It’s easy to know how well you did in school, the baseball game, or even at work. But how do you grade success in life? There’s more to life than money.
In school we receive grades; in baseball we count runs; and at work we get performance reviews. But life isn’t quite that simple. We may ask ourselves: “Do I have more good days or bad days? Am I doing better today than yesterday? Do I give more than I take? Am I doing better or worse than others?”
At the end of a day, we may say: “Three people smiled at me, someone thanked me for doing them a favor, and my kids told me they loved me.” Not bad.
But . . . it’s really hard to put a figure on intangibles such as a smile, a thank you, and the love of our children. And because these intangibles are difficult to quantify (and frequently not in the public eye), we often discount their true worth. Instead, we turn to more recognizable ways to measure success — money and the things it can buy.
And why not?
Money is tangible. You can feel it. You can count it. You can flaunt it. You can use it to impress others, while impressing yourself.
Money is flexible. You can save it or spend it. You can buy something for yourself or a friend. Or, you can invest your money and hopefully turn it into more money.
Money spells success. (Or does it?) It’s tempting to assume that if we have a better car, a bigger house, and take more vacations, we’re leading “the good life.” But, are we leading a meaningful life?
The truth is, money can’t buy everything. For example, money can’t buy peace of mind, good friends, a close-knit family, work-life balance, a worry-free day, good karma, time to relax, good health, a golden anniversary, quality time with your kids, a new beginning, natural beauty, happy memories, to name just a few. Many people are actually poor because the only thing they have is money.
If You Live for Money, It’s Time to Get a Life
Are you willing to sacrifice your dreams for more money? Some folks justify continuing in a miserable job situation by acknowledging that they’re well compensated. The truth is, life is short. People who live a life of purpose wake up each morning excited to pursue their dreams and make a difference. — Money can’t guarantee that.
Are you willing to compromise your honor for more money? Everything has a price, but not everything should be for sale. Some folks make money by being ruthless or doing unscrupulous things. People with a clear conscience have core beliefs and values that influence their decisions, shape their day-to-day actions, and determine their short- and long-term priorities. The result is that they spend more time listening to their inner voice. — Chances are, they sleep well at night.
Are you willing to squander your happiness for more money? Some people don’t understand the meaning of enough. They think the grass is always greener on their neighbor’s side of the fence. Others understand the difference between wanting and needing. As the Yiddish proverb says, “The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have.” — Nowhere in the proverb is the word money mentioned.
Are you willing to forgo relationships for more money? Think about “the takers.” You know them. They measure every action by how much they will personally benefit, while “the givers” do things without expectation of personal gain. Givers receive as much satisfaction (and as many karma points) by creating win-win relationships and giving to others than if they had benefited personally. — Which are you?
Are you willing to compromise quality of life for more money? Some people eye a prize without considering the sacrifices required to achieve it. Success has its own tradeoffs. It may demand long hours, time away from family or a significant financial commitment. The key is to understand the requirements for success before embarking on your journey. — Choose wisely.
Are you willing to forgo peace of mind for more money? There are those who feel that happiness lies in having more. So they never have enough. As a consequence, they set very high expectations and are constantly worried and stressed-out. — Do you call that happiness?
Are you willing to miss out on life for more money? Some people don’t take time to smell the roses. It’s hard to calculate the value of memories, such as a clean bill of health, first kiss, crossing the finish line, grandchildren, passing the driver’s test, 10-year reunion, acceptance letter, visit from the tooth fairy, cheers from the crowd, retirement, “Mama . . . Dada,” bedtime stories, potty training, a beer and a burger, and “I love you, too.” It’s important to focus on the journey as well the destination. — There’s no dress rehearsal in life.
Are you willing to cash in your personal dignity for more money? Some people are consumed with seeking the approval of others. The most important person to satisfy, however, is you. It’s your life. So do your best. Be your own person. And remember, you’re not finished until you do yourself proud. As John Mason, author, said, “You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” — It’s time to be the real you.
Money . . . What’s It All Worth?
I’m not saying that money isn’t important. Rather, this is a plea to acknowledge that there’s more to life than money. We must assign appropriate value to the intangible areas of our lives, such as our honor, personal relationships, peace of mind, and quality family time, to name a few examples. If we take these things for granted, and lose them as a result, we are on the road to personal bankruptcy.
It’s important to keep money in perspective. Do you spend more money satisfying your desires than fulfilling your needs? Do you let money dictate your activities, affect your relationships, and consume your thoughts? Is money a constant cause of anxiety and a source of stress? If you answer yes to these questions, you may be becoming a slave to your money.
When you look back on your life one day, will you gauge success by the power that you attained and the wealth that you accumulated? Or, will you measure the degree to which your life was rich in character and purpose? Will it matter that you led an honorable existence, made a difference in people’s lives, and left the world a better place for your children? Albert Einstein said it well, “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” The choice is yours. There’s more to life than money.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Additional Reading:
The Choice Is Yours
What’s the Rush?
50 Things Money Can’t Buy
Living Life on the Edge
The Most Important Lesson in Life
How Much Is Money Worth to You?
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I cannot thank you enough Frank, all that I believe, all that I think- you put so eloquently in this post.
Money is just paper my son always says.
Life is much more than “paper” – life and living is about heart, caring and the love—those are the elements that are sustainable and measurable and those are the elements that leaves imprints –everything else is obsolete. everything else if forgettable
life is more than money.. you are so right!
Thanks again for making us think and feel what is important and what is not.
Lolly
Thanks Lolly
I agree with you. My mother always used to say, “Money is just paper.”
I’d like to take a moment to emphasize a point . . . I’m not saying that money isn’t important. Instead, I believe that a “rich” life is a balanced life. As such, it’s important to assign appropriate value to the intangible areas of our lives, such as our honor, personal relationships, peace of mind, and quality family time.
Thanks, as always, for your thoughts Lolly.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Great piece Frank: will share on my social platforms.
Thanks so much Nadine 🙂
Frank, couldn’t agree more with you and Lolly. Money is not essentially
“evil” it is just a way to store human time and energy and make it portable. It is our attitude toward it that matters. Once again you’ve hit a home run. Keep ’em comin’. Augie
Great point Augie.”Money is not essentially ‘evil’ … It is our attitude toward it that matters.” It reminds us that, “The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have.” And, many of life’s greatest pleasures don’t cost a dime.
Have an awesome day! (And, congratulations on the wonderful acclaim for your new book. I read it and it’s AWESOME!)
Best,
Frank
True
This is a great article. I have been wrestling with this concept for the past year. I make 6 figures in my present position but my work environment has really deteriorated in the last year (relationships, trust, values, etc) and I spend about 12 hours per day away from home missing valuable time with my family. I had to resort to hiring nannies (multiple) to do the car pool for sports because I am busy “making money”. Part of me is scared not to make as much money, due to our bills, which we have being eliminating over the last 5 years just in case a day came when I didn’t make as much. However, I think back and remember that our life was enjoyable and full even when I made much less. I think a big change is coming in my industry anyway, so maybe the decision will be made for me. Do you work with people in situations like this often? Thank you, Marsha
Hi Marsha
There’s no simple answer to the quandary that you face. Everyone is unique with regard to their priorities. The only “right” answer is the one that works for you and your family. I encourage you to read a related post, “Living Life with a Purpose” You may find it useful. https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/living-life-with-a-purpose/
Best,
Frank
That is an amazing article Mr. Frank.
I am trying to find the documents about the topic:’ money isn’t the ultimate of life’, so it’s very helpful for me.
I strongly agree with you: money is just ‘paper’.
But with my topic above, what do you think about it? is it similar or different with your point of view?
Hi MaiTrinh
Thanks for your kind words.
I’ve given your question a lot of thought. Here are two posts that may help answer your question: “Living Life With a Purpose” https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/living-life-with-a-purpose/ and “50 Things that Money Can’t Buy.” https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/posters/50-things-money-cant-buy/
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
The desire for money is eternal, we will be unsatisfied till death for the desire for money.If this fact is really understood by all our family members. Then the relationships would become eternal and the earth would be heaven and the hell will be a tale
Hi Yarlagadda
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
Money can be a good thing or bad thing. It’s important to maintain the right perspective and keep priorities in check.
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Frank
Was facing a difficult decision until I read this. All I can say is thank you.
I’m so glad the post was meaningful for you Mark.
Have an awesome evening!
Best,
Frank
May I ask ” can we live without money in this world ? “.
Nope.. there is no life without money. The post seems applicable to those with money but not for those of us who have none due to unfortunate circumstances. Despite all our efforts, life becomes nothing more than pathetic survival. Looked down upon by everyone especially loved ones. You discover real quickly that no one has any use for those without money. Certainly there’s no respect or admiration unless you’re old and dying. You live in squalor and any kind deeds you might try to extend are received with suspicion. Money is freedom, unfortunately without it.. life is a torturous prison. Yes there’s more to life than money but only after you sufficient for your needs.
Hi Tami
I agree with your statement, there’s more to life than money, but only after you have sufficient money for your needs. (Maslow discusses this point in the hierarchy of needs.) But it is also true that some folks with money become slaves to their wealth.
As I sum up this post, “When you look back on your life one day, will you gauge success by the power that you attained and the wealth that you accumulated? Or, will you measure the degree to which your life was rich in character and purpose?” Thanks for your thoughts.
Best,
Frank
Frank I 100% agree with EVERYTHING you wrote above and I grew up with that state of mind. I am commenting because my boyfriend does NOT grasp this concept. We have a son and he’s so hung up on going going going making money and trying to look “rich” to others that he is losing all of his time with us to money. I need a way to make him feel this article. Not just read it. He really doesn’t understand that one day he will look back and have nothing but expensive materialistic items. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, how can you get someone who has never had this mindset to TRULY understand it for what it really is before it’s too late ??
Please help,
Jennie 🙂
Hi Jennie
Good question. You were fortunate to grow up with this belief while others weren’t as fortunate. They must come to this realization as they mature. There are two posts that you may find interesting. “The Secret to True Happiness” and “Living Life With a Purpose.” You’ll find that these posts reinforce this message.
Best,
Frank
This is the epitome of a “first world problem”
Frank you’re a brilliant men.. Yes I came to a point where I felt I been in prison for past 24 years chasing a piece of paper I was so blind can’t realized that. But days past I decided to live life set my mind free from this illusion world we put in a loop we do same thing over and over again and our kids would do the same as Well this earth system nothing but a system to keep us from being happy only focus on materialistic and provided to the big elite so called corporates, government.
Hi Richeckson
I’m glad you learned this important life lesson.
Some people assume that achieving greater success or accumulating material wealth automatically leads to happiness, but nothing can be further from the truth.
While buying an expensive house, closing a deal, or securing a promotion can provide satisfaction, these achievements often deliver only temporary happiness. In fact, many people pause only briefly after reaching a goal…before setting their eyes on the next prize. It’s like an addiction.
The bottom line is that we place artificial demands on ourselves that undermine our happiness. These demands force us to work harder and harder to cross a finish line that keeps moving.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi Frank,
Came across your article and I think you put it very eloquently.
I recently confided with a friend about money. Here is what I said.
“Absolutely. Money is a tool. Not your enemy and certainly not a goal. This tool should utilized properly will make your life easier. It’s a thing you use on your priorities and goals. Sometimes your priority is just keeping your head above the water, and everyone’s priority is different, but money still a tool. When you think of money as a tool, you can focus on solutions over emotions, because there are clear ways to best use that tool.
The shift in thinking changes our feelings about saving and spending. We no longer need to think in terms of good and bad, positive or negative. We’re focused on the outcome of our actions. – that’s right a mindset shifts focus on actions and goals (family, debt, medical bills, college education, travel, retirement) – either way you know your end goals and use the tool to make that subtle success toward your goal. Saving more and earning more is certainly not a bad thing, albeit not mutually exclusive. Your goal is what drives you to use this tool to achieve it. 3 philosophies to ponder: What matters to you? Create Spending/Saving Priorities. Take Small Steps (save early and give time).
What do you think?
I’m sharing your article on my social @
Hi Phuong
I believe your philosophy about money is right on point. As I say, “Money should never become the cornerstone of your life nor define you as a person.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank