Imagine having this conversation about white lies with your conscience:
“Are you really going to tell a white lie, break a promise, or stretch the truth?”
“Oh come on,” you think. “You’re not going to judge me, are you? It’s ‘just this one time.’ White lies never hurt anyone. Everyone does it. Besides, I never said I was a saint.”
Sound familiar?
The Truth About White Lies
I’m sure everyone has a “good” excuse for telling a white lie. “It’s for my family.” “I want to protect her feelings.” “It’s for the good of the organization.” But here’s the rub…
The first time you tell a lie, break a promise, or stretch the truth, you’ll probably give it some thought –– weighing the advantages and disadvantages of lowering your personal standards. You’ll undoubtedly be a little nervous because your conscience told you not to do it, but you decided to go that route anyway. And, if you get away with it, you may even think you won, but did you?
The next time you’re faced with a similar situation, you’ll probably give it less thought than the first time, and you may even accept a little more risk. Before you know it, you’ll undoubtedly think you can get away with telling lies every time. Why not? The score is already two for you and zero for your conscience. You may become so accustomed to fibbing that you don’t even question how much you’ve lowered the bar for yourself.
White Lies Matter
You can try to convince me that you’re right, if that makes you feel better, but I choose to live my life the right way. Folks like me know that when we make a promise, our word is as binding as a contract. And we know that there’s no reason for someone to challenge our word or second-guess our motives –– because we live our life with honor and integrity. That enables us to build trust, strengthen credibility and respect, and earn a solid reputation. What’s that worth? Everything!
Some people may argue that the world isn’t black and white. They know how close they can go “to the edge” so there’s no danger of this downward spiral. Well, that’s a decision between them and their conscience.
As for others, they can explain their actions away by saying that “everyone does it” or they’re doing it for the “right reason.” But I question whether they’re trying to persuade others or to convince themselves.
So the next time you find yourself saying “just this one time,” remember what you’re trading off in the process. Forget about what you may lose from your friends and colleagues, and start thinking about whether you’ll be able to face yourself in the mirror every day. Is it worth it? You’ll have to answer that for yourself. My only advice is to listen to your conscience. That’s why you have one.
Follow your conscience. Sleep well.
Do You Think White Lies Are Off Color?
Additional Reading:
Honesty: The Plain and Simple Truth
A Promise Is a Promise
50 Ways to Lose Trust and Credibility
13 Ways to Spot a Lie
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Awesome Frank! Some of us, fortunately or unfortunately, have a guilty conscience for the littlest things … like getting caught as a kid for stealing a 1 cent bubble gum. So if you have a guilty conscience and try to live without succumbing to white lies, there may be times the group may isolate you because you are not human in their eyes. Other tactics may be that you are attacks on any other flaw you might have to bring them down to their level. I guess they may be trying to dehumanize you since “who doesn’t tell white lies?” would be western societies viewpoint of the lies that don’t hurt … those innocent white lies.
Hi Michael
I believe that when we live with honor we don’t have to worry about what others will think.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
When you honor your word, you empower yourself to shape your life and experience. Why reduce your power with a little lie? The costs are too high!
Bravo David. Well said!
Best,
Frank
Frank, thanks for a challenging post. Much appreciated. My intent is not to lie. However, as I chase honesty, I find sometimes that I’ve done a good job of lying to myself. I have to constantly examine myself, because when I think I have things under control, that’s when I screw up. Thanks again. Mike…
Hi Mike
We are all imperfect. The important thing is that we strive to be better each day and go to bed with a clear conscience each night.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Thank you Frank as always, you point out great reflections.
I love your reflection about silencing your level of consciousness in each white lie until you don’t have anymore your inner voice, that tells you this is not a good way to go trough.
Hi Hilda
Thanks for your kind words.
I believe most people know the difference between right and wrong. When our conscience whispers in our ear we should listen to what’s being said –– Failing to do so is letting ourselves down
Best,
Frank
Such a simple and nice post. For me this is fundamental (that doesn’t mean I never while-lied..). But that’s what has bee told to us, majority of us, this is fundamental teaching. But as we grow up we twist everything to sceeed and live up to a lot of ours as well as other expectations.
Some people explain white lies away by saying, “everybody does it.”
The choice is yours. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank