1. Airplane seats are NOT beds.
2. Why are you honking your horn? The light just turned green.
3. Are they practicing a monologue or leaving me a voicemail message?
4. They’re the first in line for a handout but last in line to give someone a hand.
5. I said you could follow up with me in a month. It’s only been a week.
6. “Hello? No, you didn’t wake me up.” (The phone did.)
7. Pleeeeeease resolve my problem before you try to sell me more products.
8. I’m glad you returned my call, but did you really think I’d be in the office at 9 pm?
9. I wish you had asked if I was busy before launching into a conversation. I was in a deep train of thought.
10. I can’t believe you went crazy because I was five minutes late. You didn’t think twice about keeping me waiting forty-five minutes last week.
11. Let me understand this…I’m going crazy to meet your deadline even though the work has been collecting dust on your desk for the past week?
12. Please cover your mouth when you sneeze.
13. If you wanted to talk to your friend, why did you go to the movies?
14. Don’t just step over the food that your kids left under the table––how about picking it up?
15. Do you speak to your friends the same way you talk to restaurant servers?
16. I bought cookies from your kids last week. Now you want me to buy wrapping paper from them too?
17. I think the whole town can smell the food that you’re microwaving in the office.
18. We really don’t need to hear your phone conversation. We know how much you love Debbie.
19. It would’ve been great if you said hello before asking for a favor. We haven’t talked in six months.
20. Couldn’t you wash your hands before going on my computer? There’s chocolate on my keyboard.
21. I know we’re friends, but I already have a broker.
22. Remember the DVD that you borrowed a few months ago? Do you still need it?
23. They don’t get it. We’re the customers. Our taxes pay their salaries.
24. But, you promised!
25. I wish her kids would call her Mom rather than Mary.
26. The reason take-out food containers have lids is so they can be closed.
27. If they spent less time complaining about having no time, maybe they’d get something done.
28. I understand you’re passionate about dieting. That doesn’t mean the whole world has to follow the same diet.
29. Why do bosses insist that they must approve everything when they’re unavailable to review anything?
30. I love it when people admit to not knowing anything about a subject, yet give their opinion anyway.
31. Why do airlines even bother giving you the expected arrival time?
32. Excuse me. Please stop chatting with your friend for a moment. Your child is heading into the deep water in the pool.
33. They talk a lot about the virtues of giving. When does the talk stop and the giving start?
34. The sign says, “No cell phones allowed” for a reason.
35. Please move out of the aisle. Other passengers are trying to make their connecting flights.
36. People who complain and complain and complain (and then complain some more).
37. Let me understand this. You want me to fill out paperwork before you’ll see my child in the emergency room?
38. I love it when my shoes stick to the floor at the movies.
39. What are they deaf? Didn’t the manager just say “no photography during the show”?
40. Sorry, but…honestly, we really don’t need it…we really don’t…really…sorry…no thanks. CLICK!
41. WOW! That’s so exciting. She just left a message on Facebook…she’s “going to Starbucks.”
42. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry to break up your conversation, but we’re all waiting to place our orders.
43. That cab driver just gave me a shower. I wonder if he saw the puddle.
44. She’s more interested in her cell phone conversation than in her driving.
45. Excuse me. The line we’ve all been waiting on starts back there.
46. My overnight package looks like they sent it through the washer and then ran over it.
47. This is a large ice cream cone?
48. Last week he told us to do the work one way; now we’re being chewed out for listening to him.
49. I spent five hours helping him and he couldn’t even find the time to say thanks.
50. I made myself crazy getting here on time and he’s late…again.
51. If she didn’t want kids, why did she have them? I’m sick of hearing her complain.
52. While she’s flirting with the cashier, we’re all waiting on line.
53. Big bonuses for executives. No raises for anyone else.
54. I love people who waste your time because they don’t have anything better to do.
55. Why’d you wait till today to say you didn’t understand the assignment? It’s due tomorrow.
Now it’s your turn…What drives you CRAZY?
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You REALLY think you’re such a good driver while talking on the phone? HANG UP AND DRIVE, or at least get out of the left lane.
Your dog just pooped. Pick it up and throw it away. No one likes doing it. Really.
Outdoor planters are not ashtrays.
Please don’t sit your diapered child on the restaurant table. Other people eat off that table.
WHY do I have to push “1” for English? My grandparents learned English bc they lived in America.
You keep asking me to repeat everything I say… Don’t you think it’s time to having your hearing checked?
You’ve asked me three times… What part of NO don’t you understand?
Enter your account number followed by the # sign, Enter your birth date, month first,followed by day and four numbers for the year, Enter the last 4 digits of your social security number, Enter your zip code… 10 minutes later and 168 characters… HELLO… I’m sorry we can’t speak to you regarding this matter because you’re not the primary account holder.
1) C-level executive: “Your going to love this.”
2) Office attire: Low low low blouses high high high skirts.
3) Poor poor me. And screw the people I’ve hurt.
4) Periods outside quotation marks.
5) LinkedIn requests from strangers with no connection (How about: “It was great meeting you Friday night at the library networking event.”)
6) Listening to the live audio version of the family Christmas letter and never being asked how your kids are.
7) Any word or action that emanates from any of the Real Housewives of Anywhere. Ever.
8) HR departments that don’t respond at all. Public relations, people.
9) Did you just break the copy machine? Well then, by all means, just walk away.
10) “Not my kid.”
Please tell me when you do the “Things I love” blog. I’m better at that.
Frank: My favorite is #23! Here are a few more…
1. I don’t care if you are late for work. Stop signs mean “stop” especially when there is a group of kids waiting for a bus.
2. If my call was that important to you, I would not be waiting on hold.
3. Why are you starting your sentence with “Trust me?”
4. If you looked down once in awhile, you might remove the stink bug from the kitchen floor so I don’t always have to do it (because I do look down.)
5. Why are you surprised that your kids is a liar, bully or cheat? Have you looked in the mirror lately?
6. If you want your school budget passed, try some transparency on for size.
Frank-now I’m on a roll…
7. With what I pay in health insurance, I don’t EVER want generic.
8. Are you going to cut a check to me for the hours I’ve wasted while I wait home (all day) for your appliance repair man to fix your faulty appliance (and then he never shows up)?
9. If you are suddenly giving out lots of tickets to town residents to raise revenue, don’t pretend it’s in the interest of safety.
10. It’s not illegal to use your turn signal in New Jersey.
And now I REALLY do need to get back to work!
Here are some I thought of off the top of my head:
I know you’d like to enjoy this religious service, but yoru child has been screaming for the past five minutes. God won’t mind if you left, and we would appreciate it.
The world is not your garbage can. Please do not toss your cigarette butts out the window of your car. You’re littering – and creating a fire hazard.
Please get your coupons together before you reach the cashier. Thank you!
If my call is so important to you, why am I holding for the past 20 minutes?
Yes, you have a very nice car. This doesn’t, however, warrnat you taking up two parking spaces.
Why must you drive your car into my lane suddenly,and prompt me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting you?
Your child has had a playdate at my house for the past 10 get-togethers. Isn’t it time to reciprocate?
I’m sure I will think of so many more in the next few minutes.
What drives me crazy – Complainers
Lisa, Patsy, Carole, Barbara, Rossana, Margie
Thanks so much for your comments. Your ideas are very clever . . . some funny. I wonder if the people we refer to are conscious or tone deaf how their actions affect others.
1) negativity
2) “ain’t”
3) when people make promises but then don’t deliver
4) passive aggressive “game” players
5) double negatives
6) laziness
1. Parents who are completely oblivious to what their children are doing while they are shopping/dining or anything else – you had them, YOU watch them
2. Use of “big” words when you don’t know the meaning or the context.
3. misprononuciation of common words such as “reelator” instead of “realtor” and “ideal” instead of “idea”
4. Slamming doors – a gentle nudge will close it just as effectively
5. Misspelled words, especially in print or on signs – have someone check it for you before you print it
Lauriana / Lisa
Thanks for your comments. I wholeheartedly agree. It just occurred to me that all of these items fall into two categories. 1) Unintentional errors that people make and 2) people who are lazy, rude and have a who cares attitude. In my mind the second group is much worse.
These are all so great! #48 I love and have have experienced many times.
Here are some that drive me crazy:
– People who speak to others slower, louder and in broken english just because they are foreign.
– People who pass you when walking into a building and then don’t hold the door open.
and my personal favorite, people who honk at you from 8 cars back as soon as the light changes green!
– Yes, it is probably all of our fault you are late to that one-in-a-million appointment you have so I deserve your SUV providing me ‘rear bumper support’ then careening around all of us responsible drivers like there is some sort of imaginary Running of the Bulls in progress none of ther rest of us can see.(see also: “It’s All About Me”)
— Sure thing. Just because it’s generally smaller than the size of a stick of gum, spent the last ten minutes in your mouth collecting the ugly end of a labrotory full of complex and hard to pronounce chemicals and now holds no functional purpose for you at all – a cigarette butt is perfectly fine to discard out the window of your car, flick from your fingers into the street, my yard, the path I’m jogging down, the seat I’m about ti sit in at the park – or anywhere you see fit. It’s all about you and anything that small can’t ever cause any real environmental damage, won’t ever add up to anything big, is never an eye sore and is not ever actually considered ‘litter’, right? The world is you ash tray! (see also gum).
– PLEASE don’t tell me you will get back to me in a day/week/month if you have no desire to see or hear from me again. I am a silly fool who still believes that most people still have the courtesy and respect of being sincere.
Thanks for your comments Marc. Much appreciated 🙂
Your third point really hits a nerve. “PLEASE don’t tell me you will get back to me in a day/week/month if you have no desire to see or hear from me again.” It’s wasting both of our time.
When you ask mom a question and she doesn’t say yes or no she just says we’ll see
Hello Yes or no question
When A Girl Flirts with ur Crush in school To make you mad
When someone mispronounces your name
People being really nice no matter, what drives me insane.How do they not swear or go mad?? It drives me nuts.