Would you use voicemail to fire someone, recite your marriage vows in an e-mail, or end a romantic relationship via text? –– Of course not. But unfortunately, these communication media are used inappropriately every day. The fact is, each form of communication — face-to-face conversations, telephone calls, social media, e-mails, and texting — has its advantages and disadvantages. So, if you’re partial to one communication medium simply because you’re comfortable with it, you’re likely to get burned. When it comes to communication, one size doesn’t fit all. So, call me . . . maybe.
What Are You Trying to Achieve?
Before you select the right communication medium, there are many factors to consider: Is the subject matter important or trivial? Are there specific goals for the conversation or are you merely keeping in touch? Is the communication urgent? Is the subject matter sensitive? Will one person or several people be involved? What’s the availability of your contact(s)? Will everyone be in the same time zone? Will the communication be primarily one way (a directive) or is dialogue necessary? Is there a need to keep a written record of the exchange?
Face-to-face conversation. There’s nothing like a face-to-face conversation for building a relationship, discussing sensitive information, or making sure that everyone is on the same page. Face-to-face conversations enable you to look into someone’s eyes while they’re talking, hear the inflection in their voice, and observe their body language. But meeting individually with several people may be costly and logistically difficult to engineer. That’s where telephone calls and video chats come in.
Telephone calls and video chats. If you’re catching up with busy people in various locations, telephone calls and video chats are very efficient modes of communication. Plus, when the subject matter is important, or sensitive items are discussed, these modes facilitate two-way dialogue. The fact is, being able to hear voice inflection and sense the sender’s intent helps to avoid misunderstandings that can occur with written communication. A video chat takes it one step further and allows you to pick up on nonverbal cues — crossed arms, raised eyebrows, and even smiles. But I can assure you that no one’s sitting around waiting for your call. So, advance notice is a good idea, or the person you are trying to reach might not be available to talk when you call –– think phone tag. If you do reach them without prior notice, it’s always polite to ask if you’re calling at a convenient time before launching into your conversation.
Social media. Remember how easy it was to keep in touch with friends when you were in college? You’d see folks on campus, in the student union, cafeteria, or library — or even in class. Of course, when everyone went their separate ways, it became harder to remain in touch; that is, until social media hit the scene. Now, you can make new friends and stay in touch with old ones around the world –– from your living room.
Social media makes it easy to exchange small talk, share an article or video, or join a discussion group. And you can choose to be an active participant or remain a fly on the wall. But remember, if you are conducting a sensitive conversation or ranting about an issue close to your heart, your five hundred closest friends may be listening in. Furthermore, who knows who else has access to the information? Many people think that once a post is deleted, it’s gone from the Internet. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Your digital footprint follows you everywhere and can catch up with you one day.
E-mail. When you write an e-mail, you can make sure that your message is “perfectly” worded before hitting “Send.” And the recipient can read it at their convenience –– alleviating telephone tag. In addition, e-mail provides a record of the conversation if you think there will be a need to refer back to it at a later time. But e-mails can create misunderstandings because you can’t hear the tone of the sender’s voice or see their body language. In fact, it’s common to think the sender had an attitude or was angry when the e-mail was written, which could be the furthest thing from the truth. On the other hand, when conversations take place in person or by phone, questions can be answered and misunderstandings clarified. The bottom line is, e-mails are great if you want to build your relationship with your pen pal, but they won’t do much to strengthen a friendship.
Texting. If you have an urgent request, want to remind someone to bring home milk, or let someone know that you arrived at your destination safely, think about texting. But it’s less than optimal if you’re using texts to conduct a serious conversation or trying to explain something in detail. Plus, although it may be a convenient time for you to send the text, unlike e-mail, the recipient receives it instantly and you may be interrupting the recipient during a busy time.
The bottom line . . . According to UCLA research, 55 percent of meaning in an interaction comes from facial and body language and 38 percent comes from vocal inflection. Only 7 percent of an interaction’s meaning is derived from the words themselves. This is confirmed by MIT research that says it is advisable to use electronic communication, such as texting, tweeting, and e-mail, only to transmit and confirm simple information.
Better Communication: A Wake-up Call
Please don’t get wedded to one communication tool just because you’re familiar with it. Today, you have many tools at your disposal. Each one has its strengths and weaknesses. And, just as it’s critical to package a great idea properly if you want it to be well received, choosing the right communication vehicle will have as much impact as the message itself. That’s why the next time you have something to say, you have a choice: Give thought to the best way to communicate your message or spend your time doing damage control afterward.
So, call me . . . maybe.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Additional Reading:
May I Have a Word with You
ACTIONS Speak Louder Than Words
The Values on Which Trust Rests
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Frank, another insightful and informative article! Thank you for emphasizing that one size does not fit all when considering the best mode of communication. I’m afraid that technology has helped many forget that we must remain audience centered and considering the mode of communication is a part of that. Unfortunately, the ones who need to hear this message are likely too busy talking and typing rather than listening and reading.
Hi Jennifer
Thanks for dropping by. You’re absolutely right when you stress the importance of being audience centered. That’s a very important lesson to learn.
I believe the problem stems from generational factors, knowledge not keeping pace with technology, our inability to change and yes . . . laziness.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Frank- Complex topic. Some of us are better speakers and some prefer to write. I like to be able to compose an email, edit and then hit “send”. It’s more difficult to “edit” spoken words 🙂
I also think there is a huge generational issue. While my parents still write letters, my children prefer to communicate via text. Where does that leave us baby boomers?
Hi Barbara
You’re absolutely right.
My goal in writing this piece was to show the strengths and weaknesses of each communication medium. (And, to demonstrate that one size doesn’t fit all) I am definitely aware that there’s a generational issue. I believe our learning curve will improve over time. Sometimes we forget how young these technologies really are.
Have an awesome day.
Best,
Frank
Good Morning, Frank,
A very provoking article for me. It seems that so many people today prefer to communicate by electronic media. I become so frustrated by it at times, that I don’t turn on my computer for days. Sometimes I just pick up the telephone and call – it is still a great way to communicate and a lot warmer and friendlier. I guess my age is showing.
The best to you always – hummm this is communicating via the electronic media.
Hi Kathy
It’s great hearing from you. You’re not alone. I believe people are both excited and frustrated by electronic media, but, it’s here to stay. Part of the problem is our reluctance to embrace change. As they say, “The only one who likes change is a wet baby.”
Best,
Frank
As you know how I feel about this topic. I cannot help and say KUDOS to you!
You did a great job on expressing your thoughts on a very difficult topic.
Life is changing and it is changing in ways we may not even like.
What seems as inexcusable years ago is the norm now.
You have given us thoughts and ideas to think about.
THANKS so much for sharing.
Lolly
Hi Lolly
I think everyone is a little frustrated with these new forms of communication. We’re all trying to figure it out while we’re using it. That’s like driving 65 MPH while trying to fix a tire. (Yikes!) My hope is that we don’t trade relationships for convenience .
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Another incredible post Frank. I am continually amazed to see people trying to “do business” over email. How can I overcome an objection if that very objection leads my prospect to not reply to my email? Back when I was CEO of my company we had a hard rule: “Never negotiate, sell, or do business over email.” Thanks for a wonderful post. Hope the whole world reads it.
Hi Augie
You raise a valuable point … When you sell something via e-mail you lose a valuable opportunity to answer customer objections. That can make the difference between getting and losing the sale. Furthermore, when you present a great idea via e-mail it’s hard to generate the same enthusiasm as if you presented the idea in person.
Thanks so much for your thoughts, and for furthering the conversation.
Have an awesome day, my friend.
Best,
Frank
You did a great job trying to unwind a difficult topic for most of us.
Communication is hard, even at its best.
Pay attention to your audience and your message, and you can’t go wrong.
Hi LaRae —
Thanks for your thoughts.
It’s clear by the comments, that many people find this issue frustrating. It’s comforting to know that we’re not alone.
You’re right, “Pay attention to your audience and your message, and you can’t go wrong.”
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
I read your post with interest Frank. Thanks. I am from your generation and avoid texting as much as possible simply because I am slow. As a professional therapist tuning into body language is critical for me. A problem I run into is not getting a response from my kids unless I text. Phone messages seem to lay dormant or are forgotten while text messages are responded to immediately. Of course this is family business, but I wonder about generational differences with regard to the topic.
Hi Dan
Ah yes . . . “The problem I run into is not getting a response from my kids unless I text.”
Believe me, you’re not the first person who said this. Texting is a great communication medium, but it does have its limitations.
“Text” the post to your kids and ask what they think 🙂
Thanks again for your thoughts Dan.
Best,
Frank
Frank,
I am always amazed how you come up with so many relevant topics and develop them clearly yet thoroughly.
I’ve recently started at a new company where I’m one of the older ones on my team. We have a few strong team members who are fairly ripe out of college and I find some of the communication contrasts you mention to be very valid.
Despite their talents and smarts, I doubt that they had a concise teaching on the lessons that you shared above. They flock much less to personal communication (f2f and phone) and email even when it’s much less efficient and fitting to do so.
How you describe what most of us experienced with Social Media (being ‘new’ to us as professionals and a way to stay in touch with those at college we used to see all the time, etc) is something that has always been on the scene for most new grads.
I received FB ‘friend’ requests from 2 members of my team (a few days!) before they walked up to greet me personally. It made me laugh, politely restate my personal policy that I don’t ‘friend’ current co-workers and made me want to forward to them your post “There’s More to Friendship Than Friending”.
(I didn’t though!).
I know this gap of communication preference b/w generations (kids/parents) is even greater than the one I depict and the gap will possibly get greater as we advance technology. I can only hope that this lesson you shared is continuously taught in schools and obeyed in the real world by more of us. Thanks again!~
Thanks for your thoughts Marc. I always look forward to your comments.
Do you really think this stuff is being taught in school? I hope so, but I think not. Unfortunately, this lesson will be learned through strained relationships and lost business. My hope is that folks begin to learn the strengths and weaknesses of these communication mediums and adapt them to their personal style. The other folks… They’ll learn too –– the hard way.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Best,
Frank
I was intrigued with the story yesterday that Coca Cola has become the latest major company to turn off voicemail at company headquarters. The story mentioned that they are moving more toward texting for communication.
I have mixed feelings. I personally hate voicemail as audio is so much less efficient from a scan/search/reply/archive standpoint. But obviously if you can connect on the phone, a conversation is far, far more efficient than email. So I always try to call, but if there’s no answer I almost never leave a voicemail – I send a concise email that they can then analyze/reply/save/etc. I think literally the only voicemails I’ve received (or left) in the past few months are from our team!
But the other thing the article mentions is the age/generation thing, and my wife is living this as someone taking grad school classes with students half her age. They do not use their phone for talking, and they do not use email. ALL of their communication is via text, even when they are practically standing next to each other. Drives my wife nuts. They are texting nonstop literally 24/7, and I even had to increase my wife’s plan to unlimited so she could communicate with her classmates. Literally dozens if not a hundred texts a day, but they’ve shared probably a total of 10 emails all semester, and zero phone calls. I don’t get it, and it doesn’t work for me, but that’s how the younger generation is used to communicating. Maybe that’s what Coke (and those other big companies that are ditching voicemail) are seeing.
Hey Kevin
I didn’t hear about Coca Cola. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
I absolutely understand what your wife is saying. (Why send a text when a person is right next to you … right?) I don’t understand why some folks adopt texting at the exclusion of other forms of communication. I believe each one has advantages and disadvantages.
I do believe there’s a generational thing going on. I have to believe it’ll provide some very powerful lessons one day. Stay tuned.
Thanks for taking the time to write and advancing the conversation.
Best,
Frank
Hi Frank!
Thank you for another valuable article. As you point out, each communication medium has its advantages and disadvantages, and each generation is particular about what medium they prefer to communicate with others.
While nothing can replace face-to-face communication, we need to adapt as technology evolves. Technology isn’t evil as some people tend to think, it’s the use of technology that can be evil.
Ivette Caballero
Hi Ivette
Your point is well taken.
Most people spend an inordinate amount of time creating content and little time choosing the communication vehicle. I believe we shouldn’t be wed to any particular communication medium — each one has its advantages and disadvantages.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank