Do you feel pulled in a million directions? I think we all feel that way. We’re torn between wanting more and being satisfied with what we have . . . between choosing a fast-track career and having a “normal” family and social life . . . between taking another piece of chocolate and thinking about how we’ll look in a bathing suit. Finding balance in life is a very noble pursuit, but it can be elusive and hard to achieve. How do you live a well-balanced life?
Because we’re all unique, it’s important to define what balance means to you and how you plan to achieve it. That process begins by establishing goals and determining priorities. Of course, there may be people who prefer to skip this step and cut to the chase, but if that path is taken, priorities will be chosen for them.
There are eight areas of our life that require careful balance. They are depicted in the following visual.
Life Is a Balancing Act
These are common dilemmas that we face each day. What’s the right balance for you?
Keeping Life in Balance
Here are some guidelines for keeping your life in balance:
Remain focused and disciplined. Do you feel overwhelmed at times? That may be because you value quantity over quality. Priorities serve as guideposts to keep you on track. Your goal shouldn’t be checking items off a to-do list, but rather doing things that matter.
Invest your time wisely. Resources are finite. When you overcommit your time or spread your resources too thin, you fail to dedicate the attention that your priorities deserve.
Learn to set boundaries. The goal shouldn’t always be adding, but also subtracting from daily tasks. While any single request may seem reasonable, added together they’ll divert your attention from your priorities. So learn to say “No.” As Jessye Norman, award-winning opera singer and performer, said, “Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.”
Minimize toxicity. While toxic food is bad for your health and well-being, so are negative and unethical people. They’ll sap your energy and drain your soul.
Invest in relationships. Studies show that relationships are a key source of happiness. Being a good spouse, parent, or friend doesn’t happen by chance. It requires an investment.
Try something new. Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for something new. Expand your horizons. You won’t know what the world offers unless you give it a try.
Treat yourself. Stop being so rigid by seeing the world as black or white. The fact is, most of life remains somewhere in between. So, if you’re living at one end of the extreme, there’s nothing wrong with deviating from your habit every once in a while.
Make time for nothing. Being busy doesn’t always mean being productive. Set aside time to relax and think. It’ll give you time to smell the roses and learn from each experience. It’s important to enjoy the journey as well as the destination.
Be open to change. Love what you do and the choices that you make, but not so much that you’re unwilling to change. There’s a fine line between passion and obsession.
Live life with a purpose. Happiness isn’t the result of accumulating things. It’s about living life with a purpose.
Remember, it’s not that you don’t have enough time to devote to things that matter to you –– but rather, the time needed was spent doing something else?
Strike the Right Balance
Many of us take each day as it comes and then seem surprised to find where life has taken us. We’ve risen to the top, but regret what we’ve lost during the journey; we’ve accumulated fancy possessions, but learned that money can’t buy the best riches in life. It’s as if we’ve followed a prepared script rather than consciously choosing the right path for us.
In the end, happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance. It’s about thinking and doing; desiring more and being satisfied with what you have; doing what you want and what is expected of you. While this may sound simple, it’s not easy. And it’s not going to happen by itself. So determine what works best for you and be conscious of the choices that you make every day. As the saying goes, “The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it.” Your happiness lies in the balance.
What Do You Think?
Additional Reading:
There’s No Dress Rehearsal in Life
What Are Your Biggest Regrets in Life?
10 Critical Rules for Living a Happy Life
It’s Time to Sweat the Big Stuff
There’s More to Life than Money
24 Ways to Simplify Your Life
The Power of a Positive Attitude
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This post is brilliant Frank.
It is clear concise and consistent.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.
Lolly
Hi Lolly
I think work life balance is an issue that we all struggle with. I’m glad you found it helpful. Thanks so much for sharing the post and for taking the time to comment.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Excellent post Frank. And I love the visual! : )
I have found that for each of us, priorities in each category will be very different. Yet, we may still wind up falling into the trap of judging each other based on our own personal values and priority system! I have felt that pressure quite a bit lately and have even tweeted about it…i.e being a widow I made drastic changes/choices in terms of my career so I could ensure my children weren’t having to raise themselves. I had to give up my title/position (status and a sense of ‘pride’ that comes with it) in order to do it.
Sometimes I’ve felt judged at times as if my choice isn’t valid or it was considered the ‘easy road’. I guarantee my choices in life have been ANYTHING but easy. If any of us had to walk a mile in each others shoes, we’d not dare to judge at all.
I loved almost every guideline your provided. On one, I recently stumbled upon a very interesting perspective regarding ‘toxic people’ that you might find of interest. I’ve read it several times since I found it because it made quite a bit of sense and caused me to rethink and re-evaluate what I believed about it.
It is called, The Art of Human Interaction by Dr. Nick Campos
www.nickcampos.com/2012/09/the-art-of-human-interaction/
I hope you find it just as intriguing of a perspective as I did.
Thanks again,
Samantha
Hi Samantha
Thanks for taking the time to comment on this post.
There’s no “right” answer to balance in life. The “right” answer is the one that works best for you.
Life balance is about making choices. Once you make your decision(s), don’t look back. No one has the right to judge you for it. It may not work for everyone, but it’s right for you. As you say, “If any of us had to walk a mile in each others shoes, we’d not dare to judge at all.”
Thanks for suggesting Nick’s post. I’ll read it tonight.
Have a great evening!
Best,
Frank
PS I can’t accept credit for the visual. Carrie is a VERY talented art director.
Loved your article! This is so true and I promote balance with all the clients I work with. Much anxiety, depression, anger and other negative emotions can be from when we feel our life is out of balance. I believe you are right, a balanced life for one person will look different for another.
Thanks for this!
Thanks Chris. I can see how being out of balance can lead to “anxiety, depression, anger and other negative emotions.” It’s important to be conscious of the choices that we make, but not over-think the issue because that can also lead to stress and anxiety. As they say, Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Have an awesome day.
Best,
Frank
Hi Frank-
Interesting article – couldn’t help but noticing that most of the focus was balancing external (outwardly) which seems like good advice but a lot of coordination maybe. I can’t help but think of the apostle Paul who is known for his method of learning how to be content in all things (inwardly) no matter how in-balance or out of balance his life was measured…. Maybe just another perspective to consider….any thoughts ?
Thanks:)
Cindy
Hi Cindy
You bring up a very important point. The list, provided above, was never intended to be all-inclusive. (I probably should have mentioned that) My intent was to provide examples of areas that require balance in life. With regard to inward/outward, that’s very observant of you. Every area of life should be included.
Thanks for taking the time to write and for advancing the discussion.
Best,
Frank
Yet another “masterpiece.” Very thoughtful and relevant. Balance is something I struggle with. My pathological empathy sometimes takes me deep into someone else’s rabbit hole before I realize I can’t see the light anymore. When I finally find my way out, I sometimes retreat too far in the other direction and bury myself in my own for awhile.
It’s been a struggle to put sane boundaries in place but it’s been worth the effort and growth. I’m still not “there” yet, but I’m at least aware there is a “there” so that’s progress. Your article articulates beautifully why the journey is important. Thank you!
Hi Anita
We all struggle with balance. You’d think that today’s advancements would improve our quality of life, but I’m not sure that’s the case.
Our quality of life isn’t going to improve by itself. We have to find a way to harness the power that today’s world affords or else we’re going to become victim to it. I’m glad this post shed some light on the issue for you.
Have an awesome day!
Best,
Frank
Wonderful reminder Frank!
Even if you win the RAT RACE, you’re still a rat. Take time to TCOY (take care of you). Every day is a gift, unwrap it with excitement, joy and gratitude.
Dear Frank
I read this wonderful article of yours today. Every point made by you here is connected to living life happily. Balance – such a beautiful state to be in, yet seems to be so difficult to achieve it. The Buddhist speak about ‘The Middle path’. Your article decodes this truth about life and make it actionable. Your article gave me this insight – As I become aware of my own needs I can set boundaries and accept reality to let go of several thoughts that pull me in different directions.
In gratitude
Meera
Hi Meera
I’m glad you like the post. More importantly, I’m happy that you’re able apply it in your life. My goal is offer actionable advice in every post.
Have an awesome weekend! Remember, “Moderation is the balance of life.”
Best,
Frank
hi Frank, still reading all the past blog posts here & all the comments, enjoying them & hopefully learning. Thanks to you and everyone who took the time to share thoughts and experience.
Gratefully, Kathyb
Hi Kathy
It’s great hearing from you 🙂
I think that comments add so much to my posts. Thanks for taking the time to recognize them.
Best,
Frank
Spot on Frank. I saved for future reference. Thank you.
Thank YOU David!