Formal contracts don’t make successful relationships, people do. It requires a willingness to create a foundation on which trust, loyalty, and commitment can be built. Remember, every relationship is unique and must be treated as special. The basic rule is that you get what you put into the relationship. A partnership is successful to the degree that it’s win-win for everyone. It replaces the traditional “us versus them” mentality with a new “us” that enables everyone to grow and to reach their full potential.
People who are good at building successful alliances work very hard to structure win-win relationships. A partnership succeeds in the long run when both organizations work for their common good rather than each trying to gain the upper hand. When partners spend all their time trying to outnegotiate each other, the result is that everybody loses. Moreover, one of the organizations is likely to come out noticeably ahead, leading to jealousy and resentment. In win-win relationships, everyone does their utmost to understand their partner’s needs and to satisfy them.
In the past, conventional wisdom said that multiple vendors increased competition and enhanced performance; that playing one supplier against another was good business. The goal was to win at all costs. Today, however, the trend is quite the opposite. Experience has demonstrated that the only way to build lasting relationships is to begin with honorable intentions, make a commitment, and invest the time and effort with a select few.
What Causes Business Relationships to Fail?
There isn’t a single set of rules to achieve success, but there are certain behaviors that should be avoided. For example, partnerships cannot succeed if a partner is kept in the dark and is unaware of key events. Partnerships also cannot succeed when one partner attempts to gain the upper hand or has selfish motives. Furthermore, partnerships cannot succeed if they involve scapegoating; everyone should have a vested interest in the venture’s success.
Relationships fail for many reasons; some important ones are:
Lack of commitment. Relationships fail because partners are not equally committed to the venture or to building a win-win relationship. The result is that one partner resents making a greater commitment and getting little back in return.
Cultural differences. Relationships fail when partners, particularly organizations, are unable to adapt their work styles to complement the other’s culture. For example, an entrepreneurial organization that thrives on flexibility may have trouble working with a large bureaucratic organization where several layers of approval are required before decisions are made.
Poor management. Relationships fail because management does not value the relationship and make the personal investment required to grow it. Unless management is fully behind the relationship, it will not flourish.
Poor communication. Relationships fail when organizations hinder the transfer of information. Unless there’s a philosophy of open and honest communication, people spend their time looking over their shoulder rather than moving the venture forward. Furthermore, the rationale behind decisions may not be fully understood, causing errors, redundancies, and misunderstandings.
Failure of individual relationships. Relationships also fail because the individuals responsible for maintaining them may lack either the interpersonal skills or the personal chemistry needed to nurture these relationships.
Win-Win: Together We’re a Team
Today’s lean organizations cannot survive without strong alliances to supplement their core capabilities. The result is an age of cooperation, which brings unexpected rewards. But cooperative arrangements also bring responsibilities, both now and in the future.
Every partnership should reach beyond the formal bounds of a signed contract with a willingness to do more than originally planned. Partners should promote the philosophy that the relationship was not developed for a single purpose, but for the long haul. This may mean making investments not immediately beneficial to your organization or helping your partner in ways that are tangential to the relationship.
Good relationships in business don’t just happen. They are the result of honesty, integrity, respect, commitment, trust, confidence, and openness. In any healthy relationship, partners create an environment that encourages continuous improvement, risk taking, a long-term perspective, and of course are win-win relationships. Clearly, the stronger these attributes are, the more enduring your partnerships become.
What Are Your Thoughts About Win-win Relationships?
Additional Reading:
Losing Trust: The Warning Signs
Rewarding Today’s New Breed of Employee
Leadership: Promoting Beliefs and Values
Are You Working at Cross-purposes?
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Frank, as always, a great article.
Somewhere between cultural differences and failure of individual relationships is “lack of alignment”, a term I find myself using quite frequently. An example of this would be when one person is self interested, or pushing their own agenda to the exclusion of others, while the other party is selfless.
Barbara Kimmel, Executive Director
Trust Across America – Trust Around the World
Good point Barbara. Great relationships are created when I watch your back and you watch mine. It’s about winning together. Or, as I like to say, “When everyone tries to gain the upper hand, we all lose hands down.”
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
As Ghandi stated, “an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”
Mary-Jane
Good business partners aren’t greedy; they create win-win relationships rather than trying to gain the upper hand. The truth is, giving is like a boomerang — it often finds its way back to you.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
“Good relationships in business don’t just happen. They are the result of honesty, integrity, respect, commitment, trust, confidence, and openness.”
Funny how much in common business relationships have with ALL relationships! Could it be that in each we’re dealing with PEOPLE? Great post Frank. BRING BACK THE HANDSHAKE!
You’re right, Anita. Business always comes down to people. It’s also important to note that if we treated “outsiders” as “insiders”, we’d have better relationships with our partners and suppliers too.
Best,
Frank
So many great thoughts here! I think one of the keys to a good partnership is communication – and knowing what each other expect.
So many times when a partnership breaks down it is because the partners had different concepts of how the partnership should build — and what was next.
If there was a common plan from the beginning problems would happen so much less often.
Keep up the good work — partnerships can be win-win!
R. Shawn McBride
You’re absolutely right, Shawn. Managing expectations is key. It may sound trite, but the Golden Rule absolutely applies to business as it does personal relationships –– treat people the way you want to be treated. Everyone wins as a result.
Best,
Frank