What does someone gain by being an athlete who loses a game but still receives a trophy, a student who receives failing marks but still advances to the next grade, or a person, despite being unqualified, who successfully lands a highly sought-after job? You might assume they’d be satisfied with their achievements. Perhaps. Yet, I suspect they would feel uneasy, knowing they didn’t deserve it. What impact would that have on their self-esteem and self-worth? Plenty! Do you know where confidence comes from?
Some people feel that they’ve won the lottery by achieving victory without much effort. However, real winners gain far more than displaying a trophy on a mantel. They take immense pride in knowing that they worked hard, made personal sacrifices, overcame obstacles, and remained determined until they reached their goal. In other words, they earned it.
Confidence is not about being in the spotlight;
it’s about shining from within.
Happy You, Happy Life — the Self-Esteem Equation
Confidence is the wind beneath your wings, lifting you higher and farther than you ever thought possible. It helps you feel good about yourself and believe in your capabilities. It enables you to trust your intuition — facilitating quicker and more decisive decision-making — and it reduces your need for others’ approval. Confidence makes you more receptive to learning and acquiring new skills while it motivates you to embrace feedback, seek continuous improvement, and invest in your personal growth.
Confidence in the workplace leads to improved job performance and career growth. It helps you communicate clearly and assertively, tackle tough challenges, encourages adaptability, and enables you to venture outside your comfort zone to take calculated risks. Additionally, self-confidence builds resilience, enabling you to bounce back from setbacks and failures.
Self-Confidence — Where It Begins and How It Grows
Confidence is the key that turns ordinary into extraordinary and potential into reality. It stems from self-awareness, meticulous preparation, continuous improvement, positive reinforcement, and a supportive environment. Here are 10 ways to strengthen your self-confidence:
Successful track record. Every win boosts your belief that you can do it again.
Courageous action. Venturing beyond your comfort zone and confronting new challenges fosters resilience and self-assurance.
Preparation and practice. The more you prepare and practice, the more confident you become in your abilities.
Self-improvement efforts. Committing to personal growth and continuous improvement boosts both competence and self-esteem.
Mindset and attitude. Developing a resilient mindset, where failures are learning opportunities and challenges are opportunities for growth, builds self-assurance.
Supportive environment. Surrounding yourself with supportive people creates an environment conducive to confidence-building.
Encouraging comments. Positive feedback serves as a potent form of validation, boosting your self-assurance as others acknowledge your strengths.
Self-reflection. Recognizing your strengths, skills, and accomplishments through introspection not only enhances self-esteem but also nurtures moral character.
Goal setting and achievement. Setting and achieving ambitious goals reaffirms faith in your abilities.
Personal values and beliefs. Living authentically in alignment with your values instills faith in your decisions and actions.
Confidence — Earned, Not Given
If you receive a handout or are born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you lose the incentive to work hard. Why bother paying your dues if rewards are handed to you effortlessly? The reality is that freebies breed complacency and a false sense of security. What appears to be a gift is actually a Trojan horse. Before you can say “free lunch,” your knowledge becomes outdated, your skills deteriorate, and your passion wanes.
The world doesn’t owe you anything.
The sooner you learn that lesson, the better off you’ll be.
Confidence is a gift that breathes life into dreams, rendering the tallest mountains conquerable and the greatest challenges surmountable. It’s the master key that unlocks the door to your full potential, turning “can’t” into “can” with a simple twist. It fills you with a deep sense of empowerment, propelling you to seize the world with unwavering effort and determination. Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t inherited; rather, it’s cultivated, nurtured, and honed over time. Once attained, it becomes an unwavering ally that will benefit you throughout your life journey. As President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
Check out Frank’s new book, BECOME: Unleash the Power of Moral Character and Be Proud of the Life You Choose
Where Does Your Confidence Come From?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Can You Count on Yourself?
Is Self-Reliance More Than a Buzzword?
Take Ownership by Taking Responsibility
You Bear Sole Responsibility for Your Circumstances
20 Choices that Will Determine Your Destiny
It’s Your Life to Live. Own It!
What Are Your Biggest Regrets in Life?
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Lesia Konyt says
Fantastic!!! Very accurate article and precisely outlined the truth
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thanks, Lesia. I’m so glad you like it 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
August Turak says
Dr. Sonnenberg, you have wowed me with many an insight over the years, but this “how to” may be your best one yet. I would only add one more: “Start small.” You don’t try to do 100 pushups the first day at the gym! Set REALISTIC and MANAGEABLE GOALS. And as your skills and confidence grow gradually set them higher. But your post is so good I am almost embarrassed to add anything. Well done my friend.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Great point, Augie
Thanks so much for sharing!
Best,
Frank