When you hear the word holiday, what comes to mind? If you’re like most people, shopping, parties, sales, and catalogs rank near the top of your list. The truth is, many holidays are becoming so commercialized that our proud traditions are in danger of becoming trivialized.
Many of us can’t even remember the true meaning of the holidays. Memorial Day has morphed from remembering our fallen soldiers to the unofficial beginning of summer. Labor Day’s role in recognizing the achievements of organized labor now just marks the end of summer and a return to school. Veterans Day is honored as a day off from work.
Traditions Matter
Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. They remind us that we are part of a history that defines our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become. Once we ignore the meaning of our traditions, we’re in danger of damaging the underpinning of our identity.
- Tradition contributes a sense of comfort and belonging. It brings families together and enables people to reconnect with friends.
- Tradition reinforces values such as freedom, faith, integrity, a good education, personal responsibility, a strong work ethic, and the value of being selfless.
- Tradition provides a forum to showcase role models and celebrate the things that really matter in life.
- Tradition offers a chance to say “thank you” for the contribution that someone has made.
- Tradition enables us to showcase the principles of our Founding Fathers, celebrate diversity, and unite as a country.
- Tradition serves as an avenue for creating lasting memories for our families and friends.
- Tradition offers an excellent context for meaningful pause and reflection.
As leaders, role models, and parents, we must strive to utilize every opportunity available to us to reinforce the values and beliefs that we hold dear. The alternative to action is taking these values for granted. The result is that our beliefs will get so diluted, over time, that our way of life will become foreign to us. It’s like good health. You may take it for granted until you lose it. If we disregard our values, we’ll open our eyes one day and won’t be able to recognize “our world” anymore. The values that support the backbone of our country, our family, and our faith will have drifted for so long that the fabric of our society will be torn.
This is adapted from Follow Your Conscience: Make a Difference in Your Life & in the Lives of Others By Frank Sonnenberg © 2014 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.
Additional Reading:
How to Pass Your Values On to Your Children
10 Critical Rules for Living a Happy Life
Moments Lost
The Greatest Gift Parents Can Give Their Kids
Freedom and Personal Responsibility Go Hand in Hand
Do You Take It for Granted?
The Glue That Supports a Healthy Social Fabric
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Your thoughts are truly inspirational. I feel enriched by each of your articles. .
Thank you so much, Mercy. I’m so glad you like it.
Best,
Frank
I love your info on tradition. I’m in a class where tradition is being taught, and without understanding the meaning of the word we will be lost. I believe this is an helpful piece of information, thank you so much, and God bless.
i found this truly useful. I was writing a paper for my freshmen high school class and it helped me a great deal!
Traditions, as a set of actively taught expectations, primarily provide means of division: we do this, they do that—aren’t they evil, inconsequential, less-than-human. The folly that is religion illustrates this well. The core principles do not differ significantly among the various flavors of Mosaic religions, but the traditions of practice serve to create violent divisions between Jew, Christian, and Muslim. Take away those traditions and the reason (if the word is appropriate in reference to so irrational a system of thought) for the conflicts evaporates. The “us v. them” mindset codified in traditions has underpinned the institutions of slavery, the Hindu caste system, and the oppression of women and minorities.
Sonnenberg’s suggestion that “once we ignore the meaning of our traditions, we’re in danger of damaging the underpinning of our identity” just misses the mark. More accurately, when we stop thinking about the origins and ramifications of our traditions we suborn our identities to mindless compliance with the status quo, and by extension, with those who benefit most from the status quo. When, out of unthinking compliance with tradition, mothers actively participate in the genital mutilation of their daughters, one can see the horrific power of unquestioned acceptance of tradition. Authority, and particularly authority that has become petrified in tradition, needs constant examination if we hope to avoid becoming the pawns of others. Without vigilance, traditions take over our identities and replace consideration with obedience.
Similarly, Sonnenberg’s praise for tradition as “an excellent context for meaningful pause and reflection” needs tweaking. Traditions typically limit such thoughtful pauses to a few occasions. How often do you really give thought to peace on earth—outside of the Christmas season (for those who adhere to that theology)? The rest of the year it’s live and let die. How many go to church on Sunday to prepare for a new week of ignoring the precepts they claim to hold dear? I imagine that those who need a traditional reason for thoughtful reflection use it to excuse the lack of it during the rest of their lives. Thoughtless yahoos do not become considerate because of traditional time of reflection; they just think they do. Tradition just cheapens the price of involvement.
Humans seem to need human contact for comfort, to a greater or lesser individual extent. However, a sense of belonging tends to result in the formation of out-groups: meaningful inclusion demands an excluded group. Traditions, as a human construct, reflect this. So while tradition “contributes to a sense of…belonging” be mindful that it also supports exclusion. Sonnenberg’s assertion that “tradition enables us to…celebrate diversity” does not ring true. Diversity finds celebration mostly in not belonging to the out-group: “Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman” (Jewish morning blessing—said by a man, of course). The threat of being ostracized from the in-group tempers the comfort of current inclusion.
Tradition, and again let me emphasize that I refer here only to the sort that is actively taught, such as religion, not the sort that emerges organically, such as eating at a particular restaurant every Wednesday, harbors dangers that Sonnenberg ignores in this article. Traditions have provided the excuse for the perpetration and perpetuation of terrible inhumanities and diminished the individual to a mere bit actor in life. While those who benefit from the outcomes—churches, males, warlords—naturally want the traditions to continue, the rest of us suffer.
I remain unconvinced that unquestioning adherence to tradition is a net good. Individuals can achieve everything Sonnenberg attributes to traditions through individual effort. You need not wait for Memorial Day to thank a vet, or wait for Thanksgiving to gather with your family, or Independence Day to celebrate the principles on which the USA stands, or New Year’s Day to think about the trajectory of your life, or a wedding anniversary to honor your spouse. Indeed, you may find, as I have, that turning from traditions and making conscious efforts to define my relationship with society on my own terms has provided a greater sense of satisfaction and meaning than I ever felt before. Try acting not in ways that have been defined for you but in ways you have defined for yourself.
Hi Kilroy
Although we are all imperfect, we must work together to make the world a better place for our children. I choose to build upon the good in the world rather than throw the baby out with the bathwater. To that end, I continue to believe that tradition plays an important role in our society. The truth is, tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
Best,
Frank
Exactly my thoughts and in reply to Franks short rebuttal – tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
People holding onto some form of tradition are the root of ALL intolerance Frank. I think you know this too but have committed so much time to this idea that its become an unwavering tradition of thought for you too.
The problem with tradition is that people who practice it also preach it. What you need to grasp is that Critical thinking is a tradition too, as practiced by the Stoics who make of point of NOT preaching.
Critical thinking isn’t valued in society outside of people who are tarnished as “elites” becasue its roots are humanism not, spiritualism.
Hi Bryan
My wife and I spent this past weekend with good friends. One evening, they shared photos of their family and took us on a stroll down memory lane. They have wonderful memories of raising their family.
Now their children are grown up, and have kids of their own. Traditions strengthen the importance of family, reinforce important values, and bring everyone so much comfort and joy.
If others don’t want to celebrate traditions that’s entirely their prerogative. But we shouldn’t rob this family, or anyone else, of celebrating the traditions that they hold dear.
As I like to say, “We can’t expect others to abandon their values any more than we would forsake our own.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi, Kilroy.
I just came across this site and your exciting contribution.
Your piece of comment holds some points. of course there are always two sides of every things in life, I believe that the importance of tradition out weighs negativity. There is good and the bad, the bright and dark, the harm and safety, the day and night, good and bad.
As bad and terrible as the the CoVID-19, there are benefits of it. it is our choices to determine what to see in and every situation or thing.
Tradition is culture that has been preserved and transmitted from generation to generation. Culture evolves, tradition endure. Like I believe we know, culture is a way of life of a people. It is the life style of a people. it is identify of a people. Therefore, culture and tradition are one and the same thing.
Every individual, family, society or Nation has culture. Some cultures are peculiar, but some cultural practices are similar to to other families, society or nation. No one’s culture is better than the other. Badness or goodness of culture is dependent on it’s adherence to God’s culture. It is wrong for any body to condemn other peoples’ culture, unless it contradicts God’s will for man.
God created man and gave him culture – way of living, After creation God said that every thing he created was good including man and his culture (Genesis 1:31). The fall of man corrupted him and his thoughts and actions hence the ungodly life styles but not altogether. In essence, there are many important values about tradition. and as stated by Frank, we should rather see the good and important reasons for Culture and tradition instead of focusing on the bad. . . .
Dear sir,I am very much inspired by your personal life,personality and specially by your thoughts,I often use your thoughts as examples,and my classmates started to say me philosopher.
Hi Lokesh
Thank you for reading my posts and sharing the thoughts with your friends. I hope to see you back again soon.
Best,
Frank
This gave me an idea about living my life because of my tradition and it has been going on for a long time that I’m proud of myself from being part of my tradition and living a good life with my family I learned a lot from this.
Hi Nykengela
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad that you found my words meaningful for you.
Best,
Frank
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaydis da best
Thanksssssssssssss 🙂
Traditions serve as a signpost for the whole world. We should always be thankful of those “holidays” like thanksgiving and new years for they give us time to stop and reflect.
You’re right, Louie. Holidays are an important fabric of life. Traditions can also be as simple as reading to your kids before bedtime, saying your prayers, or having pizza with your family on Sundays.
Best,
Frank
Frank, I read your article with great interest and fully agree with not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But I am at a total loss about how can I possible save the baby and just throw the bathwater which is indeed horribly dirty. While “Let’s keep traditions alive” sounds very nice and comforting, I have to agree with Kilroy’s views. With each generation, a heavy editing is required in traditions to make them a good thing for all concerned. In fact, I fully agree with your last comment that tradition can be something as simple as “Having pizza with your family on Sundays”. Which means that families and individuals should have the freedom to define their own tradition. But trust me, the way traditions degenerate and decay over time, even the pizza tradition can lose relevance or become outright harmful over time. I can fully imagine a scared daughter-in-law pushing the pizza down her throat out of sheer fear, even though she hates it and is fighting obesity. We must make it clear to future generations that they can dump a tradition if it does not bring them joy, and give them the freedom to define their own. Or else it just becomes a burden that needs to be dragged out of fear and guilt. And please can we all human beings stop getting upset with people who do not stick to “tradition”.
Hi Sonal,
The world may have changed, but the values that I hold dear have not. And while you, or anyone else, may feel that the”bathwater is horribly dirty” I feel that there is a lot of good in the world. My hope is that we build upon it.
One of the great things about this country is that we still have an opportunity to express our ideas freely. And I’m always willing to listen –– even if I disagree. That’s how progress is born. I hope, and pray, that everyone who “fights” for progress affords others the same opportunity. Thank you for voicing your opinion.
Best,
Frank
Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. The truth is , many holidays are becoming so commercialized that our proud traditions are in danger of becoming trivialized.
I agree with you Rakesh.
Best,
Frank
Frank I was googling why traditions are important for my New Years Card, and I had in my notes many of the same points you raised (in a much more eloquent way). I think people attacking traditions (specifically religious traditions) are missing the point of your article. The theme for my card is that traditions allow family and friends the ability to share as well as add to memories that those that came before them and those that will come after them have/will enjoy(ed) It’s a powerful, uplifting feeling, a way to give thanks, to remember and honor those no longer here and to be a part of something bigger than yourself. To me It’s like adding another little figure or scene to an ever expanding snow globe. It is built around a common core but it becomes inclusive of everyone who shares in it and it makes you smile when you shake it up and lose yourself in the memory of it.
Hi Lorraine
We send and receive Christmas / Hanukkah cards this time of year. It’s a wonderful way to keep in touch with folks and to show them that you care. As you say, “ [Tradition] It’s a powerful, uplifting feeling, a way to give thanks, to remember and honor those no longer here and to be a part of something bigger than yourself.” If people don’t want to take part in the spirit of the holiday season, all I can say is, “ Bah Humbug” I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a happy and healthy new year.
Best,
Frank
You are totally right Frank!!
Thanks Drake 🙂
in general, we say christian value forms part of tradional value. But with the increased number of immigrants from other culture, traditional value means different things for different group of people. Guess we need a different word other than “tradtion”
America was founded on Judeo-Christian values
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…”
Immigrants who came to America did so, in part, because they embraced the values of this great nation and sought a better opportunity for their families. The concept of America made us exceptional in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
I am writing a musical set in an Irish-American pub. First act, a long time ago. Second act, not long ago. Much of the action will be centered on traditions established and changed over time. I came upon your writings and I find them thought-provoking and relevant to my project.
The best traditions center on caring for one another. I find that I can enjoy and heartily take part in others’ traditions if those traditions center on caring for one another. Whether religion-based, secular-based, calendar-based, culturally-based… I find a bit of home in them. I feel both centered and yet growing. To me, this is how our traditions, though seemingly different, are the hope of unification of humankind
Thank you for your thoughts.
Hi David
It’s great meeting you.
You make a very good point…We should try to identify ways to take part in others’ traditions rather than allowing tradition to split us apart. As you say, “Traditions, though seemingly different, are the hope of unification of humankind.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Sir I am truly inspired by your thoughts you gave me another point of view to think about tradition and ritualistic
Thankyou
Regards
Omkar wagh
India
Thank you Omkar. I’m so glad you like the post.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
But will tradition hamper progress
Great point Omkar.
I believe that tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
This is just my personal opinion and I have no intention to create any offence.
This is a dangerous message to put across.
Mr Sonnenberg, I totally agree with the reasons you have identified for why millions follow tradition; for comfort and belonging, to recall heritage and find meaning. The problem arises is that tradition should not be utilised as a means to understand who you are as a person. Why? Because tradition is outdated, it does not take into consideration the current context, the present time and evolving climate around life. Why is this dangerous? Tradition + present life does not equal happiness is most cases, in reality, the most conflict I have ever witnessed amongst families and people is when tradition clashes with the real world. Sadly, those who adamantly hold onto tradition create the most conflict, due the inflexibility and lack of understanding and openness to new and better experiences.
The second, more important reason of the danger around tradition is the concept that it; ‘underpins your identity’. This is an oxymoron. The human mind cannot evolve if all we ever was did was continue on doing what we have done for many decades. The sad thing about this is when someone questions ‘tradition’ – the person who questions is left feeling as though they don’t belong. When in reality, the one who questions and decides their own principles and builds their own values is the one who is evolving. We should be teaching the younger generation to be brave, to question society, to learn from tradition and learn from mistakes. To develop their own sense of self, their own principles and evolve independently and be proud of this.
What really motivates people to continue on doing, acting out, thinking and behaving in ways that are outdated and irrelevant is out of fear. Society is afraid of not having something to follow, model, copy. Parents are fearful in what to teach their child, questioning if I don’t belong to this or that or follow this tradition, who am I? What is my child?
Encourage our children to be who they want to be, develop their independence and encourage questioning and curiosity and they will be happier for it.
Best Wishes.
As I said in the post, “Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. They remind us that we are part of a history that defines our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become.”
In that light, I choose to celebrate Mother’s Day to thank our Moms for their unconditional love, dedication, and support.
I choose to recognize our kids on Graduation Day for their hard work and effort and to mark a new chapter in their life.
I choose to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. He was a great man and role model who inspired the world and taught us the importance of tolerance and moral character, and brought civility to our public discourse.
I choose to celebrate our fallen soldiers on Memorial Day. The truth is, many people gave their lives for freedoms that others now take for granted.
While you may think that traditions are dangerous and outdated, I respectfully disagree.
Tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Frank…love your work on “values.” I am an educator working with folks with “addictive behaviors”…one of my presentations is on “values.” My sense is people have to understand and identify to what traditional and family values are before they can list them…and add to them for future growth and development. Do you have an article or book you could recommend to me…information (in your good name) that I could use in my informational handout, as well as in a PowerPoint. The tool used for SMART Recovery is an exercise called “Hierarch of Values”…great exercise, except there is no discussion on values prior to doing the exercise.
I am a SMART Recovery Facilitator…thanking you in advance.
Hi Will
I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for, but here’s where I’d start…
This blog contains over 300 posts on character, values and personal responsibility.
If you’re looking for a handout, my suggestion is to go through the posters on this site. They’re designed as handouts to reinforce key values.. (All posters on this site can be downloaded for free)
Here’s the link for your convenience.
https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/posters/
Please let me know if this works for you.
Best,
Frank
I am really impressed by your ideas and behavior. That is most sincere and inspiring thoughts I have ever read.
Ooh, My God, I am speechless
Thank You.
………………………………………………………….
Culture and custom are your identities.
Everybody has its own language, dance, music, and culture but some culture seems to be influential or “better” than our own ones. Then sadly we give up what’s was bestowed upon us and we will be left out. Instead of keeping secured what’s yours and top up with some of the best of others that you reckon you’ll be a plus.
Ali Orozi
Thank you so much Orozi. I’m glad you like it.
As I said, “Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture…. As leaders, role models, and parents, we must strive to utilize every opportunity available to us to reinforce the values and beliefs that we hold dear. The alternative to action is taking these values for granted. The result is that our beliefs will get so diluted, over time, that our way of life will become foreign to us.”
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Thanks so much for the knowledge shared, it is indeed an inspiration that reminds both old and young folks to value and protect their traditions. Frank I need your assistance, am writing on traditional objects and their significants I need books that will put me through I will be grateful if my request is looked into thanks .
Hi Deborah
Thank you. I’m so glad you like the post. I’ll give your request some thought.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I find this truly useful.I wrote an exam with the examples you gave me and you won’t believe me i got 100%.
THANK YOU.
My pleasure Edefo. I’m glad you found this post helpful.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
“Tradition reinforces values such as freedom, faith, integrity, a good education, personal responsibility, a strong work ethic, and the value of being selfless.”
“Tradition enables us to showcase the principles of our Founding Fathers, celebrate diversity, and unite as a country.”
Can’t tradition also reinforce negative values? Many of the Founding Fathers from southern states justified their ‘peculiar institution’ as traditional.
“Tradition contributes a sense of comfort and belonging. It brings families together and enables people to reconnect with friends.”
They can also be used to exclude. “Your traditions are different from mine. Mine are better and / or yours are wrong.”
Shouldn’t traditions be examined regularly to determine if they still provide the benefits you describe, or if they’ve become a hindrance to advancement?
Your point is well taken, Charles.
Just as we strive to better ourselves each day, a country can do the same. The best way to do this is to encourage free and open debate.
Debate encourages people to challenge viewpoints in a safe and open environment. This back-and-forth exchange exposes the strengths and weaknesses of an argument and emboldens everyone to either build on its merits or discard it. It also facilitates the understanding of opposing viewpoints and challenges everyone to consider various sides of an issue.
No one, however, is entitled to force their opinion on others.
The fact is, some folks shout down, bully, and belittle those with whom they disagree — all in the name of progress. You don’t win a debate by suppressing discussion; you win it with a better argument.
Tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Nowadays many people emphasize on the the word “tradition” saying it is an important aspect of our lives and that it must be preserved . However , it is really sad to know that only few great individuals are up to the challenge of preserving one’s culture and heritage. Well, l gotta say that you are one of those great individuals Frank . Never change.
Love,
Pema Khandu
Thank you Pema. I’m so glad you like it 🙂
Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. As leaders, role models, and parents, we must strive to utilize every opportunity available to us to reinforce the values and beliefs that we hold dear — no moment is too small or insignificant in the quest to convey the true meaning of the traditions and the values that unite us.
As I said, “If we disregard our values, we’ll open our eyes one day and won’t be able to recognize ‘our world’ anymore.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Thank you so much especially for family values
Thanks Kitbok. I’m glad you like it.
Values are the bedrock of our society. If we fail to promote the values that we hold dear, over time, our beliefs will be so diluted that we’ll open our eyes one day and won’t recognize our world anymore.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the importance of tradition. My 18 year old just informed me that we do not have any tradition except opening boxes of Christmas decorations only to put the decorations back in the box a short time after the holiday. After finding your article, I started to think of all the other traditions we do have that are not centered on just holidays such as going out to eat on payday, always displaying the America flag, letting kids pick a summer camp. I realized that we do have a lot of traditions. Traditions that build character like strong work ethic, core values of right and wrong, being thoughtful to others by saying “thank you” and a sense of belonging. Now with your article and patience I will try to reason with the child that has benefited from a core value system of traditions throughout her life. Thank you for sharing this.
I did ask my daughter why does the public education system hold culture events or nights if traditions of cultures is not important. She has yet to respond.
Thanks again.
Hi Mellissa
As you know, I view our traditions as more than gift-giving during the holidays. For example, some people may:
Go out for a bite after the high school football game.
Eat dinner as a family.
Invite best friends over on Saturdays.
Call the grandparents on Sunday evening.
Celebrate a good report card by cooking a special dinner.
Name a child after an ancestor.
Give to the homeless shelter around Thanksgiving.
Think about loved ones on the anniversary of their passing.
The list can be endless. The key is that traditions add something very special to life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi my name is Arjun I am ten years old this really has inspired me thank you for writing this I would definitely read more of your writing
Hi Arjun
I’m so glad the post inspired you. That’s awesome 🙂
I hope to see you back again soon.
Best,
Frank
I’m so glad to see your response.I do one page of writing everyday and your writing help me to write a page about tradition . Thank you very much
That’s wonderful Arjun .
The more you practice the better you’ll become.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Many people now emphasize loyalty to and remembrance of their own culture and traditions.
Do you agree that it is important to remember and stay true to your culture, heritage, and traditions？
Hi YunLing
I believe that it’s important to honor your culture and tradition. That said, while it’s important to celebrate your heritage, we should never allow it to separate us from others. After all, we are all part of the human race.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I agree that tradition can be comforting and enforce values
but t traction can be anathema to society by extolling bias, prejudice, and lies
Hi Joan
While you may think that tradition extolls bias, prejudice, and lies, I respectfully disagree.
As I said in the post, “Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. They remind us that we are part of a history that defines our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become.”
The world is changing every day. If enough people create a ripple for positive change, we can create a better future. Your choice: Complain about all the things that are wrong or be the person who helps to make them right.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank