Did you ever wonder why some people are so mean-spirited? It’s one thing to get up on the wrong side of the bed and quite another to live your life that way. Some folks argue with people, chew them out, and make fun of others like it’s a sport. And even though it’s obvious that these folks are toxic and belligerent, their victims take the words to heart and think they’re to blame — undermining their confidence.

Don’t get me wrong. I know it’s nerve-racking to get assaulted by their mood swings. But the truth is that their behavior says a lot more about them than it does about you. So don’t get down on yourself when nasty people get angry, are offended, or are envious of your success. That’s their problem, not yours.

10 Signs of a Toxic Person

Destructive people insult, belittle, and bully others. Folks like that are:

Self-centered. Some people think the world revolves around them. They don’t care how their actions affect others.

Inadequate. Some folks have low self-esteem. To compensate for their insecurity, they build themselves up by tearing others down.

Power hungry. Some people want you to know who’s boss. They go out of their way to browbeat you to make you feel inferior and to keep you in your place.

Self-doubting. Some folks need to be the center of attention. They think that showing off, by mocking people, will win the admiration of others.

Intolerant. Some people are unwilling to listen, much less accept, opposing viewpoints, beliefs, or lifestyles. They’re likely to show disdain if you think or behave differently than them.

Insecure. Some folks feel threatened if you challenge their opinions. Instead of seeking the truth, they’re likely to get defensive, shut down debate, and attack you personally.

Manipulative. For some people, having strong beliefs and values is not enough. They need to weaken your resolve and make a convert out of you.

Jealous. Some folks feel slighted by the success of others. Rather than being happy for your hard-fought achievements, they’re likely to lash out at you, because you came out on top.

Nasty. Some people get a rise out of bullying and mistreating the weak and vulnerable. It’s all a game to them.

Unprincipled. Some folks grew up in a household where being intolerant and/or disrespectful was the norm. They treat others poorly because they don’t know better — even though they should.

Embrace Positivity in the Face of Negativity

It is so important to have a positive mindset when you’re confronted by destructive people. Instead of internalizing their negative emotions, remember that their attacks reflect their own issues and insecurities, not your shortcomings.

Here are six steps to deal with people who undermine your confidence:

Keep your cool. Don’t let the offender dictate how you feel. Try to be rational rather than emotional.

Remain above the fray. Don’t snap at the offender or get down to their level. That’s what they want. As George Bernard Shaw said, “I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

Keep things in perspective. Just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. You have the option to ignore the remark or discretely laugh it off.

Tell them how you feel. If the offender plays a significant role in your life, let them know how they made you feel. They may be unaware of their behavior or how it affected you.

Exit the situation. You don’t have to accept abuse from anyone. Period! Politely excuse yourself from their presence.

Say goodbye to repeat offenders. If someone repeatedly mistreats you, limit the time that you spend with the offender.

Control What You Can and Let Go of the Rest

There will always be people who’ll try to boost their confidence at your expense. Embrace the fact that you cannot control how others behave, but you can control your response to them. By not allowing their negativity to bring you down, you liberate yourself from the unnecessary burden that you shouldn’t have to bear. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

LISTEN UP …  Listen to Your Conscience. That’s Why You Have One is now available as an audiobook. Check it out on Amazon, Audible, or iTunes.

Do You Let People Undermine Your Confidence?

Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.

Additional Reading:
How to Bring Out the Best in People
Are You Enthusiastic for the Success of Others?
Surround Yourself with Top-Notch People
Believe That You Can, and You Will
Some People Have No Shame
Change Someone’s Life and You May End Up Changing Yours
50 Signs That You’re a Train Wreck

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