Some people try to appear honorable in order to win the admiration of others. Although this may be true, they have it all backward. The real benefit of being honorable isn’t in how others view you, but rather, in how you view yourself. When you live with integrity, you don’t have to worry about inconsistencies, remember what you said to whom, or play games. There’s no need to fear embarrassment, no need to hide in the shadows or to live in shame. When you live with honor, you’re comfortable in your skin and totally authentic. As former Senator Alan K. Simpson said, “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.”
12 Ways to Live with Honor and Integrity
People with honor share twelve characteristics. They should be treated as guideposts in your journey through life:
Value integrity. Recognize who you are and the values that you aspire to. Provide others with the confidence of knowing that your intentions and actions are always genuine. Be prepared to compromise your viewpoint, but never your principles.
Be true to yourself. In staying true to your beliefs, be sure to do right by others and to always take the high ground. Trust your instincts rather than seeking validation from others. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Keep good company. Surround yourself with honorable people. Support each other. Allow them to serve as role models and sounding boards that inspire you to become a better you. And look for ways to help others grow in honor and integrity.
Be confident. Don’t let your behavior be influenced by others who do not share your values; hold yourself to a much higher standard –– your conscience. Your character is on display every moment of every day. Make sure it reflects well on you and causes people to feel proud to call you a friend.
Do what’s right. Make good choices. Follow the spirit as well as the letter of the law. At the center of the United States Military Academy is the Cadet Honor Code, which states “A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.” Care not only about where life is taking you, but about how you’re getting there as well.
Be honest and transparent. When you stand for honesty, everything you say carries the voice of credibility. But when you’re dishonest, your soiled reputation will do the speaking for you. The fact is, honest people never fear the truth.
Honor your word. Every time you make a promise, you put your honor and integrity on the line. Keeping that promise should be as important to you as it is to the recipient.
Be loyal. Meaningful relationships don’t happen by chance. When you live with honor, people know your behavior is reliable, your heart is in the right place, and your word is as good as gold.
Accept personal responsibility. Be prepared to accept the consequences of your actions. Knowing what’s right isn’t as important as doing what’s right. Be aware that yours will not always be the most popular road traveled.
Be resilient. Hard work and sacrifice build character, contribute to success, and promote happiness. It was this very reality that moved the former baseball player Sam Ewing to observe, “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
Make a difference. Be a positive force in people’s lives. Make people feel special; bring out the best in them; help them without expecting something in return; be genuinely happy for their achievements. The more you do for others, the happier you’ll be.
Live for a cause greater than yourself. Find your life’s purpose. It will inspire you, keep you grounded, and provide stability regardless of the turbulence in your life. Most of all, living life with purpose will motivate you to get up in the morning and make your life meaningful.
Do Yourself the Honor
There’ll come a time when temptation will come knocking at your door. It’ll promise you riches or something equally as grand. Don’t surrender. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. It’s sad to say that some people will give in to a moment of weakness and spend the rest of their lives regretting it. They’ll rationalize the situation by thinking “What are the odds of getting caught?” Or they’ll say, “Everybody does it,” “It’s only one time” to help them sleep better at night.
But the question remains, what is your honor worth to you? The answer is that it’s priceless. What’s more valuable than being able to look into the mirror each day with a clear conscience? As the author H. Jackson Brown, Jr., said, “Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” Equally important is that you will respect yourself. One of the true tests of integrity is your refusal to compromise your honor at any price. Can your integrity be bought?
Do You Live with Integrity?
Additional Reading:
Moral Character Matters
ACTIONS Speak Louder than Words
Be Humble: Don’t Let Success Go to Your Head
Reputation: You Can’t Run From Your Shadow
Take Ownership By Taking Responsibility
Courage: No Guts, No Glory
Do You Have a Strong Work Ethic?
What Does Your Name Say About You?
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I read these when my community was being betrayed by her supposed leaders. Most of the elders and chiefs were being influenced by dishone st people. After reading these I realised that they are being influenced by monetary gains.
Hi Royal
I’m glad this post shed some light on your situation. The truth is, it doesn’t really matter why people are dishonest, the problem is that they are. These folks are dishonoring themselves as well as letting others down. I’m afraid they’ll live to regret their actions one day.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi Orville.
I’m so glad this post resonates with you. I wrote a piece for young graduates that may be appropriate here. I ended it by saying, “Some of the most important things in life are invisible. Even though you can’t see, touch, or smell them, they’ll have an overriding impact on you and on those around you. They are the intangibles, such as love, trust, integrity, respect, and faith. Even though they’re invisible, learn to appreciate and nurture them. They are invaluable.
One day when you’re old (yes…over 40), you may pause and ask yourself the question: “How did I do?” Here are clues to the answer: Have you learned that happiness is as important as success? Do you care not only about where life has taken you, but about how you got there? Do you care whether you’re living a life of purpose? At the end of the day, everyone on this earth was born for a reason, what’s yours?”
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
PS Here the link if you’d like to read the whole piece. https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/the-best-graduation-speech-never-given/
I came across your blog while searching for a good definition for being honorable when my blended family of four (4) years finally moved under a single roof for the first time. Your words are the most succinct compilation of all my life lessons. I printed out your blog and taped it to the main entrance of our new home and there it has remained for over a year. While I made everyone in the family read it once, I continually refer to it and text out references to it.
I took on the task of raising two (2) teenage step-kids that did not have the benefit of a structured background, and while I know all the lessons you write of, I just did not have the words. Thank you for helping me convey the role model words of wisdom I sought for my new family.
Your blog is our creed!
That’s terrific, Andy. I’m honored.
It’s great that you’re teaching these lessons to your kids. It says a lot about you and will serve them forever. As I say, “Behind every good kid are parents who understand the importance of raising them that way.” You are the embodiment of those words.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Great stuff! May I share this article on Facebook?
Sure Josephine. Thanks for asking 🙂
Best,
Frank
Frank,
I live by your words daily and spreading them beyond the family. I preach and teach them to all who will listen. I get great feedback and thank’s for sharing your words of wisdom and the link to this blog. Just letting you know you are racking up royalties in heaven for your work making earth a better place.
May your life be filled with peace, contentment, love, and good health!
Andy
Hi Andy
Every once in a while I receive a comment that touches my soul. This is one of them.
Thank you for your kind words and for spreading the word that moral character matters.
As I say, ”Complain about all the things that are wrong with the world or be the person who helps to make them right. One person can make a difference and that person is YOU.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best.
Frank
Well said and insightful Sir.
Thanks Jimmer. I appreciate it.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Great article on being honorable something we rarely see in today’s society!! Thanks
Thanks Tracey. I’m glad you like it.
As I Say, “Moral character is the DNA of success and happiness.”
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Excellent. I wish us Muslims take the wisdom from here.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad said :Wisdom is the property of the Believer. Wherever he sees it he should snatch it.
Keep up the promotion of good.
👍
Thank you Imraan. I’m glad you like it.
As I say, “Moral character is the DNA of success and happiness.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Frank,
Living with Honor and Integrity is the only way to live in my humble opinion. This message is straight up!
Thanks Ron. I totally concur with you.
A life of honor offers abundant rewards; a life of dishonor comes at a very steep price
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hello. It seems at least once a year someone appears on this site. It is great to see that you answer everyone. This is very respectable, thank you. I got here by watching 47 Ronin, and reading the story of this event. The next thing i searched for was “most honorable way to live”, and this site was at the top. And since every action has an important reason, i know there must be some specific reason i found this. So maybe you might aid me in finding out why i am here?
I am ready to be of use, if needed, basing all my actions on kindness and fairness only. Maybe,This, is the “boat” which will be the vessel in the sea of life, the purpose we all look for, and the fleet will become larger and stronger.
Thank you for your outreach, reminding everyone how to live with honor.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I write about moral character, personal values, and personal responsibility. I hope that you find the information on this site helpful as you search for your purpose in life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Thank you for answering. May i ask–what is your goal in creating this site and content–because intelligent people already know what this life is for, others, who are still young in their actualization, will not know how to practically live a life based on virtue and truth… How can people in need of answers find this site if they do not know what question to ask the internet? I ask this with all respect and only interest, in how you understand this.
Thank you kindly.
My mission is simple: to reawaken our commitment to moral character, personal values, and personal responsibility.
FrankSonnenbergOnline has attracted over 4 million readers. In addition, it has been named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.”
It’s important to note that this is not a business; it’s my passion. I simply want to make a difference.
That being said, I’ve been contacted by parents, educators, religious leaders, coaches, management professionals, etc. They are using these posts as simple reminders and as training handouts, and also as required reading to promote character, values, and personal responsibility. I encourage everyone to share these posts with others who can benefit from the information.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank