Do you know anyone who has a big ego? They constantly blow their own horn, fight to be the center of attention, and believe they’re always right, even when they’re not. They think they know it all, steer every conversation their way, and believe that the world revolves around them. Right? In fact, they have such an inflated view of themselves that they can’t wait to tell you how wonderful they are and how successful they’ve become. They may have everything in the world going for them, but the egotism is tough to take. (Ugh!)
If you recognize yourself in this description, is your confidence turning into egotism?
Many people buy into the common misconception that confidence and egotism are the same thing. The truth is, confident people believe in themselves and their abilities, while egocentric folks have inflated opinions of themselves and care only about their personal interests.
Being successful is great, but having a big ego can be a detriment to that success. It can tarnish your relationships, restrict your personal growth, weaken your leadership performance, damage your career advancement, and the list goes on.
The more you try to impress someone, the less impressive you become.
Keep Your Ego in Check
Having confidence is important, but it’s critical that it doesn’t turn into egotism. Here are 16 ways to keep your ego in check.
Challenge yourself. Strive to be the best you can be…and then be a little better.
Surround yourself with talented people. Surround yourself with exceptional people. Don’t view them as a threat. Let them challenge you to be your best.
Give up control. Have faith in your colleagues. You can’t do everything yourself.
Make yourself vulnerable. Send signals that you don’t know it all. Achieve this by asking for help and soliciting input from others.
Identify weaknesses. Solicit feedback to help address your personal deficiencies and mistakes. But remember to act on that input!
Share credit. Acknowledge others to demonstrate that it takes more than one person to achieve success.
Get real! Accept praise and the good feeling that it brings, while remembering that you are no better than anyone else.
Keep yourself on your toes. Don’t let your guard down and become complacent. It’s easier to maintain momentum than to rebuild it once it’s lost.
Earn respect. You can’t demand respect, you earn it.
Remember your roots. Think of all the people who contributed to your success. As you climb your ladder, reach down and pull others along with you.
Be discreet. If you do something nice, do it quietly. You defeat the purpose when you boast about your generosity.
Listen to your friends. Real friends will always give it to you straight. Your job is to listen up!
Reflect on your behavior. Rein in your ego by listening to your conscience.
Be modest. If you’re really good, people know. There’s no need to blow your own horn. Your ego should never be more than one-half of your accomplishments.
Laugh at yourself. See the humor in everything. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Recognize the impermanence of everything. Nothing lasts forever. As Vince Gill, the American county singer, said, “Success is always temporary. When all is said and done, the only thing you’ll have left is your character.”
Check Your Ego at the Door
The purpose of this essay is NOT to denigrate success. If your success was earned through hard work and honesty, never apologize for it. BUT, achieving success doesn’t say as much about you as how you choose to wear it.
Those who serve arrogance as their main course will eat humble pie for dessert.
When you reach your goals, there’s no need to brag about your achievements or rub your success in the face of others. Instead, take a moment to smile inside so that you’re the only one who can see it. You don’t have to win the applause of others because you’ve already attained so much more — self-respect and inner peace. Bravo! You can hold your head up high knowing that your hard work and commitment paid off. There’s no need to boast about your achievements because acting with humility and grace says volumes about you.
Is Your Confidence Turning into Egotism?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Be Humble: Don’t Let Success Go to Your Head
The Costs of a Big Ego
Complacency: The Enemy of Success
Should Your Viewpoint Matter More Than Mine?
Moral Character Matters
Counterfeit Leadership
The Danger Signs of An Inflated Ego
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Francine Ling says
Loved this post Frank! Your work is so inspiring. I have shared this my family. Words to live by. Thank you!
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thanks so much, Francine.
One of the highest compliments that you can pay me is your desire to share my thoughts with your family. Thank you!
Thanks for taking the time to write
Best,
Frank
Camilla Gerner says
Thank you Frank for a very thought provoking article.
As usual, you raised some very good points! Keep up the good work in providing inspiration.
Camilla
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thanks Camilla. I’m so glad you like the post 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Shilpi Gupta says
Dear Frank,
Thank you so much for writing on a vice that needs our reflection and discussion. Also, in my personal struggle with ego, I’ve often felt that more than a sign of confidence crossing over, ego represents a deep void in our feeling of self-worth. It manifests as an outward overcompensation for the inward ‘supposed’ shortcomings. And maybe dealing with ego, also begins with us dealing with our own insecurities.
Hoping to continue with this self-reflection and looking forward to reading more!
Frank Sonnenberg says
You make a very interesting point, Shilpi. Some people have big egos to overcompensate for lack of self-worth. The fact is, their focus is misplaced.
Boosting one’s public image won’t help when the problem is self-image.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank