no time to compromise your integrity. Listen to your conscience. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Be loyal. Don’t throw anyone under the bus to save your hide. In fact, putting the needs of others first may supply the positive energy you need to move forward.
Find an outlet for relaxation. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Identify ways to relax and reduce stress. That’ll help you complete the mission with your sanity intact.
Be a leader. These are the times when real leaders show their character. Lead by example. Be the first to “take a hit” before asking others to do the same.
Never quit. As Richard M. Nixon said, “A man is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits.”
Keep the faith. When nothing seems to work, faith often does.
Learn from the experience. Make sure to learn from the experience. You may have to apply this lesson another day. One thing this teaches us is that life is filled with “ups and downs,” so make the most of the “in-betweens.”
From Tough Times to Good Times
Believe in yourself. This too shall pass. This isn’t the first or the last time that you’re going to face tough times. If the situation is within your control, do something about it; if not, accept it for what it is and try to make the best of it. You survived the last time you faced a crisis, and you will this time as well. Remember, it’s not going to get better by sitting around. In fact, left unattended, small problems often become bigger ones.
It’s easy to look like a star when times are good, but when times are tough, your true character comes into full view. Be strong. Don’t compromise your integrity; don’t lower your standards; and above all, don’t quit. You’re better than that. You owe it to yourself to overcome the problem, as you have so many times before. There is great wisdom in Friedrich Nietzsche’s truism, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” The key is to get through tough times with dignity and grace. So hold your head up high. No one ever said it’s easy. And for that, you’ll have more reason to be proud when it’s over. Tough times say a lot about us. Let’s hope that they say only good things about you!
What Are Your Thoughts About Hard Times?
Additional Reading:
Don’t Quit. Show Some Grit
The Power of a Positive Attitude
Success Begins With a Can Do Attitude
Is Asking for Help a Weakness?
How Do You Respond in a Crisis?
17 Action Steps to Take During Hard Times
Good Times Build Confidence…Bad Times Build Character
How to Prepare for Tough Times
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Thanks, Frank. This is a succinct reminder on how to navigate a rocky patch in life. Absolutely worth reflecting upon, especially when things are going well.
Hi Carlos.
It’s great hearing from you. I hope all is well.
You make a good point … It’s a lot easier to think about how to handle tough times during smooth sailing –– when we’re not emotional.
Have an awesome day my friend.
Best,
Frank
Frank,
These are very good. Taking the next step to action is important and often the hardest part of the journey.
Cheers,
Mark
Very true Mark. As the Chinese saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Lovely Frank. Thank you.
And, I know we can learn to be broken and powerless, and we can learn to be bigger than any problem. We are hardwired for both. So the choice is ours.
Hi Christopher
Great point. “We can learn to be broken and powerless, and we can learn to be bigger than any problem. We are hardwired for both. So the choice is ours.”
It’s important to note that I am, in no way, diminishing the pain that people go through during tough times. But, If the situation is within our control, we should do something about it; if not accept it for what it is and try to make the best of it.
We can’t control everything, but we do have control how we respond.
Have a great day!
Frank
Thanks Frank. The hardest to deal with (for me): this too shall pass.
Cheers,
Rita
Hi Rita
I absolutely understand. I recently heard someone say, “If I only knew that I would land on my feet, I wouldn’t have gotten so stressed out during the process.” The problem is, there’s no way of knowing when/if it will happen. Therein lies the rub. If it turned out out well before, it’s important to have faith that it’ll happen again.
Have an awesome evening.
Best,
Frank
I appreciate your post. I been dealing with a diagnosis of “silent reflux” for about 3 weeks. It causes night breathing spasms which limits my sleep to 4 hrs a night. I’m exhausted, but immediately took action to connect with experts in this field. I’m on a special diet, and praying that these spams resolve soon! Your post gives me courage that “this too shall pass” if I keep faith and press forward. Thanks so much for sharing.
Hi Lisa
I’m so glad that this post resonated with you.
Sorry that you’re in the midst of a tough situation. Hopefully the experts you are consulting will provide some clarity, relief and a path forward. Keep the faith 🙂
Best,
Frank
Good post and I’ve shared it on my social media links. One thing I’ve changed in my presentation of such information is this:
Although life is long and can be considered a marathon, I see it as a series of sprints. We need to run hard, then rest, run hard, then rest. Burnout happens when there is no rest periods or sense of accomplishment.
I guess this is why I absolutely love my sport of racquetball. Lot’s of fast, quick rally’s, living in the moment and then when the points over, you’re on to the next point. My life / wellness coaching is based on this and many simply tools to develop whole person well-being. Fully-engaged and resilient. I call my clients “WARRIORS” because we are fighting battles all the time.
Again, good points my friend!
TCOY = Take Care of You!
Lucy DelSarto
Hi Lucy
I applaud your enthusiasm. Your passion jumps right off the page. WOW.
I absolutely agree. Finding time to take a five-minute vacation often provides the energy we need to tackle challenges that we face. I’ve also found that short-term wins provide momentum while allowing us to address long-term challenges.
What readers may not know about you is that you’re a professional athlete –– ranking in the top 16 racquetball players in the world. That’s quite an accomplishment. It’s great that you use this experience to motivate and teach others about wellness and addressing tough times.
Thanks so much for sharing this post with your friends and colleagues. I appreciate it.
Best,
Frank
Very nice & motivating. Thanks a lot!
Thank YOU Anthony for your kind words (and for taking the time to write)
Have an awesome weekend!
Best,
Frank
All experiences shape us, but as you mentioned, tough times can shape us more than other experiences. Can shape us negatively or positively…it’s all in our perspective. Questions like (1) what can I learn, (2) how can I get better, and (3) what gift can I discover help make tough times much more meaningful and valuable.
You’re right Kent.
Some people see the glass as half-full others see it as half-empty. The key is that a positive attitude is beneficial in so many ways in the marathon we call life.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Best,
Frank
Frank,
Thank you for sharing this on your blog! I like to look at the glass half full of air and half full of water.
Mark Sanberg taught me about having a “trigger” that will help during times of trouble. His trigger was touching his thumb’s knuckles. My trigger is tapping my palm with my fingers (all on my right hand). In order to create a trigger, every time I experience something that makes me extremely happy or makes me laugh, I close my hand and tap twice. Whenever I go through moments when I’m nervous or tough times, I tap my palm twice which triggers the happier memories.
Another thing I do is whenever I overcome tough times, I write a note to myself on what I learned and praising myself how I went through the time.
I’m a college student. Whenever I come home, I find myself missing my family members and feeling “lost” in a sense where I have grown so much without being with my family that I feel like a different person every time I come home. Taped onto my door is a piece of paper reminding me of how much I have learned from college such as being able to stray away from other people’s problems (I can be nosy), being able to say “no” in uncomfortable situations, and how much of a beautiful person I have become physically and mentally. It’s not as to the book as I am writing it to be. My note says something more along the lines of, “You’re so caring, it’s no wonder why you don’t stay home; you’re out there sharing it with the entire world” These are things that help me get through tough times.
Hi Taffy
You have wisdom well beyond your years.
It’s wonderful that Mark is serving as your mentor and that he shares his experience with you. Whether you’re using a trigger point or writing a note to yourself during tough times, I’m glad that you’re finding what works best for you. I’m sure you’ll meet a person, one day, who’s far from home and you’ll be willing to share the lessons that you’ve learned. That will be very gratifying for you.
Being far away from home is tough, but the lessons you’re learning will serve you for the rest of your life 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
Thank you for the tips. Those are very helpful for me! Just like what I learned from my professor at almentor, I have to face reality. Escaping the problem is not the solution, facing it could be.
You’re right, Adnan “Escaping the problem is not the solution, facing it could be.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
This is wonderful, its really great, it inspires me to face every problem i have, really thank you, and it pairs well with the lessons from almentor to, thanks.
Hi Muhammad
Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad you like it.
Best,
Frank