When children are young, they’re totally dependent on their parents. But as they grow older, their peers and their surroundings exert a greater influence on them. How does that make you feel? Are you comfortable with the impact that tough kids on the block, trash-talking athletes, or raunchy pop stars have on your kids? How about reality-TV celebrities, greedy business executives, or politicians masquerading as “role models”? Do you know how much time your children spend listening to gangster rap, watching violent movies, or seeing obscene chats on social media? If you don’t know, you’d better wake up. The fact is, if you don’t pass your values on to your kids, someone else will.
If you don’t play an active role in raising your children, you’re leaving it all to chance. Here are 15 ways to pass your values on to your kids:
Prepare your child for life. Communicate the importance of character, values, and personal responsibility.
Stand for something. Share your beliefs and values in a consistent manner reinforced in many ways. Leave nothing to the imagination.
Encourage exemplary behavior. Inspire your kids to do their best and to be their best.
Set an example. Show, not tell. Be the person you want your kids to be. As Robert Fulghum, the author, said, “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
Manage expectations. Establish clear boundaries and encourage your kids to live within them.
Give responsibility. Give your kids the freedom to make their own choices — but teach them that with independence comes accountability.
Make yourself available. Be available, not just present. When kids are ready to talk, be there to listen. Gifts are not a substitute for caring.
Communicate more. Create an environment in which open and honest communication is encouraged. Remember, when kids grow up, they’ll hear your voice in their subconscious.
Provide discipline. Be tough, but fair. Let your kids know when they step out of bounds. The fact is, saying nothing says everything.
Keep good company. Encourage your kids to surround themselves with positive people who possess strong moral character.
Monitor the media. Observe how your kids spend their free time and whether they’re being positively/negatively influenced by others, including celebrities, music, TV, and social media.
Cultivate skills. Treat every experience as a learning opportunity in which feedback is welcomed, mistakes are tolerated, and failures are viewed as hurdles rather than as roadblocks.
Expose your kids to diversity. Teach your children to be open-minded to others’ viewpoints and beliefs.
Spend quality time. Make time to create fond memories and bond as a family.
Celebrate excellence. Recognize and reward your kids’ exemplary behavior with praise coupled with added responsibility.
Whether you like it or not, your children will be influenced by others. So your choice is to play an active role in passing your values on to your kids — or roll the dice. The truth is, raising good children doesn’t happen by chance. Behind every good kid are parents or caregivers who understand the importance of raising them that way.
Do You Pass Your Values On to Your Children?
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Additional Reading:
Are You Preparing Your Kids for the Real World?
Parenthood Isn’t Child’s Play
Where Do Bullies Learn to Be So Mean?
The Greatest Gift Parents Can Give Their Kids
25 Ways to Screw Up Your Kids
5 Powerful Truths for Raising Well-Adjusted Kids
How to Raise Happy and Productive Children
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Lisa Sicard says
Hi Frank I believe setting an example and letting them make their own decisions are key today. I think that is what is missing in most kids as parents hover and make all the decisions for them so they don’t “fail”. We learn best from our own mistakes.
Frank Sonnenberg says
You’re so right, Lisa
Are we doing our kids a favor by making their life unrealistically easy? Or are we making it impossible for them to succeed when they go out into the real world — and reality hits them right between the eyes? If you want the best for your kids, give them a good education, instill good values, and set them free.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
David Leonhardt says
Your kids will pick up your values from you. They won’t pick up much from what you say, though. But they will be keenly aware of everything you do. Subconsciously, they will internalize and emulate without even realizing they are doing so. Every parent sets an example, whether they know it or not.
Frank Sonnenberg says
I wholeheartedly agree with you, David. As I say, “Little footprints in the sand usually follow larger ones, so watch where you step.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank