11 Ways to Escape a Victim Mentality
How often do you say, “Other people have it easier,” “Why does this only happen to me?” or “I can’t do anything right.” Your outlook can work for you or against you. Are you suffering from a victim mentality?
7 Warning Signs of a Victim Mentality
Feeling powerless and helpless. Some people feel they don’t have control over their situation. So they don’t even try to affect the outcome.
Dwelling on negativity. Some folks complain about their tough life just to attract attention or to fill a void in conversation.
Generating self-abuse. Some people continually put themselves down.
Remaining stuck in the past. Some folks refuse to let go of disappointments.
Blaming the world. Some people blame scapegoats for their difficulties and setbacks.
Being consumed by problems. Some folks wear their problems as a badge of honor.
Feeling cheated. Some people are envious and resentful. They believe that “the world isn’t fair.”
11 Ways to Escape a Victim Mentality
Playing the victim card is counterproductive. Here are 11 ways to break out of a victim mentality:
Own your life. Accept responsibility for your past, present, and future. Don’t outsource that responsibility to others.
Be positive. Focus on controlling your negative thinking. Mentally limit the times that you judge, complain, mistrust, or are jealous of others.
Believe in yourself. Do things that foster confidence and self-esteem. That includes recognizing your strengths and being kind to yourself.
Look in the mirror. Don’t compare yourself to others. It only breeds envy and resentment. When you compete with yourself, you both win.
Count your blessings. Take inventory of the wonderful things in your life. Appreciate what you have, while you have it, or you’ll learn what it meant to you — after you lose it.
Create good habits. Identify your bad habits and adjust your behavior accordingly. Remember, practice doesn’t make perfect if you’re doing it wrong.
Hit lots of singles. Strive for small wins. They offer confidence and momentum as you pursue your long-term goals.
Meet challenges head-on. Prove you can overcome tough obstacles. That will give you the strength and determination to face new ones. If you believe you can’t, you won’t.
Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for mistakes or failures. Everyone is human — we prove that every day. Learn and move on.
Let grudges go. Seeking retaliation, rather than offering forgiveness, traps you in the anger. Let it go.
Avoid becoming dependent. Determine whether a “handout” helps you get back on your feet or enslaves you to a lifetime of dependency.
Don’t make yourself a victim. Winners make the effort while losers make excuses.
Are Mental Barriers Holding You Back?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
You Get What You Expect
Mindfulness: 13 Ways to Obtain a Positive Mindset
Mental Barriers: What’s Holding You Back?
Is Your Glass Half-Full or Half-Empty?
The Power of a Positive Attitude
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Emily Chambers says
Hi, Mr. Sonnenberg. My name is Emily Chambers. I am 14 years old, but lately I’ve been trying to improve not only for myself, but friends and family. My parents have been telling me that I play the victim a lot. I realize that now. Your article has helped me find ways to get back on track. I hope that you will give me additional help to change for the permanent better.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Hi Emily
Thanks. I’m glad you like the post.
First, please call me Frank. We’re friends now 🙂
I’ll try my best to help you reach your goals and I’m sure your folks will do the same for you.
That said, I’m so glad that you’re taking ownership of your life. The truth is, you can achieve anything you want as long as you work hard and are willing to make the commitment. (No one can do it for you.)
You’ve already taken the first step. Bravo!
If you stop focusing on all the reasons why you can’t do things, you just may surprise yourself when you see what you can do.
I write a blog post every Tuesday. Take a moment out of your day and drop by.
The bottom line is this: Make yourself proud. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Best,
Frank
Loren Russell says
Thank you for writing this. I have come to realization that I play the victim card a lot. I am trying to learn to accept this and be a better person for myself. This article pointed out a lot of things I do and things I need to work on.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Hi Loren
Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad my post resonates with you.
I find that there are two types of people. The first receives negative feedback and gets defensive. The second type, receives feedback and wants to learn more. That person views negative feedback as gift rather than a slap in the face.
You have a wonderful attitude, Loren. It will serve you well throughout life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank