What do you regret most in life? I asked quite a few folks that question recently. Why? Because we have a choice: we can learn from other people’s mistakes or make them ourselves. The answers I received were enlightening. How many of these regrets would land on your list?
The 34 Biggest Regrets in Life (A Nonscientific Survey)
- Rushing through life. Some people are always on the run. They’re so busy being busy that they fail to make the time to enjoy life. (Learn more)
- Moving the finish line. Some folks place artificial demands on themselves that undermine their happiness. They think greater wealth leads to happiness, so they work harder and harder just to cross a finish line that keeps moving. (Learn more)
- Keeping bad company. Some people let themselves get dragged down by toxic people who lack a moral compass. (Does this regret sound familiar?)
- Lacking goals. Some folks take life as it comes, and then seem surprised to see where life has taken them.
- Speaking before thinking. Some people say or text things without thinking and then wish they could take back their words.
- Taking things for granted. Some folks take things for granted and lose them as a result. (Learn more)
- Fearing change. Some people are so afraid of leaving their comfort zone that they let opportunities pass them by.
- Failing to say no. Some folks want to please others so much that they fail to satisfy their own needs. (Learn more)
- Failing to see the downside. Some people rarely consider the downside of an opportunity. They never think the worst will happen –– until it does.
- Being the life of the party. Some folks don’t realize the damage they can cause themselves by reckless personal behavior.
- Covering for the misdeeds of others. Some people conceal the misdeeds of others and become linked to their wrongdoings.
- Following the crowd. Some folks think others know better…and they follow them right off a cliff.
- Worshipping possessions. Some people view belongings, rather than relationships, as the standard by which success is measured.
- Becoming overly dependent. Some folks become so dependent on others that they lose confidence in themselves and are stripped of their dignity.
- Compromising their integrity. Some people sell their soul to the highest bidder, and live with that choice for the rest of their life. (Learn more)
- Putting off problems. Some folks put off problems when they’re small, only to see them snowball out of control down the road.
- Failing to make hard choices. Some people treat everything as a priority –– which means nothing is a priority. As a result, important things don’t get the attention they deserve.
- Letting success go to their head. Some folks think a comfortable lead can’t be lost. So they get sloppy and lose as a result. (Learn more)
- Failing to accept personal responsibility. Some people blame the world for their misfortune and are unwilling to make the effort to achieve success. (Learn more)
- Being blinded by jealousy. Some folks are so obsessed with envy that they let resentment consume them.
- Living with fear and anxiety. Some people spend every waking moment worrying about what might happen. The truth is, it rarely does.
- Building walls around themselves. Some folks are so afraid of getting hurt that they keep relationships at a distance.
- Being distrustful. Some people are so afraid of getting burned that they treat everyone around them as a suspect.
- Failing to forgive. Some folks are so consumed by vengeance that they get swallowed up by their anger and can’t let it go. (Learn more)
- Talking a good game. Some people have big dreams, but rarely act on them. (Does this regret sound familiar?)
- Acting like a control freak. Some folks try to do everything themselves and then wonder why they’re always stressed out. (Learn more)
- Believing they’re Peter Pan. Some people don’t want to grow up, (Then they try to make up for lost time after seeing everyone else in the passing lane.)
- Losing the trust of others. Some folks violate the trust of friends and colleagues and then want things to be the same as they used to be.
- Letting themselves down. Some people have incredible ability, but fail to do what it takes to live up to their true potential.
- Winning at all costs. Some folks try to get the upper hand in relationships and seem surprised when that behavior is reciprocated.
- Creating self-imposed pressure. Some people create unrealistic goals and artificial deadlines for themselves, which leads to anxiety and stress.
- Choosing the shortcut. Some folks take the easy route only to learn that it’s filled with potholes. The truth is, there are simply no shortcuts in the long term. (Learn more)
- Trying to change others. Some people try to convert others to their way of thinking. The fact is, people change only when change is their choice.
- Not speaking out against injustice. Some folks sit silently and wait for others to do the heavy lifting –– that is, if anyone does.
You Have the Choice to Do Things Differently
We spend so much time running that we don’t take time to determine whether our behavior makes any sense. BUT, what if our behavior is leading us down the wrong path? (Practice doesn’t make perfect if you’re doing it wrong.) The fact is, if our behavior’s leading us astray, we’re compounding our mistakes. And if we don’t correct our course, regrets are born. So what would you do differently if you had the choice? The truth is, you have that choice. As Jackie Joyner-Kersee, the retired American track and field athlete, said, “It’s better to look ahead and prepare, than to look back and regret.”
What Do You Regret?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
What Are Your Biggest Regrets In Life?
Living Life With a Purpose
9 Powerful Reasons Why Your Moral Character Matters
Make Time: There’s No Dress Rehearsal in Life
10 Critical Rules For Living a Happy Life
6 Ways to Know You Need a Course Correction
Change Your Priorities: Change Your Life
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Frank, as always, your thoughts and insights are sometimes so amazingly simple but so easily overlooked in everyday life. Yet, they have a pinpoint accuracy that when i read them, I’m constantly calling out to my wife something to the effect ” T… Frank hit it again,read this!!” Quite thought provoking. We both love your writing,keep up the good work!
OJ
P.s. Say hi to “C” for us and see you in about 1 mo.
Thank you O.J. We’re looking forward to seeing you guys in paradise. Please send my very best to everyone.
Frank
Thought provoking post – nice! So many interesting comments and thought provoking ideas
thanks
Thanks Rich. I’m glad you like it 🙂
Best,
Frank
Great list Frank! In retrospect, I would take more risks…I always played it safe and while it kept my life a little more predictable, I often wonder “what if….?”
Hi LaRae
Some people play it safe out of habit while others make their decision based on logic. If the latter is true I bet it was the right one for you.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Best,
Frank
Frank Sonnenberg is one of the wisest and most astute observers I have ever encountered. If you don’t follow his posts, I promise you are missing great insights. I have experienced too many of these regrets. Thank you, Frank.
WOW Bob. I really don’t know what to say. As you may know, this is not a business; it’s my passion. Next time I ask myself why I’m doing this I’ll just read your comment. Thank you. It means a lot to me coming from you.
Best,
Frank
Winning some battles, but losing the war. No regret in fighting for the right things, but failing to accept that appreciable change was never coming…big-time regret. Sometimes you just need to move on in your career!
I hear what you’re saying, Megan.
I applaud you for fighting for the things that you believe in. Unfortunately some things are beyond our control. If folks don’t want to change it’s unlikely that they will. Our choice is to continue the battle or face reality and move on. I’m sure others have faced this situation. Thanks for your thoughts.
Best,
Frank
That is a sensational list, and I loved it…especially the forgiveness part and compromising the integrity…both things I have found hard to do…
Forgiveness releases the past, and allows you to become more slightly mindful and focused (which has its own rewards) and your integrity is like a hidden contract you have with your higher self…not to be broken if possible (and you soon feel it if you do;-)
Hi Julian
Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad you like the post 🙂
I’m always interested in the items that resonate most with people. Forgiveness and integrity are great choices.
Forgiveness does not mean suppressing your feelings or pretending the anger doesn’t exist. Instead, forgiveness requires a conscious decision to release your resentment and thoughts of revenge. As Buddha taught, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
With regard to integrity, I believe that some folks make commitments at the drop of a hat, thinking they can walk away from the obligation if they change their mind. The truth is, when you make a promise, you’re not giving your word in erasable pencil, you’re inscribing your commitment in indelible ink. As I like to say, “Your promise should be as binding as a contract.”
Thanks for your thoughts. I hope to see you back soon. Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Great list, Frank! I’ve written about regrets as well. They can be powerful motivators to change.
You’re right, Skip –– regrets are a powerful agent for change. That being said, it’s better to learn from someone else’s regret than your own 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write. Have an awesome weekend!
Best,
Frank
Thanks Frank. Thought provoking piece!
Thanks Lanre. I’m glad you like it. Have an awesome weekend!
Best,
Frank
Life is about ‘experiences’ not about regrets. If I can look back as far as I can remember, in each year of my life starting with the most recent few years, there are too many experiences that I’ve had which if given the opportunity to go back and change – i would not change a single one. After all, it is those exact same experiences, not regrets, that have made me a better human being, husband, parent, father, brother, son, friend, co-worker, colleague, manager, mentor, coach. If not for those experiences i would never have been able to improve my life and nake a difference in the lives of others.
Bravo Frank!
Some people get stuck in the past. The reality is that we can’t do anything to improve our past, but we can learn from it to improve our future.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Frank,
Thank so much for sharing this post again. It has been read a number of times and is always enlightening.
It is always a pleasure to read your posts and see your tweets.
Many blessings to you for the coming year!
Ken Jackson
Thank you so much Ken. I truly appreciate your encouragement and support.
I wish you and yours a happy and healthy new year.
Best,
Frank
Being so blinded by my entitlement that i could not act to change my behavior before i was addicted! Now that i am in recovery i only have to deal with today, without spending so much energy and time on yesterday and tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me today what i can be gratefull for!
Hi Barry
You have a wonderful attitude and outlook. I wish you much success and happiness.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank