Who contributes more to a household, the person who washes the dishes or the one who takes out the garbage? The person who cooks dinner or the one who does the laundry? The main breadwinner or the one who spends more time with the kids? If you think keeping score in any relationship is petty, you’re right. But it happens every day. Unfortunately, this sort of rivalry can breed resentment, jealousy, and even anger. Do you do your fair share?

Keeping score in any relationship is a losing game.

When you keep score, the focus shifts from the contribution that you’re making to nitpicking someone else’s level of involvement. When that happens, who’s doing more takes center stage. If you think this routine is a waste of energy, you’re right.

Are You a Team Player?

There are many ways that you can give of yourself — working hard, assisting financially, giving someone a well-deserved break, volunteering to take on more, providing emotional support, or giving your time.

The presumption that everyone’s contribution should be equal is seriously flawed.

First, people don’t always see eye to eye on the value of their contribution. While you may think you’re contributing a lot, it may pale in comparison to what others are doing. That can happen if a task is difficult for you but easy for others. In that case, they may value your contribution less.

Additionally, some activities are difficult to quantify — and downplayed as a result. For example, what’s the value of a positive and upbeat person or someone who provides emotional support? If something can’t be measured, is it less important? In addition, is a career more important than ensuring that your home functions properly? The truth is — they’re both important.

Teamwork is an essential component of achieving success. When individuals work together toward a common goal, it leads to better outcomes. Here are 10 ways to foster collaboration:

Set expectations. Agree what needs to get done, the best person to do the job, and an understanding of each other’s expectations. That way very few things should come as a surprise.

Play to each other’s strengths. Know your strengths and volunteer to do things that capitalize on them. The same holds true for others.

Accept menial work. There’s always a thankless job that must get done, but nobody wants to do it. Share in that effort.

Work as a team. Instead of complaining and criticizing, channel your energy into getting stuff done.

Be reasonable. Never make demands of people that they can’t deliver.

Strike a balance. Make sure to focus on both the short and long term, meet people halfway, and do your fair share.

Keep your paws off. Do you push people away because you’re a control freak — and then complain that you’re doing all the work yourself? If you want to encourage ownership, don’t micromanage.

Get on the same page. One of the primary sources of arguments is lack of communication. As Mark Sanborn, the bestselling author, said, “In teamwork, silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly.”

Do your best. Failing to achieve something is excusable; failing to try is not.

Do things for the right reason. When you do something nice, do it quietly. When you give of yourself, never rub it in someone’s face or expect something in return.

Do Your Fair Share

If you feel guilty reading this, it’s time to get with the program. After all, if you’re not doing your fair share, you’re forcing others to accept the burden. When you take people or things for granted, you put them in jeopardy. It’s not enough to make up for neglect after they’ve slipped away. Do your fair share today.

Physical presence is not the same as being there.

Being a team player means identifying what needs to get done, being sympathetic of what others are doing, and giving willingly of yourself without expecting something in return. In healthy relationships, you place others’ interests ahead of your own and they do the same for you — no questions asked. There isn’t a formal agreement. The commitment is much stronger. It’s called a relationship — and it’s where you share, grow, and benefit together. Of course, you will have periods when you take on more responsibility, and periods when others will do the same for you. Over the course of a lifetime things balance out! Will it work out evenly? Probably not, but that’s the point. The joy is in the giving. As Helen Keller said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”

Check out Franks NEW book, Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others

Are You Doing Your Fair Share?

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Additional Reading:
Good Relationships Don’t Keep Score
Are You Selfless or Selfish?
Do You Have a Strong Work Ethic?
What Does It Take to Show a Little Kindness?
Selfish People Are Losers
Win-Win Business Relationships
Relationships: A Marriage Made in Heaven

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