How to Inspire Greatness in Those Around You

One of the qualities of an exceptional friend or colleague is someone who helps you become the best you can be. If you want to inspire greatness in those around you, here are 15 guideposts to consider:

See the goodness in others. Look for the spark of brilliance in everyone. Make people feel special and appreciated and inspire the greatness in them.

Make people feel good about themselves. Be a cheerleader. Inspire them to do their best and to be their best. As Bill Walsh, the legendary football coach, said, “The four most powerful words are: I believe in you.”

Be enthusiastic for other’s achievements. Someone’s good fortune is not your misfortune. The only limitations on what you can achieve are the constraints that you place on yourself.

Encourage personal responsibility. Don’t make people dependent on you. Demonstrate your confidence by encouraging folks to think for themselves, make their own decisions, and own their lives.

Be an exemplary role model. You can lecture people until you’re blue in the face, but the best way to teach someone is to show, not tell. Words express what’s on your mind, but your actions say what’s in your heart.

Help people grow. Criticism is a hostile substitute for constructive feedback. Praise in public; present shortcomings in private. Make observations impersonal. Focus on the act, not the person.

Tell it like it is. Be straight with people — even if the message hurts. If you think protecting someone’s feelings is in their best interest, think again.

Set high expectations. Challenge people to leave their comfort zone, set stretch goals, and reach for the sky.

Promote positive change. Build the type of relationship in which you encourage change rather than demand it. People change only when change is their choice.

Boost self-confidence. Provide encouragement when people second-guess themselves or question their capabilities.

Encourage self-reliance. Exhibit trust rather than control. There’s no need to force people into compliance; if you play your cards right, they’ll manage themselves.

Remain open-minded. Respect others’ opinions — even if you disagree. True friends hotly debate issues and walk away as friends.

Be tolerant. Don’t judge people for their beliefs or force your values on them. We can’t expect others to abandon their values any more than we would forsake our own.

Demonstrate your loyalty. Be available in good times and bad. Lend a shoulder to cry on when folks are down in the dumps.

Keep people on the straight and narrow path. Challenge folks if they compromise their values or lower their personal standards.

Excerpted from Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others by Frank Sonnenberg.