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No one wants to lose, but it’s an important part of life. Losing makes you self-reliant; it’s an opportunity to accept responsibility for your own destiny. Losing builds confidence and makes you strong; it inspires you to weather setbacks in the future. Losing teaches you humility; it keeps you grounded. Losing provides valuable lessons; it proves that no matter how good you are, you can always become better. Losing fosters determination; it proves that when you’re steadfast, you can overcome almost any challenge in life. Last, but not least, losing builds character. Are you a good loser?
8 Ways to Be a Good Loser
Your ability to maintain a positive attitude, learn, and move forward will determine whether you win or lose in the future. Here are eight guidelines to consider:
Take time to mourn the loss. It’s natural to get upset after a loss. Give it a good cry and move on.
Be positive. Winning without honor is worse than a loss. Hold your head up high. Remain calm and level-headed. Tomorrow’s another day.
Remain true to your values. These are the times when real leaders reveal their character. Show some grace and self-control. Be a positive role model. Do yourself proud.
Own the loss. Don’t look for excuses or cast blame. Accept responsibility for the loss or you’ll never take corrective action to better yourself.
Determine why you lost. If the loss was due to poor effort or careless errors, shame on you. It’s one thing to lose to a better opponent and quite another to beat yourself.
Raise your game. What can you do differently next time you’re faced with a similar situation? Learn and improve.
Turn barriers into hurdles. Don’t let challenges deter you from your goal. Winners run toward challenges; losers run from them.
Don’t quit. Show some grit and determination. One loss doesn’t make you a loser any more than one win makes you a winner. As Norman Cousins, the political journalist, said, “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
As Chilon of Sparta, one of the “Seven Sages of Greece,” said, “Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time.” The bottom line is that you can lose and still come out a winner. Think about it…what do you stand to lose?
This post was adapted from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness, released November, 2016 © 2017 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.
What Do You Think?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
My Kid the Superstar
How to Lose and Still Come Out a Winner
Good Times Build Confidence … Bad Times Build Character
9 Powerful Reasons Why Your Moral Character Matters
The Winner’s Edge
Promise Yourself
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I believe I learned more over the years from my mistakes than my successes. And lifelong learning is one of the keys to being successful.
Your advice is spot on again, Frank.
I think a better term than “good” loser might be “wise” or “learning” loser. Being wise to learn from your losses can only make you better.
Well done, sir.
Well said Bob. We absolutely learn more from failure than success. The key lies in our view of failure. The fact is, attitude is everything. Loses should be viewed as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block. As Winston Churchill said, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I love your post here Frank. Viewing the topic of losing, or worse, feeling like a loser, from a positive viewpoint should be shared more often. In many ways losing is just a normal part of healthy human growth. One thing I would like to add to your list is that while experiencing losing it can bring us to a psychological or spiritual place in life of being able to access extraordinary opportunities that we wouldn’t have been able to tap into without the crushing blow of losing. I sure love the title of the book, “The Power of Broke”, by Daymond John. One comment from a reader said, “Daymond John’s journey proves that desperation breeds innovation”.
Losing surely is an essential part of human growth that can position us to tap into our unconscious potentiality. As the old saying goes, Necessity is the Mother of Invention”. There is extraordinary human power that can be found in losing.
Great point Mark. “[Losing] can bring us to a psychological or spiritual place in life of being able to access extraordinary opportunities that we wouldn’t have been able to tap into without the crushing blow of losing.”
Big losses are hard to swallow. But if we look at the bright side, as you suggest, folks might be able to look back one day and say it was the best thing that ever happened to them. The fact is, everything happens for a reason.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Best,
Frank
Hello Frank,
While I absolutely agree with failure being a good teacher, having experienced it many times myself, I would also love to see balance and the other side represented as well. Perhaps you could write next on how to be a gracious winner? That too is equally as important in my view as not everyone wins well
or with the courtesy that one would hope for.
Great point Camilla. Check this out when you have a moment…
Be Humble: Don’t Let Success Go to Your Head” Here’s the link:
https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/be-humble-dont-let-success-go-to-your-head/
Have an awesome weekend! Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I have had more losses in my life than wins, and it has made me resilient. I perceive losing as an opportunity to learn from my mistakes. This mindset has carried me through many tough experiences that may have been crushing for someone else.
Bravo!!!
You have a wonderful attitude, Zainab. It will serve you very well in life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank