When the subject of manners comes up, most people think about how to behave at the dinner table. Some behaviors that come to mind include chew with your mouth closed, refrain from reaching across the table, and leave your cell phone in another room. In addition, folks think about such niceties as saying please and thank you, giving up your seat to someone, and cleaning up after yourself. And yet, even though people care so much about how they’re viewed by others, they overlook the impression that their manners make.
In short, manners are a simple way to cultivate respect, build positive relationships, and create a hospitable community. However, even though it doesn’t take much effort to behave properly, it’s simply mind-boggling what some people do in public. I say that because good manners are a choice. And some people choose no!
If manners say a lot about people, what do they say about you?
15 Behaviors That Drive People Up the Wall
Some people show a complete disregard for others. All they care about are their likes and dislikes, their personal needs, and their comfort. It’s as though they live in their own world; completely unaware of others around them. One would think they act this way because they don’t know better, but many of these people simply don’t care.
That’s the thing that confounds me. They work hard to make a good impression. And yet, they flush that effort down the toilet by being impolite and inconsiderate.
According to an unscientific poll, here are the top 15 behaviors that drive people up the wall. If you’re guilty of doing these things, you may want to reevaluate your behavior…
Do you:
Groom yourself in public? Do you clip your nails, floss your teeth, or clean your ears in public, or do you do those things in private?
Forget to pick up after yourself? Do you clean up after yourself, or expect others to do it for you?
Shout across the room? Do you approach someone when you’re talking to them, or do you raise your voice to be heard?
Have poor hygiene habits? Do you have healthy self-care habits, or do you have body odor, bad breath, unwashed hair, dirty hands and fingernails, and soiled clothing? (Yuk!)
Treat people like second-class citizens? Do you treat everyone with dignity and respect, or do you look down your nose at people?
Talk on speakerphone in public? Do you take calls in private, or do you talk on your cell phone in close proximity to others?
Invade people’s personal space? Are you aware of how your behavior impacts others, or do you do such things as smoke in someone’s home or walk barefoot in the office?
Show up chronically late? Do you arrive at appointments early or show up late — hopefully with an apology? As the saying goes, “If you show up on time, you’re late.”
Cough and sneeze without covering your mouth? Do you cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze or do you willingly spread germs.
Cut in line? Do you wait your turn or think that rules don’t apply to you?
Refuse to pull your weight? Do you watch people work their tail off or do you jump right in and work alongside them?
Eat like a slob? Do you chew with your mouth closed or can people see and hear what you’re eating a mile away?
Take things that don’t belong to you? Do you borrow things and return them promptly, or do you only return them when asked?
Let your kids run wild? Do you discipline your kids when they do something wrong, or do you let them do anything they want — unsupervised?
Communicate poorly? Do you know how to have a balanced conversation, or do you interrupt the speaker, dominate the conversation, and attack people for their opinions?
Good Manners Make a Great Impression
Some things in life don’t require an explanation — manners are one of them. It all comes down to whether you care about the needs of others or only yourself. People aren’t going to tell you that you’re ill-mannered, but I can assure you they notice. What does your behavior say about your upbringing, your respect for others, or you as a person? As Mehmet Murat Ildan, the Turkish playwright, said, “Good manners open the closed doors; bad manners close the open doors!” What impression are you leaving?
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Do You Make a Good Impression?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information
Additional Reading:
It’s Vital to Say, Please and Thank You. Here’s why…
With All Due DISrespect … Clean Up Your Act
Mind Your Manners
Why Are People So Surprised When Someone’s Polite?
Are Role Models Becoming Extinct?
The Consequences of No Consequences
Living the Golden Rule
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Richard Feller says
Frank – another excellent blog!
My observation is that it is easy to violate, without consciously thinking about it, one or more of these dysfunctional behaviors you have reminded us about – such as talking on the cellphone close to others.
What do others think – or is it just me?
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thank you, Richard
It’s important for people to think about their behavior. After all, it not only influences your personal image, but it also impacts others in the room.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
Lorelei Colbert says
Let’s hope for more manners around the holiday table this week! Thanks for sharing, Frank.
Frank Sonnenberg says
You’ve got that right, Lorelei
As you gather around the holiday table this week, take note of how many of the 15 behaviors you observe 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank