If you’re a parent, it’s time to act like a parent. If you’re a leader, then lead. If you want to be treated as an adult, then act your age. If you’re a politician, remember you weren’t elected to merely show up; you have a job to do. And if you’re not happy with your standing in life, don’t fault others. Success and happiness begin and end with personal responsibility.
Take Charge of Your Life
Personal responsibility puts you in the driver’s seat to make the most out of your life. You have the freedom to choose the direction that you want to take, determine the choices that you’ll make, and decide how hard you’re willing to work to achieve your goals. The key is to personally “own” your life, rather than abdicating the responsibility to others. The fruits of your efforts are yours as well, to keep or share, to invest or spend.
Personal responsibility needn’t be a burden. It’s a blessing when you assume complete responsibility for your life’s successes and failures (and we all experience some of each). But hard work and commitment are required. If you want to lose weight, start with diet and exercise. If you want money for retirement, begin with a commitment to saving. If you want to be successful, you must possess the knowledge, integrity, work ethic, and determination to win. Unless you believe in the tooth fairy, no one’s going to wave a magic wand to make it happen for you (but that doesn’t stop people from trying).
Get Motivated
Some people think that life is a spectator sport. They sit on the sidelines and expect to be rewarded for the hard work and effort of others. Of course, if something goes well, they line up to receive the accolades. And if things go south, they make excuses or find a scapegoat to pin the blame on. It doesn’t (or let me say, shouldn’t) work that way. If you’re not willing to make the personal investment and sacrifices required to be successful, then don’t complain if/when you don’t achieve your goals.
The American Dream is built on a very simple premise: If you take a chance and you succeed, you reap the rewards of your success. If you take a chance and you fail, you have to face the consequences. Of course, there’s no guarantee that just because you’re willing to work hard for something, your success is a sure bet. But, by accepting ownership rather than abdicating your responsibility, chances are you’ll get closer to your goals.
The fact is that the world doesn’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you must earn it. It begins with a positive attitude. Here are some principles to get you on the right path:
It’s your choice. If you want your life to be different, change it. If you’re waiting for something to happen, it won’t without your efforts. It’s not enough to think about what you want to do (or worse yet, complain). Get up and do something about it! As someone once said, ” ‘I must do something’ always solves more problems than ‘something must be done.’ ”
Believe in yourself. One of the things that may be holding you back is lack of self-confidence. If you don’t have the confidence in yourself, why should others? It may be time to invest in yourself so that you’re proud of who you are and what you represent.
Raise your game. What additional skills do you need to achieve your dreams? Take an additional course, read a self-help book, find a great role model to emulate, and turn every experience, especially failures, into a learning opportunity. If you’re not learning something new each day, you’re becoming obsolete.
Actions have consequences. Think before you act. Then accept responsibility for your behavior. Do you intend to finish school? Do you discipline your kids? Do you listen to your doctor’s advice? Are you saving for retirement? Do you text and drive? Do you blindly follow others? Remember . . . you own your choices. The decisions that you make have consequences.
Be accountable. Give everything 100% effort. When things go well, accept your well-deserved rewards, and when they don’t . . . oh well. Don’t point a finger if/when mistakes occur –– admit fault, learn from your mistake, and move on.
Be self-reliant. Everyone gets into a pinch once in a while and may need a helping hand getting back up. That doesn’t translate into a life of dependency. If you break a leg, use crutches for a few weeks to get back on your feet. But you shouldn’t lean on the crutches forever.
Failure is a part of life. As Vince Lombardi once said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.” Accept failure as a part of life. As we said earlier, learn from it and move on.
“Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” Some people see the glass as half empty. They’ll tell you all the reasons why you may fail. The truth is, they’re holding you back. Successful people face the same obstacles as everyone else, but the difference is in their attitude. Surround yourself with positive people; their energy is contagious. As James A. Baldwin once said, “Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.”
You get what you deserve. People should be rewarded for exceptional performance, not for merely showing up. This provides an incentive for everyone to work hard AND work smart. Don’t be satisfied to be a bystander in your life story.
It’s your life. There’s no such thing as a dress rehearsal. You can choose to make the most of it or wait for things to come your way. If you’re spending your life complaining, making excuses, or pointing fingers, it’s time to adjust course and accept responsibility for your actions. As John Burroughs said, “A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” As with everything in life, you reap what you sow. The buck stops with you.
Additional Reading:
Earning Success the Old-fashioned Way
The Choice is Yours
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Great perspective and advice Frank!
The “buck stops with you” perspective is the only point of view that gives you personal power in life. I think the reason personal responsibility can seem like a burden is because we too often direct our attention at the past we cannot change which feeds a sense of powerlessness and turns into blame and shame,rather than on what we can do now.
There is one “consequence” to failure in pursuit of the American Dream I’d like to add – the personal satisfaction in knowing you were willing to go for it. Besides, you can always choose to pick yourself up and try again, hopefully with a little more wisdom.
Hi Susan
Your point is excellent!!! It’s really gratifying when you stick your neck out and come out on top. In addition, people get more satisfaction from working hard and through personal sacrifice, than from being handed something on a silver platter.
Have a great day!
Frank
frank frank well spoken my man!!!!
Frank, this was exactly what I needed to read this morning. As usual you’ve reminded me of things I already know but seem to remember and apply less than consistently. Thanks for the boot in the pants.
The unspoken theme of your post is what personality psychologists call “locus of control.”
People who “think that life is a spectator sport” have an external locus of control. They believe that they’re helpless to engineer their own lives. Successful people have an internal locus of control. They run their own lives.
If you have an external locus of control you let things happen. If you have an internal locus of control you make things happen.
William Ernest Henley summed up what “internal locus of control” means in his poem Invictus, 79 years before the psychologist Julian Rotter coined the term:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Thanks again.
And by the way, my role model is you.
I especially like your message that you need to take charge of your life, and assume full responsibility for your successes and failures. Doing less than that won’t get you very far, while by accepting ownership you’ll get closer to accomplishing your goals.
If you want to change the direction of your life, you have to take action and put forth the necessary effort. Most of the time that will result in success, occasionally it may result in failure (which often provides learning experiences that could lead to future success).
It’s up to you to make the most of your life, rather than wearing yourself down by complaining. Make sure you think about your actions and their possible consequences. Have a plan, structure your efforts, have faith in yourself, and be persistent.
It’s worth the effort.
Hi Tom.
I never heard the term “locus of control.” Thanks so much for sharing. I also love your definition, “If you have an external locus of control you let things happen. If you have a internal locus of control you make things happen.”
I know that a lot of people read comments that people make. Thanks so much for adding value for everyone.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
Hi George
I read and re-read your thoughts. Your comments are right on the mark. One key ingredient of success is not getting deterred by failure. As you say, “It provides learning experiences that could lead to future success.”
Successful people understand that may have to fail several times on the road to success. The key is to learn from mistakes and move on.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
Frank, many great points here. I love the quote “‘I must do something’ always solves more problems than “Something must be done.'” Thanks for the great reminders.
Mike…
Hey Frank! This is a great reminder for those who feel like the system has got them in a vice. Many simply give up their power because wielding it requires too much effort. The buck DOES stop at you. If you’re unhappy, you need to do something about it. You can’t simply “stand at the sidelines” as you mention. Thanks 🙂
This reminds me of a great quote by Alice Walker “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
Mike / Dan Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Mike, I love the quote too. It really puts things in perspective.
Dan, Great quote. Thanks for sharing. It’s so true.
Have a great day!
Best,
Frank
Love this, Frank! I especially love your thoughts on “personal responsibility” and “taking charge of your life”. The #1 character of truly successful people is they take 100 percent responsibility for their life.
Hi Kent. Thanks so much for your kind words. I agree that personal responsibility is a critical attribute of successful people. I’d also add integrity 🙂
Have a great day.
Best,
Frank
Love “success and happiness begin and end with personal responsibility” along with so many others too numerous to mention. Always love reading your blog Frank. Hope you had a wonderful summer.
Thanks so much Rossana 🙂 I hope you had a great summer as well .
Frank,
You make many great points but the one that hits home for me is that we have choices. Too many times we limit our action because we feel trapped and see only one path. Taking the time to detect and evaluate our choices offers us new possibilities. Combine that with some courage and we have great possibilities and probabilities.
Mary
You make a very good point, Mary.
We’re all confronted by countless choices each day. It’s important to weigh our options and make the decision that’s best for us. And, while we may seek input from others, it’s critical to own the decisions that we make.
Best,
Frank
Really appreciated being able to read this article and the enlightening comments that followed. Thank you!
Thanks Kathy. I’m glad you like it.
Have an awesome weekend!
Best,
Frank
A refresher course in Goals Attainment. The article reminds us that we are responsible for our actions, good and less virtuous.
‘Actions have consequences..’ The text and drive and following others blindly, is a pinch that we may be taking actions that are counterproductive or may harm others and that failure may encounter us at any corner, but we can still win at the next.
“The game belongs, not to those who sit in the tribune, cheering and jeering, but to those who are in the field, with sweat and dust on their foreheads” They are the ones who score, get points, and win the cup.
We are just entertained by their doings.
Triumph goes to the ones who take chances, even if there is a chance of defeat facing them.
Thanks Frank, for a burst of energy thrust into my conscience. Like I said in the beginning, a refresher course in goals attainment.
Well said, Eula
The fact is that you can’t take control of your life until you’re accountable for your behavior and the choices that you make. Therefore, it’s critical to own your choices rather than relinquishing that responsibility to others.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank
I really love to read articles containing thoughts about responsibility because it motivates me on how i am going to take actions on mine. It gives me courage to continue in life. I hope the author will notice me.😊
Hi Lhovelee
You are very wise. Personal responsibility needn’t be a burden. It’s a blessing to own your life.
YOU are the captain of the ship — and hold all the cards. You set your course, make the difficult choices, and determine what you’re willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals. Every time you achieve success, you can take great pride in knowing that you earned it. Conversely, every time you fail, you earned that as well. The key is that you own your life — the choices, as well as the consequences. As the Bible warns, whatever you sow, you shall reap.
Thanks for taking the time to write 🙂
Best,
Frank