Do you know anyone who’s as phony as a three-dollar bill? They say one thing yet do another; they make rules but don’t follow them; and they live one way in public yet another in private. They’re so dishonest, they could be called professional liars. In fact, many hypocrites even lie to themselves. Are you a hypocrite?
Sometimes folks are unaware that they’re being two-faced, but oftentimes they know exactly what they’re doing. They’re trying to manipulate the truth, conceal an embarrassment, or compensate for a weak line of reasoning. In any case, hypocrites know the real truth, but they’re afraid that revealing it may have negative consequences — so they mislead.
Hypocrites know the truth but fail to reveal it.
How to Spot a Hypocrite
There are many ways that hypocrisy rears its ugly head. Here are 23 ways to spot a hypocrite. Hypocrites:
- Say one thing but do another.
- Treat those in power differently than they act toward underlings.
- Give advice but fail to follow their own guidance.
- Preach tolerance but judge others who don’t conform to their way of thinking.
- Volunteer others but rarely raise their own hand.
- Live one way in public but another in private.
- Pretend to be someone they’re not merely to win acceptance.
- Make rules but fail to follow the rules themselves.
- Preach morality but live a shameful life.
- Demand things of others that they’re unwilling to do themselves.
- Say one thing to someone’s face but another thing behind their back.
- Pretend to be wealthy even though their bank account is bare.
- Alter their opinion to gain acceptance from people with differing viewpoints.
- Condemn the actions of others even though they commit those same acts themselves.
- Promote a holier-than-thou image merely to offset reckless behavior.
- Help people only when it’s in their personal interest to do so.
- Pretend to care when their motive is really self-serving.
- Demand austerity for others but handsomely compensate themselves.
- Feign outrage even though they have no intention of doing anything about it.
- Penalize some folks for wrongdoings but look the other way for others.
- Lecture people about morality but cover up for their friends.
- Judge others but call people intolerant when they’re personally judged.
- Act one way when folks are looking; the opposite when they’re not.
Be True to Yourself and to Others
Hypocrisy is an addiction. You dupe people once and think you can get away with it again. But although you may think that you’re fooling the world, you’re only kidding yourself. People are on to you, and the ramifications are worse than you think.
How can you be a trusted friend, respected parent, credible role model, or an effective leader if you’re living a lie? As the saying goes, “Some people are like pennies. Two-faced and worthless.”
Authentic people are genuine — they’re confident in their beliefs and are true to themselves. People who have strength of conviction don’t obstruct the truth. They don’t fear what people may think, what folks may say, or that some people may challenge or reject their views. They are true to their principles, own their actions, and most importantly, they’re true to themselves. Period!
Be the real you. Listen to your conscience. Form your own opinions. And live your life with honor. One of the best rewards from achieving success is knowing that you earned your achievements through hard work, commitment, and integrity. The same is true of living a good life. Believe in yourself. Be authentic. Live the truth! At the end of the day, be proud of what you do and who you are. After all, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Are You a Hypocrite?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Counterfeit Leadership
13 Ways to Spot a Lie
ACTIONS Speak Louder Than Words
Honesty: The Plan and Simple Truth
50 Ways to Lose Trust and Credibility
Being “All Talk” Speaks Volumes. Need I Say More?
If You Can’t Be Yourself Around Others, Who Are You?
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So incredibly true……..The person who unfortunately has left a lasting impression on my soul….forever!!!……..has mastered every single one except for #12……He is a Dr. who i worked for the past 10 years……May Lord Krishna shower him with the Karma he deserves…..Your “Namaste is a lie!!”…..
I’m sorry that you had to live through that experience. It sounds pretty bad. The way I see it, as long as karma exists, people ultimately get what they deserve.
On another note, it’s important to let it go. As Buddha taught, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I’ve been a hypocrite many times in my past. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who wasn’t a hypocrite at some time or another. I do think it is posible to transcend it with enough self-awareness. Especially by acknowleging one is a hypocrite. Confidence in beliefs, in my experience, can lead to the biggest hypocrites. I think it’s more of a moderate amount of confidence and doubt that one can see oneself and others with more clarity. Enjoyed the article. Good job!
Hi Jeff
I believe that folks who care about the journey as well as just the destination are less likely to be hypocrites. They do what’s right, not out of fear of getting caught, but because integrity matters. They can hold their head up high knowing that they’re being true to themselves. What’s that worth? Everything! After all, they have to live with themselves for the rest of their life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I found myself reading this article because I think I have just cut off someone who is a hypocrite. And what’s even sadder is that I feel that I’m on the path of becoming one too by saying little lies to myself and even others. I think one needs to practice self-discipline that eventually results in confidence, and somehow raising self-awareness. That is the thing I can’t really get a grasp on, self-awareness. Anyways, thank you for the article, Frank.
Hi Gabriella
We’re all imperfect 🙂
Some folks make every effort to do better and to be better. Others do whatever they have to do to get what they want.
The real prize for living with integrity is making yourself proud. You can take great pride in knowing that you held yourself to a high standard and never compromised your ideals. You didn’t choose the easy route; you chose the honorable way. You fought hard to attain your dreams, but you did so with dignity and grace. In so doing, you brought honor to your family, you earned respect from your friends, and most importantly, you did yourself proud.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Good evening Mr frank thank you for writing this important article about these types of people. Ive encountered one in the past and it was the worst person ive ever meet in existence, and this hypocrite falls under all of the above. And you were right, the ramifications were extremely bad for the person. I would like to add that lying is also a part of the hypocrisy because they live in a world of make believe. Thinking that they can fool anyone.
Hi Kevin
I agree. Many of these folks not only lie to others, they lie to themselves. On another note, If you’ve only encountered one hypocrite, you’re a lucky guy 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi Mr Frank !
Thank you so much for writing back to me ! I couldn’t be more great full !! And i’ve only meet 3 hypocrites in my life’s fortunately !!
And also that person i write about previously has lost all of its friends, i know this because most of my friends reach me out and tell me about their experience with this donkey, apologizes for the rough choice of words..
This person was just unbelievable, but your quote about being true to your self, was
spot on, the part where you said “people are on to you, and the ramifications are worst that you think” it really did happen!! We were actually a group with this person on a game but after that Whole incident on getting caught lying red handed each core member quit the group leaving it to its empty shell, one of em contacted me and i Give this link as a reference to show him that this is what we are looking at. We agreed on every point, Again Thank you for writing this Sir!
That’s too bad, Kevin. I hope he learned an important lesson.
Some of the most precious things you possess are your honor, your dignity, and your reputation. Be the person others look up to — whose character is beyond reproach. Be the one who inspires others to achieve excellence. And be the one who lives with honor and dignity. At the end of the day, if you’re not proud of who you are and the way you choose to live your life, little else matters.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Thank you Frank for this useful and timely piece of writing. It will serve as a good guide for me.
My pleasure, Justice. I’m glad you like it.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Currently, I am one of the “underlings” that have to deal with a hypocrite. It’s difficult serving under this person. Based on the list alone, 19 of the 23 are evident. The thing is, I have noticed how sociable she is, whereas I am an introvert, and I think she uses that as her advantage. It’s exhausting for me.
Hi Sean
I’m sorry you work for a hypocrite. Unfortunately, you’re not alone.
While you see right through your boss, I can assure you, others do too. What confounds me most, is that hypocrites don’t even believe what they say. Otherwise, their words would be consistent with their actions. Actions speak!
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
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This article says everything about my current situation with someone. Just because he needed to do something for me, he turned me and my whole family to his daily servants and using us without any form of compensation instead he’s gulping every cash that we could manage to get!.. It’s a bitter experience 🤣🤣🤣
That’s unfortunate, Tony
The only saving grace is that he has face himself in the mirror. I couldn’t live with myself if I acted that way.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hello sir thanks for the article. I have been one of a hypocrite in a long while but I have come to realize it and I want to step out of that zone because is really hurting me I lost my best friend due to hypocrisy and since he has not been taking my calls neither replying I will love to have some guides to step out of that zone of hypocrisy it dose no Good but harm to dose who rely love me please help me
Thanks
Bravo Derick. I applaud your honesty and willingness to better yourself.
The first step in solving any problem is recognizing that you have one.
As a first step, take a look at these articles. I think they’ll offer you some insight.
How to Make Your Words Meaningful
Why Do You Trust Some People and Mistrust Others?
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Dear, Frank I am a hypocrite and I’m not surprised. Didn’t know it until I read this article though. Mad love for you Sr. Youre a brilliant man.
Hi Ricky
The first step in solving a problem is knowing that you have one. I’m sure you’ll take steps to make things right.
Best,
Frank
I have a question actually since you are actually responding wow thanks, ok I won’t mention names or anything but someone I know is a major hypocrite almost like he is trying to win a competition. It’s really weird never seen anything like this person is mentally handicapped as well so that has to be taken into consideration.
This person will call my work talk about me behind my back, others in the neighborhood nothing good of course, but to my face; they try to act as they care. I had to change jobs it was that bad and not tell him where I work, now he teases that I don’t have a job. He gets no reaction out of me so what’s the drive, this is why it makes no sense if this person is really mentally unhealthy, or am I enabling it somehow I don’t engage with him at all now but still tries to banter years later yet like what is wrong with him it’s really annoying to deal with.
They get upset at everything it seems agrees with them they are upset to disagree they upset. Like there seems to be no reasoning or is there may be something else going on as well. They will talk about me to anyone that will listen calling me a loser and a liar this person has a terrible life mostly self-created always owing people money if they ask for payback he kicks them out of his life and will then do the same thing to that person its a never-ending cycle. I cannot avoid this person either as we live in the same neighborhood and not gonna move just for one person either of course. What to do because it’s creating drama in the neighborhood and creating riffs between people it us vs them situation now. How this guy can convince people it’s the other person that is a liar I don’t know but he does.
Hi Ryan
There are all kinds of people in this world. I stopped trying to figure out why they do what they do.
The way that I deal with toxic people is to simply ignore what they say. The truth is that their mean-spirited words say more about them then they say about you.
The important thing isn’t what they think of you, but rather how you view yourself. After all, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Thanks for your article and the explanation of what hypocrisy really is. I sadly had to cut off some one I thought of as a “best friend” when I realized she possessed these qualities. I felt stupid and taken advantage of, but have since realized that I’ve always been honest and upfront with my own intentions as far as this “friendship” was concerned. I turned a blind eye to this person’s actions towards me and others, as I really enjoyed many aspects of the friendship. Finally took the blinders off…. and it hurts.. but the truth has set me free. Thank you for the insights gained from your amazingly well-written article!
Thanks for your kind words, Althea. I’m glad you like it.
It’s hard to put your faith in someone only to find out that you’ve been betrayed.
While it’s understandable to mistrust someone, don’t lose faith in everyone. The fact is, just because one person commits a crime doesn’t mean you should throw the whole town in jail.
There are a lot of decent and honorable people in the world. Rise above the situation by continuing to put your faith in the power of trust. You will benefit from one of life’s greatest gifts while disreputable people fritter that opportunity away.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
My husband is a hyprocrite,when he is with me he talks to me nicely but when he is outside with his friends he talks bad about me and blames me for things i havent done,and what pains me most is that i tolerate all his nonsense but he takes me for granted
Hi Siham
Your story is unfortunate. It’s hard for me to comment without knowing you or your husband. My hope is that you discuss this issue with him and come to a meeting of the minds.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
By far the best collection of descriptions of hypocrisy, thank you. I tend to be honest to the point of hurting myself, while watching others lie as easily as breathing and not give it a second thought… It’s scary really. I don’t believe that everyone actually has a conscience, or maybe they’ve trained themselves to not listen to that nagging thing, lol! Again, thanks for posting, and good luck with the general public =)
Thanks for your kind words, Kelly-Jean
I applaud you for your honesty. Never settle for anything else. After all, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
I’m above average intellect and I’m a very big hypocrite, I was stuck in a situation where I needed to believe and act out certain things to keep my life stable even if it’s not genuine.
(For reference I do them all on a regular basis except for 1, 5 or 18 (unless I’m absolutely sure I won’t get caught then saying one thing but doing another is back on the table))
I’ve gotten used to it so badly that it’s very subtle and nobody treats me different or call me out on it. It’s my way of progressing and getting what I want/need. However I seem unable to form Anny connections with people from it because I also do It with my emotions now and I’m very dissatisfied with that.
The same situation put me in a very lonely place and I need the few social points I get per week very much. This only reinforces the circle.
I’m trying my best and if I do these things I judge or blame no one but myself. I’m trying to meet new people so that I won’t feel the need to act all interesting and fun.
I guess I just needed to vent but I also have a question. What to do if being genuine with the people around you only gets you abandoned or even punished? Is there a pretty way out or should I just rip the bandaid off?
Hi Twan
I can’t give you advice on what you should do, but I can tell you what’s right for me. Here’s my philosophy …
I understand that you want to be admired and accepted by others, but it’s equally important to follow your heart and be true to yourself in the process.
If you’re not proud of who you are and what you stand for, you might feel compelled to put on a false front. In doing so, you might be able to fool others, but you have to answer to a higher authority — your conscience. That alone may dissuade you from veering off track.
You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.
It’s not always easy to listen to your conscience, do what’s right, and stick to your principles, but the reward for living with honor and integrity is huge. After all, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I was so self-centered and selfish until I realized today that all along the way I was the one who was hypocrite. I thought I loved God and was good and was living my life for him, but that was not true. I was lying to myself, I denied myself and even God. I’m sad but so relieved I found the truth. He pointed it to me through my relationships with atheists. I preach but I don’t do what I preach. I know I didn’t trust God to help me in my studies and that’s why I fail my tests now. God saw that and He wanted to show me that He won’t help me until I trust Him and change my life and change my thoughts and until I become who He wants me to be. Everything I did was so selfish. I was just trying to fit in with everyone and that’s why some people who are not christians cannot believe them. Because many christians are hypocrites – as I was and didn’t admit it. Now I admit it and finally I saw it for what it is. I cannot go on with my life like this. I have to make a decision and that’s because I was a lukewarm person and I needed to realize it for myself and God tried to point it out to me but I wasn’t listening I was so full of myself. Now I am convinced of my sin. In a big way. I am and was not a good example for people around me. I lived two-facedly. That’s why God couldn’t and didn’t bless me and my works. I want to thank Him and I want to thank you for this article that made me write this comment here on your page. I just needed to write it ,and let others who now read this now, know that sometimes people are selfish and to that extent that they may claim they’re christians but they only speak and they don’t practice what they preach. That was me. And I realized it and I see it now so clearly and I’m so angry with myself because I presented christianity and I thought I was a good example and that was not true at all. All I was doing all along was that I lied to myselff and others and God. That’s so sad and horryfying. Only God can forgive me. And only He can change my life for good. I had to admit it and see it fir myself. I was so stubborn and self-righteous, wow. I am so sick of my old ways. Horrible and two faced I was. I just can’t .
Hi Anna
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It doesn’t matter what you did in the past, what matters is how you live your life going forward. The important thing is that you have the will and the desire to make positive changes in your life. Bravo!
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
I know that we are have being an hypocrite in a way or the other. But I truly despise when people say one thing and do the other, like is it not just best for you to shut up! Or don’t involve anyone at all. Just lie to yourself alone and live it alone.
Hi Temmy
I wholeheartedly agree with you.
When you stand for the truth, everything you say carries the voice of credibility. When you prove to be dishonest, you’re not only disrespecting others, you’re letting yourself down.
Always tell the truth, or the truth will tell on you.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi Mr Frank, after reading some of these it makes me watch myself an my ways more I know I won’t always get it right but I think the most important thing is to recognize the failure have forgiveness in yourself an others an keep moving forward
You have a fantastic attitude, Dee. Bravo!!!
As I say, “The first step in winning is the willingness to try.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank