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The Real Difference Between Success and Happiness
Imagine…you’ve catapulted yourself to the top of your organization and reached the pinnacle of success. You own a luxurious house, take lavish vacations, and socialize with the rich and famous –– most people would give anything to walk in your shoes. But even though you’ve achieved success beyond your wildest dreams, have you found happiness? The truth is, there is a difference between success and happiness.
Some people assume that achieving greater success or accumulating material wealth automatically leads to happiness, but nothing can be further from the truth. While buying an expensive house, closing a deal, or securing a promotion can provide satisfaction, these achievements often deliver only temporary happiness. In fact, many people pause only briefly after reaching a goal…before setting their eyes on the next prize. The truth is, many people are never really happy unless they are winning, and when the winning stops…well, you guessed it…like an addiction, they need (or should I say, want) more.
The truth is, we place artificial demands on ourselves that undermine our happiness. These demands force us to work harder and harder to cross a finish line that keeps moving. Contrast this lifestyle with a life that’s rich in purpose and in making a difference in others’ lives. The bottom line: Happiness is a byproduct of a life well lived. How does that make you feel?
The Gap Between Success and Happiness
Striving for material abundance won’t create lasting happiness as much as leading a meaningful life will. Here’s a test to show how your motivations (drivers) impact your decisions, your friendships, your life. Which are you, a success-seeker or a happiness-hunter? You may be surprised.
| Drivers | Success-Seeker | Happiness-Hunter |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Securing wealth, power, and fame. | Being rich in character and enjoying good health, meaningful relationships, and peace of mind |
| Rewards | More is always better | Enjoying the journey and achieving life balance |
| Satisfaction | Outdoing your neighbor | Being content with what you have and delighting in the happiness of others |
| Recognition | Gaining approval from others | Maintaining self-respect |
| Mindset | Taking care of “number one” | Being selfless, reflective, and humble |
| Priorities | Acting in your own self-interest | Making a difference in others’ lives |
| Goal | Winning at any cost | Doing things the “right way” and having a clear conscience |
| Relationships | Having many acquaintances or shallow friendships | Enjoying quality relationships |
| Focus | Obsessed with material possessions | Keeping good karma front and center |
How Do You View the Difference Between Success and Happiness?
Additional Reading:
Living Life With a Purpose
Moral Character Matters
Your Happiness Lies in the Balance
The Secret to True Happiness
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Hi Frank,
Thank you for this great post. I agree that seeking success and happiness can sometimes not be the same. It’s so easy to seek success hoping it would lead to happiness, but often times there needs to be a balance between the two.
Calvin
Hi Calvin
You’re right. Balance is key. The problem is that we’re so busy, being busy, that we don’t take the time to reflect. If this post helps folks stop and think for a moment, I’ll consider it a success.
Have an awesome weekend!
Best,
Frank
Thanks for this gret article, Frank. For me, Satisfaction stands out because if we are seeking success, it means outdoing our neighbor. This means that our target is always changing, and we can end up in a never-ending chase. When seeking happiness, it involves only ourselves and our mindsets – something that we can control and a “standard” that remains constant.
Thanks for sharing your insights!
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer
It’s really important to keep things in perspective. One day you’ll look back and ask, “How did I do?” Here are clues to the answer: Have you learned that happiness is as important as success? Do you care not only about where life has taken you, but about how you got there? Do you care whether you’re living a life of purpose?
Have an awesome weekend!
Frank
Hi Frank,
Having just returned from 6 weeks in Tanzania working with very happy people who are compassionate and loving toward one another and yet don’t have running water or many basics like toothpaste or shoes, your perspective really resonates.
I’m grateful that you’ve put many of the feelings and musings I’m dealing with with “reverse culture shock” into relatable words.
With gratitude,
Barb Dehn
Hi Barb
I’m sure that your time in Tanzania was incredibly rewarding. It just goes to show you that wealth is achieved by appreciating what you already have. Sometimes I see folks complaining and I just want to shake them. They don’t realize how lucky they are.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
My upbringing was such that all of us (my brothers and sisters) never ran after mere monetary rewards. We knew very clearly that success and subsequent wealth never assured anyone of real happiness.
Your views just reassured me that it is happiness which is important in everyone’s life.
Thanks.
Hi Narendra
I’m so glad that you like the post. Your parents are very wise. Money should never become the cornerstone of your life nor should it define you as a person.
Your upbringing will serve you well for the rest of your life. As I say, “Behind every good kid are parents who understand the importance of raising them that way.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi Frank,
Thank you for sharing this informative article. Honestly, I think those who love what they’re doing, accept any outcome whether winning or not. Some even knew that the hard work they’re doing is a gift. You even said so. Their satisfaction could be based on what they have, which may confirm that their grass is greener. And I undoubtedly believed a few individuals can still felt outside the circle or beyond our visual acuity, particularly those resembling a “duck — calm on the surface but paddling like mad under the water”.
Note: any successful attempt or outcome, in my opinion, only raises the gusto to explore deeper and expand my next activity or work. And unless we instinctively decided to dissociate their tandem for unknown reason(s), success can trigger happiness.
Warm regards,
John
Hi John
I wholeheartedly agree with you. It’s a wonderful gift to love what you do. I know that firsthand.
However, just as fun shouldn’t be confused with happiness, I believe that success shouldn’t be confused with happiness either.
Some people measure success by the wealth they’ve accumulated, the power they’ve attained, or the status they’ve achieved. Yet, even though they’ve reached success beyond their wildest dreams, they still have an empty feeling — something is missing from their life. Purpose.
I address this point in a piece that I wrote, “Living Life With a Purpose” Here’s the link if you’re interested.
https://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/living-life-with-a-purpose/
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Hi fank
I’m so glad that you have posted a well defined article! I think success is a good willing that endes with never end , its important following the way of happiness rather than hunting success.
Your right Bakana
Some people spend their whole life searching for happiness. While you may think wealth, power, and fame will make you happy, you may be looking in the wrong place. In fact, all the riches in the world won’t guarantee a happy and fulfilling life. You don’t have to search the globe for happiness because it already exists within you. As Glinda, the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz, said, “You’ve always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank