People care so much about their popularity, their appearance, and their status. They care about what people think, whether others approve, and how they measure up. What’s more, people buy things to appear successful and even lower their personal standards to gain acceptance. That’s a hefty price to pay. But how are you viewed by the person you spend the most amount of time with — yourself? What do you deem more important — perception or reality?
We spend so much time worrying about our image, and so little time thinking about who we really are. Are you a good person? Are you proud of the way that you live your life? Would you want to be friends with yourself? Would you be happy if your kids followed in your footsteps?
If we spent more time and effort strengthening our moral character, we wouldn’t have to worry about the impression that we’re making. As John Wooden, the legendary college basketball coach, said, “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
When someone asks you who you’re trying to impress
your answer should always be “myself.”
Why Do We Care What Others Think of Us?
If reality is more important than perception, why don’t folks act that way? People are, by their very nature, social animals. It’s only natural to want to be liked and fit in. Besides, being complimented and comparing favorably to others can do wonders for our confidence and self-esteem. The problem occurs when people become obsessed with being liked; then perception overshadows reality.
In this scenario, appearance is more celebrated than substance, shortcuts are more commonplace than hard work, and doing what’s right gives way to doing what’s easy. In essence, smoke and mirrors outweigh authenticity. Furthermore, when the need for acceptance reigns supreme, you’re giving others control over your life. While you can shape your character, you have limited control over others’ perception of you. So, stay true to yourself.
Your character is in your hands. Your reputation is in the hands of others.
How Strong Are Your Moral Values?
Our moral values serve as guiding forces, shaping our decisions and actions, and ultimately defining the essence of our character. Here are 15 ways to determine the depth of your moral convictions:
Do you:
- Invest in your future or refuse to make sacrifices?
- Confront your fears or surrender to them?
- Keep your promises or break your commitments?
- Think about others’ needs or make everything all about you?
- Accept accountability or sidestep responsibility?
- Remain true to your values or bend to peer pressure?
- Do what’s right or make exceptions when it’s convenient?
- Set high expectations or settle for good?
- Accept adversity like a champ or feel sorry for yourself?
- Earn your rewards or feel entitled to them?
- Work to make things better or grumble about how things are?
- Appreciate what you have or continually hunger for more?
- Surround yourself with exceptional role models or hang out with negative influencers?
- Define acceptable standards of behavior for yourself or allow others to set them for you?
- Listen to your conscience or fall victim to temptation?
You Are the Author of Your Life Story
Live a life that makes you proud; one in which you begin each day’s journey with a 10-minute walk within your soul. It’s a life in which you hope for the best, try your best, and bring out the best in others. It’s a life in which you reach for the stars and extend your hand to help others in need. It’s a life in which you live with honor and integrity, give more than you take, and care not only about where life is taking you, but about how you’re getting there as well. But most of all, it’s a life in which you earn the trust, respect, and admiration of people, not because you try hard to please them, but because of who you are. What’s more important to you, perception or reality?
LISTEN UP … Listen to Your Conscience. That’s Why You Have One is now available as an audiobook. Check it out on Amazon, Audible, or iTunes.
Is Perception or Reality of Greater Importance to You?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Moral Character Matters
Live With Honor and Integrity
Take Ownership by Taking Responsibility
What Does Your Name Say About You?
10 Hallmarks of an Honorable Person
Reputation: You Can’t Run from Your Shadow
13 Ways to Be a God Role Model
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“Your character is in your hands. Your reputation is in the hands of others.” What an inspired and thoughtful take, Frank. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much, Lorelei 🙂
As I say, “Take pride in who you are and what you do. Stand tall by taking charge rather than outsourcing your responsibility to others. If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, don’t blame the mirror.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
When I was growing up my mother always said “Compare yourself to the best and strive to be better,” I recall her saying this in regards to me saying I wasn’t that bad a speller; some kids were worse!
Hi Vikki,
Your mother was right 🙂
There’s a belief that playing a sport with individuals who are more skilled than you can lead to improvement. However, that can be taken to extremes, where you measure your self-worth based on others rather than taking pride in your own achievements.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Frank, your blog always challenges my perspective and encourages deeper reflection. This post on perception versus reality is thought-provoking and timely. Thank you for sparking important conversations!
My pleasure, astrolager. I’m so glad you like it.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank