“I wonder if Mr. Otterman keeps his final exam in here,” yelled one student as he pointed to a filing cabinet in the back of the room. “Let’s open it and see,” another student responded. My classmates gathered around as they looked through the folders. All the students were talking at once. “Oh my gosh, it’s here!” “Shhh! Not so loud!” “Score!” “Wow, we don’t have to study!” “Can I have a copy of it, too?” “Guys, go make 25 copies so we’ll all have one.”
Three students returned to the room with a stack of papers. They were so proud of their achievement. One boy walked toward my desk and whispered, “Here’s your copy.”
I was horrified. I hesitated for a moment and said, “No! I don’t want to cheat.”
He was surprised. “Why?” he asked.
I couldn’t believe I was being pressured. I told him it was wrong.
He thought he wouldn’t get into trouble because so many people were involved in the scam. He was furious that I wouldn’t take a copy. He slammed the papers down on the desk and said, “The only way we’ll get into trouble is if you tell on us. You’re the only one not taking it!”
I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. I left the room as quickly as I could, but my classmate followed me, asking, “Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving!” I said.
“Going to tell on us?” he screamed. “If we get into trouble, we’ll know you’re the traitor!”
At that point, my emotions were running wild. I walked around the halls for the rest of the class. “I can’t take it. It’s wrong. I’d rather get the grade that I deserve than cheat with them.”
When the bell rang, I decided it was safe to return to the room to get my backpack. I was anxious –– almost sick — for the rest of the day. I thought I did the right thing, but inside, I felt horrible.
I spent the next few days studying for the final, while the others coasted. Worse, they texted me, “Just take a copy. If he finds out, we’ll know that it was you who told.”
Lying in bed that night, I made the decision not to tell anyone because it would have made a bad situation even worse. I decided to study for the final, do my best, and accept the grade I earned!
Looking back, I firmly believe that since they got away with cheating, they’ll probably do it again. Eventually, they’ll get caught and will have to face the consequences.
I learned a lot from this experience. I know I might be confronted with a similar experience one day. In the short term, it may be easier to follow the crowd, but in the end, you have to be able to live with your decisions. As Sophocles said, “I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating.” After all, you’re only cheating yourself.
How do you feel about cheating?
Additional Reading:
Hey, It’s Your Conscience Talking
Reputation: You Can’t Run From Your Shadow
Trust Me…Trust Me Not
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I received this post from a very special person. It took a lot of courage for her to stand up for her beliefs. I applaud her honesty and integrity. She will go VERY far in life.
We need more hero’s like you.
I am sitting at my computer and smiling and crying ALL at the same time.
What strength it took to say no.
What courage it took to walk away.
What character it took to not give in.
So proud of you.
So delighted you exist.
So honored that you shared this beautiful worthy post.
Thank you for being you.
A great fan and a humble admirer.
Lolly Daskal
Lead From Within
You are so right this person will go very far in life and they will go on to achieve great things.
As you like to say Frank, This person is the BEST OF THE BEST.
With a combination of integrity and courage… how can you go wrong.
Lolly
What a great post, and even better message. What concerns me about this, and I’m guessing this is a true story, is that the number of individuals who comprised their integrity far out-numbered the one individual who kept his (or hers). While I hope I’m wrong, it seems a metaphor for where we are now as a people – too many people are willing to compromise on the very values with which our country was founded, and too few are willing to stand up. What a great testament to the parents of this student that the values were strong enough to withstand temptation.
Hi Carol
This is a true story. And yes … you are correct when you say, “it seems a metaphor for where we are now as a people – too many people are willing to compromise on the very values with which our country was founded, and too few are willing to stand up.”
Thanks for your thoughts and for advancing the conversation.
Best,
Frank
I had to add, the writer shows a lot of talent in telling this story – well written.
One cannot but applaud this student for embracing the value of being honest under severe pressure to not fold in. It is these type of temptations that continually come at us all of our lives that create our character. How we respond to these situations is critical, as what we do is what we become. Tom Krause said, “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Recently I had a discussion with my wife regarding this very subject. The topic in discussion was about doing something that is dishonest. I mentioned that doing something dishonest is not good for the soul. I wasn’t talking about eternal judgment. I was talking about keeping our conscience in a healthy state because what we do can dampen our nature to the sensitivity of value and morality, and in so doing we cloud and compromise our future actions. What we do is what we become.
I am not saying that reversing the negative of bad choices is impossible, but decisions made, that mold and cast insensitivity to honesty, are very hard to change. I have witnessed this out of the ordinary change and it has put tears to my eyes.
Because of this student’s brave choice to be honest, it will cultivate more decisions of honesty in the future. Isn’t that GREAT!
Hi Mark
I agree with you on so many levels. In fact I’m sure he/she feels the same way. The obvious question is what causes you to think and him/her to act this way? Was it “your” upbringing? Schooling? Faith? Role models? Why do you both feel so strongly about character and personal values while others feel that the end always justifies the means? I believe WHO YOU ARE is a lot more important than WHAT YOU HAVE. I know you both feel the same way. That’s awesome!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and for advancing the conversation.
Best,
Frank