It’s so easy to say please and thank you — yet some folks don’t seem to bother. The fact is, some folks are rude and ungrateful; all they think about is themselves. Others never learned basic etiquette and are oblivious to the way people should behave. Still others have adopted bad habits and don’t even realize how they come across to others. While you may think that saying please and thank you is a mere nicety, failing to do so is more significant than you think.
It costs nothing to say please and thank you.
But forgetting those magic words can cost you everything.
When you say please and thank you, you’re displaying kindness and respect. While that’s a sign of proper manners, that’s only half the story.
When you make the effort to do small things well, you’re much more likely to do big things well. That’s because taking pride in what you do is habit forming. And it spills over to other areas of your life.
On the other hand, when you neglect small things — you guessed it — you’re developing poor habits. Therefore, every time you break a promise, neglect your appearance, fail to answer an email, forget a special occasion, treat authority with disrespect, tell a lie, show up late, use foul language, or raise your voice, consider the significance of your actions or inactions. They may come back to bite you one day.
Poor Habits Are Hard to Break
If you want good habits, it’s important to master the small things. Here are six considerations to keep in mind:
Take pride in yourself. Conduct is habit forming. When you do something repeatedly, your behavior becomes automatic. But remember, practice doesn’t make perfect if you’re doing it wrong.
Be retrospective. Look in the mirror. Ask yourself, are you doing your best? If not, today is a good time to start.
Follow your conscience. While you may question whether or not to do something inappropriate the first time it occurs, given another opportunity, you’re less likely to question it. Give that some thought.
Be accountable. Make good choices. You have the freedom to choose, but you’re not free from the consequences of those choices.
Raise your game. Ask folks for feedback. It’ll keep you on your toes.
Surround yourself with positive role models. Behavior is contagious. When enough people behave poorly, their actions are no longer viewed with contempt. In effect, immoral behavior can be considered acceptable over time.
Wrongs committed by enough people become the norm.
Master the Little Things
Some people ignore the small things, like please and thank you, because it’s easy. Others neglect small things because they’ve gotten away with it in the past. While most small offenses don’t attract a lot of attention, over time, the cumulative effect of these transgressions is significant — and as a result, the bar is lowered.
In addition, if you don’t face consequences for misdeeds, you’re much more likely to push your luck — and try to get away with something bigger the next time. While poor behavior may not have caught up with you yet…it will. So, if you think you’re getting away with something, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Most gamblers think they’re winners until they lose.
The next time you have an opportunity to say please or thank you, bear in mind the importance of those phrases. Those simple words are more than pleasantries; they’ll influence the way you address other areas of your life. When you do small things well, you’ll fall into the pattern of taking pride in the other things you do. Ask any superstar. It’s not enough to do your best on game day. You must master the fundamentals during practice, day in and day out. If you want to make it big, remember to do the small things well.
Do You Say Please and Thank You?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
What Does It Take to Show a Little Kindness
Mind Your Manners
It’s Time for Grown-Ups to Grow Up
Are People Invisible to You?
Take Ownership By Taking Responsibility
Do You Listen to Your Conscience?
The Consequences of No Consequences
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I am so encouraged by this! Yes, I say please and thank you ALL the time, and I’m sorry too…
Reading this has stretched the importance to more than good manners, and THIS is what has encouraged me!
so, THANK YOU!!
Thanks Caroline. I’m glad you like the post.
It’s great that you subscribe to the magic words. Good or bad manners say volumes about you and your upbringing. Manners show politeness and demonstrate an awareness of self-worth, respect for others, and a desire to fit in.
With regard to saying, “I’m sorry,” I wrote a post a while ago that you may be interested in. “Never Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Unless You Mean It.” The truth is, a sorry apology can add insult to injury. As I say in the piece, ”An apology shouldn’t be a knee-jerk reaction acknowledging that you hurt someone. An apology should be a statement of remorse with an explicit promise that it won’t happen again. That means more than going through the motions of saying ‘I’m sorry’ — your words must be authentic and coupled with a real desire to change.”
Here’s the link in case you’re interested in reading it 🙂
https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/never-say-im-sorry-unless-you-mean-it/
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I came to this blog via a class project and I am very glad that I did. The values demonstrated here are the values that I was taught as a child, sadly, those values are quickly disappearing. I try imparting them to my own children but the tide of peer pressure seems stronger.
Thanks for sharing these values, Frank!
Peace…
maQ
Hi MaQ
I’m so glad your parents passed proper values on to you AND that you feel a responsibility to do the same for your kids. As I say, “Behind every good kid are parents who understand the importance of raising them that way.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I am old school and please and thank you come naturally for me. After reading this It made me think. I don’t do it for me, but to make others feel good and appreciated. Why is it so hard for others to say it, but you taught me it’s a habit we aquire with time. Wow, never looked at it that way. Going to check out your Don’t say I’m sorry unless you mean it. Thank you sir for helping the few of us who want to better ourselves so we may be a blessing to others. Karen
Hi Karen
I’m glad manners are important to you 🙂 As the essay says, “When you do small things well, you’ll fall into the pattern of taking pride in the other things you do.”
Conversely, some folks with poor manners offer the excuses, “I never learned” or “I don’t have the time.” Yet others, with huge egos, may think, “I’m the boss. Manners don’t apply to me.” The fact is, it doesn’t take more effort to show your appreciation nor does it require more time to be pleasant. Good manners help make folks feel good about themselves, as well as help make others feel good about you.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank