We make commitments every day. They can be simple or life-changing — from simply promising to complete a task to making a lifelong commitment such as becoming a parent or asking for someone’s hand in marriage. But do we take our commitments seriously?
Some folks make commitments at the drop of a hat, thinking they can walk away from the obligation if they change their mind. Don’t they understand that commitments come with responsibility? Don’t they care that they may be hurting someone they care about? Don’t they understand that their actions have consequences? If the answer is yes, why don’t people honor their commitments?
Broken Promises. Broken Commitments.
Commitments often fail because people:
Lack personal responsibility. Some people make commitments too easily. Then, as soon as the wind changes direction, they head for the exit.
Make a minimal commitment. Some folks are afraid of getting hurt so they dip their toe in the water rather than jumping in.
Play the field. Some people don’t like to be tied down. They’d rather settle for several superficial relationships than one meaningful one.
“Jump ship” for a better offer. Some folks are opportunists. They’re always on the prowl for a better situation.
Look out for number one. Some people are strictly out for themselves. These selfish folks have a hard time making a commitment that requires even minimal sacrifice.
Keep score. Some folks treat a relationship as a competition. They can’t stand being on the losing end, even for a short period of time.
Make too many commitments. Some people can’t find the words or courage to decline a request. They end up breaking their promise; one that they never felt comfortable about making from the start.
“Chicken out” during tough times. Some people have no character. As soon as something goes south, they’re nowhere to be found.
Do You Understand the Meaning of Commitment?
Here are nine ingredients of a successful commitment. Use them as guideposts through your life.
Go all in. Think twice before making a commitment. Once you do, take the plunge rather than making a half-hearted effort.
Honor your word. Accept responsibility. When you make a commitment, you’re giving your word and putting your honor on the line. Act like it.
Expect the best. Put your complete trust and faith in the promises that you make. That will encourage you to focus on long-term potential rather than seeking immediate gain.
Keep the relationship front and center. Focus as much on the journey as on the end result. Never sacrifice the relationship for results.
Give first. Give with an open hand. The odds are high that your deed will be reciprocated. But remember, there’s no need to keep score.
Make yourself vulnerable. Be honest and transparent. That will promote a healthy, trusting relationship.
Demonstrate your loyalty. Live up to your promises in good times and bad. Tough times say a lot about us. Make sure they say only good things about you.
Watch each other’s back. Promote opportunities where everyone wins. Focus on their best interests and have faith that they’ll focus on yours.
Think as one. Build together, grow together, and win together. It’s that simple.
Is Your Commitment as Binding as a Contract?
People are way too quick to make commitments and too quick to abandon them. When you make a promise, you’re not saying I’ll give it a shot, you’re saying, I’m all in –– and nothing less. When you make a commitment, you’re not saying you’ve got more than I’ve got, you’re saying I’m so happy that you’re happy. When you make a commitment, you’re not saying I’ll honor my responsibility when times are good, you’re saying count on me to be at my best when times are worst. The truth is, when you make a promise, you’re not giving your word in erasable pencil, you’re inscribing your commitment in indelible ink.
Making a commitment is serious business and not something to be taken lightly. When you make a commitment, you’re not only keeping your commitment for their benefit, you’re also keeping it for yourself. That’s because your honor and self-respect hang in the balance. What’s that worth? Everything! Be very careful about making commitments and always be faithful in keeping them.
What Do You Think?
Additional Reading:
Broken Promises, Broken Commitments
Honor: Your Word Is Your Bond
Are You Reliable Or a Flake?
Honesty: The Plan and Simple Truth
A Promise Is a Promise
Live With Honor And Integrity
The Values on Which Trust Rests
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Great thoughts, Frank. I think personal responsibility if the foundation of right relationship. I also find it to be an increasingly elusive character trait in people that claim to be leaders. Keep up the good work
I agree with you Bret.
Leadership is more than having a fancy title and making eloquent speeches; leadership is about results. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is a leader in name only.
On a personal note, if we don’t accept personal responsibility for our actions, who will? It’s easy to blame the world for our failings. But as I like to say, “If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see … don’t blame the mirror.”
The bottom line is, if everyone swept in front of their door the world would be a cleaner place.
Best,
Frank
Frank,
Thank you for the article. I was good to read those reinforcements about commitment. I remember two things about commitment as a child and now as an adult. As a kid, my mother told me, that my word was my bond and it was all that I had. As an adult learner, today being the last day of graduate school for me, commitment became a requirement. School required me giving my all, giving it my best. Thank you again for the reinforcement!
Hi Phil
Your comment shows why it’s important to instill proper values in our kids. I applaud your Mom for her wise words and you, Phil, for making those words an integral part of who you are.
Best of luck to you, (Although you won’t need it)
Frank
Hello Frank,
I think commitment is the beginning of all actions. We have to be commitment to start something and be successful with it. It’s sad that people don’t know the value of being commitment and they are more like what you said when they say yes means ‘maybe’ and not “I am all in” as a committed person will say. Unfortunately, nowadays the value of the word is low and that’s why people can promise everything and we believe them.
Regards,
Daisy
Hi Daisy
You’re right on the mark when you say, “commitment is the beginning of all actions.” Go all in or don’t do it at all. As Zig Ziglar once said, “It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.”
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank