In a world where time is a precious resource, we often draw conclusions without examining all the information that’s available to us. We rely on shortcuts, such as someone’s reputation, to simplify the process. Did the job applicant have a good reference? What did my neighbor say about the contractor? How was the restaurant review? In short, we place tremendous value on credible sources to help us make decisions every day.
What Are People Saying About You?
Your reputation is like a shadow, following you wherever you go. You can’t disguise it, you can’t hide from it, and you certainly can’t run from it. It will follow you for life. And although it’s said that you can’t be in two places at the same time, you actually do it every day — your reputation serves as your stand-in whenever you’re not around.
Your reputation can be your best friend or worst enemy. It can open doors to marvelous opportunities or ensure that every door is slammed right in your face. What does your reputation say about you? Does your “shadow” promote you as an upstanding individual or drag you through the mud?
A moving target. Your reputation is constantly evolving. Over time, the cumulative observations of your words AND actions form the basis of your reputation. And it’s not only what you do but also how others perceive your motives that often counts most.
Your reputation can be influenced by such behavior as:
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Was your joke at the office party in bad taste?
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How did you treat the employee after the infraction?
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Was your Facebook post inappropriate?
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Were you tactful in lodging the complaint?
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Do you get along with your peers?
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Did you help your colleague when he or she was in a pinch?
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How do you treat your pet?
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Are you a fair-weather friend?
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Do you play office politics?
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Can you keep a secret?
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Are you a team player or merely out for yourself?
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How do you react under pressure?
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Were you gracious in accepting the award?
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Do you accept responsibility for your actions?
What do you stand for? Your reputation is much too valuable to treat casually. But if you don’t know what you stand for, you’re leaving it all to chance. Take 10 minutes to get to know the real you. When you look in the mirror every morning, are you happy with what you see? How would you define your values and core principles? What matters most to you in life? Are you the kind of friend that you’d want as a friend? How would you define the “ideal you” compared to the real you? If you were tasked with writing your obituary today, what three things best describe you? If you don’t like what you see, don’t blame the mirror.
Consistency is key. When your behavior is steady and reliable, your actions become predictable. This enables people to form an impression of you and anticipate future behavior. As time goes on, any deviation from your normal behavior is characterized as an anomaly or that you’re having “a bad day.” On the other hand, if your behavior is erratic and unpredictable, you’re sending mixed messages and leaving your reputation open to confusion and misinterpretation.
There’s no excuse. While it takes significant time and effort to build a solid reputation, you can destroy your standing in the blink of an eye. A flaming email, a sarcastic remark, a neglected “thank you,” or a missed commitment is all it takes. For the most part, people are very forgiving if you make an honest mistake or act out of character on occasion. But when improper actions — such as lying, cheating, or stealing — are repeated or intentional, however, your reputation suffers. Even if you offer a heartfelt apology after a transgression, it can still take considerable time and effort to recover.
News travels fast. In years past, reputations were formed primarily through word of mouth — and that continues to remain true today. The difference is that we’ve migrated from one-on-one conversations to social media (such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn), which spread news to thousands of people around the world at the click of a mouse. Furthermore, the Internet makes news permanent. Once bad news starts to snowball downhill, it can take a Herculean effort to slow the momentum. For that reason, nasty rumors and gossip must be addressed head-on before irreparable damage takes place.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Many people ask if a tarnished reputation can be repaired. The quick answer is yes, BUT don’t expect to achieve success overnight. A tarnished reputation takes time and complete honesty to repair. The only way to mend your reputation is by rebuilding trust in small increments. Baby steps help others connect the dots and build bridges between your actions. On the other hand, aggressively trying to change your reputation often ends up doing more harm than good. Significant, “overnight” changes in behavior can defy credibility and cause others to be more suspicious than trustful of the “new you.”
Your Reputation Shadows You Everywhere
Protect your reputation like it’s the most valuable asset you own. Because it is! You can’t escape your shadow, but you can shape your reputation. Here are seven actions that you can take to build and defend your reputation:
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Values matter. Operate with integrity at all times. Do what’s right. Period. That way, you’ll never have to look over your shoulder to see who’s watching.
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Stand for something. People crave consistency and predictability. Maintain the strength of your ideas and principles.
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Take pride in what you do. If you’re not proud of what you’re doing, either you’re not finished yet, or what you’re doing is not worthy of your best self.
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Accept responsibility for your actions. If you wouldn’t be proud to see your words or actions in a headline, don’t say them or do them. If things go wrong despite your best intentions, don’t hide out. Face the music with an apology and your plan to do better.
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Think before you act. Count to 10 before losing your temper, sending a flaming email, or making a caustic remark — or you may live to regret it.
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Be a good-reputation ambassador. Help others build and sustain their reputations by acknowledging their good works, by modeling good behaviors yourself, and by never engaging in reputation assassination.
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Let your conscience be your guide. Your character matters most when no one is looking.
People love their toys. They safeguard their precious cell phones, cars, and computers, even though they’re replaced every few years. Your reputation is uniquely yours and remains with you for life. Every time you make a move throughout your life, your shadow (or reputation) moves along with you. Sometimes it even stands in for you in your absence. Remember, whenever your name is mentioned or your presence is noted, your reputation is not far behind. Make it reflect well on you.
What Does Your Reputation Say About You?
Additional Reading:
How to Repair Your Reputation
What’s More Important, Perception or Reality?
What Does Your Name Say About You?
What’s Your Personal Brand Worth?
Are You Blurring the Line Between Right and Wrong?
15 Simple Ways to Destroy Your Career
20 Choices that Will Determine Your Destiny
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Peter Borner says
Frank, another thought provoking post, thank you. I am deep into your new book, Managing with a Conscience. It is a great read and I woul recommend everyone that follows your blog go out and buy a copy.
Peter
Leyane Jerejian says
Great post Frank! Another fantastic reminder that we affect this world, its people, and our reputations with the things we do and say, the things we don’t do and don’t bother to say, and the way we carry ourselves.
Love #2 What’s that saying?.. Stand for something or fall for anything..
Susan Mazza says
Very rich exploration of the subject of reputation Frank. In reading this it occurred to me that if you are focused on protecting your reputation it’s probably time to go back to the basics and get clear about what it is you stand for. Our reputation is not something to hold onto or protect once it has been created, but rather something we create every day with every choice we make.
Justin F. Blum says
The true test of one’s reputation is to be able to maintain that good reputation even during adverse times. I experienced a blood clot following prostate surgery on the 26th of January. If my doctor did not send me directly to the emergency room of one of the local hospitals in Florence, SC , there was a very good chance the clot would not have been treated in time and I could have easily died. This was my recent reality and it make me think long and hard about certain things in my life. First is not to take anything and especially anyone for granted and appreciate all that is in your life looking at everything and everyone in a positive light! Secondly, do not be complacent about the above view on life. I am now prone for blood clots and will be on cumudin for the rest of my life. Therefore, what occurred on the 26th of January could easily occur again given the same conditions. Therefore, I should never forget what COULD have happened!
Marc says
“And although it’s said that you can’t be in two places at the same time, you actually do it every day — your reputation serves as your stand-in whenever you’re not around.”
I value my reputation greatly and yet I never thought of it quite like this. This was an amazing post – truly one of my favorites. I can’t wait to share it!
Christopher Avery says
Wonderful essay Frank. Thank you. Your words remind me of an old communication principle: “Your communication is the response you get.” Applied to your notion of a reputation shadow, what it means is that what comes back to us is pretty much a reflection of what we put out.
An example: A few years ago as I began dipping my toes into the world of internet marketing I “learned” that long-form sales letters full of hyperbole were the way to go. So I added some long drippy sales letters to my website. Yes it pushed me out of my comfort zone, and it also challenged my integrity — I ignored or did not discern the difference. A year later when a half-dozen people were kind enough to say to me “Christopher I love your work and message about responsibility but your marketing makes me want to run away” I got the message. I’m happy to say that I have since found a marketing voice that is in integrity with me and my message and my reputation is restored.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Peter, Leyane, Susan, Justin, Mark and Christopher
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Peter, Thanks for your kind words for my book. And, I really appreciate your thoughtful comments on my posts.
Leyane, I love your comment, we affect our reputations by “the things we do and say, the things we don’t do and don’t bother to say . . ”
Susan, Well said! (paraphrased) We wouldn’t be spending our time protecting our reputation if we FIRST bothered to think about what we say and do.
Justin, I am so glad that we reconnected after all these years. I am so impressed with what you’ve accomplished . . . being named “volunteer of the year for the state of SC in 2010 and being named the Great Comebacks Tony Snow Award Winner for Public Service.” I’m honored to call you my friend.
Marc, Thanks for your all of your encouragement and support. It means the world to me.
Christopher, you’re right on the mark! It also says a lot about you, that your friends feel comfortable delivering tough news.
Have a great day!
Frank
fatma says
I learned something very important from your article frank, something that troubled me for a very long time! about myself, my behavior, how to behave when and where? with who?
honestly i am unpredictable but genuine too, people talk so much about me, they keep on judging without knowing who you real are! but then we cant stop people from talking and making assumptions.
thank you for opening my eyes!
Frank Sonnenberg says
Hi Fatma
I’m so glad that this piece resonates with you.
One of the key ingredients of trust is consistency. In that regard folks don’t care if we wake up the same time each day or watch the same programs on television. They do, however, care if our words match our actions and we don’t waffle with regard to our beliefs.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Have an awesome day!
Frank
Obedi says
Happy for the much educative post. Wish to read a follow up post on how to rebuild or repair bad reputation or got some strategies for that.
Thank you
Frank Sonnenberg says
Hi Obedi
Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad you liked the post. I keep a running list of potential articles. I’ll add your suggestion 🙂
In short, some people think they can rebuild a reputation though aggressive action. I don’t find that to be the case. Trust is established over time, gradually, through a long chain of successful experiences. Although trust takes a long time to develop, it can be destroyed by a single action. The only way to rebuild trust is to earn it. That doesn’t happen overnight. The fact is, trust must be carefully constructed, vigorously nurtured, and constantly reinforced.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank